Date: 2026-02-13 AO: pain-train Q: Sooie PAX: Juicy J, FLO, Roadkill, Sooie FNGs: None COUNT: 4 CONDITIONS: Cold. Crisp. Waning crescent moon. Frost-bitten field. The kind of morning that makes poor decisions feel noble.
WARMUP: With only FLO and I present at 0530 we began with the F3 heresy of stretching. For a fleeting moment, I considered bypassing the labor entirely, fast-forwarding straight to coffeeteria, forging an epic backblast, and pretending the tables had been arduously carried. But before temptation could commit, Roadkill and Juicy J arrived in unison. And just like that, the motion I once considered… was tabled. We then as a group performed: – Motivators – Walkout merkins – Low slow squats
THE THANG: THE BEAST Six cones. Straight line. Ten yards apart. At each cone: 6 reps. Carry the tables the entire distance. Complete the circuit 6 times. Partner up. Acquire lumber. Cone 1: Merkins Cone 2: Table Squats (one PAX per side) Cone 3: Skull Crushers (incline Carolina Dry Dock style, hands on table) Cone 4: Step-Ups — 2 is 1 (Originally table walk-overs… but frost + slick lumber suggested we adjourn before litigation was introduced.) Cone 5: Dips Cone 6: Decline or Incline Merkins (dealer’s choice)
Lumber migrated. Shoulders fatigued. Grip integrity declined. Rounds accumulated.
Inspired by doubles luge, we proceeded to perform doubles WWII’s upon the table tops, undulating our torsos in unison! jk/lol we did not.
Instead, we shifted to ISO holds: – Reverse plank – Low plank Followed by suicide sprints to retrieve cones. 10 yards out and back. 20 yards. 30 yards. …and so on. Each cone claimed = points earned. Speed gradually decreased. Breathing escalated. Dignity fluctuated.
The remaining minutes were surrendered to abdominal exercises, as mandated by F3 law and upheld by unanimous consent.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on the faithfulness of God in the midst of uncertain circumstances.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: holy smokers Leanpax at an end. T-claps to those who made it through!
COT: Prayers lifted. Coffee enjoyed.
PLAYLIST: Gasps and Groans by the 440+
WARMUP: With only FLO and I present at 0530 we began with the F3 heresy of stretching. For a fleeting moment, I considered bypassing the labor entirely, fast-forwarding straight to coffeeteria, forging an epic backblast, and pretending the tables had been arduously carried. But before temptation could commit, Roadkill and Juicy J arrived in unison. And just like that, the motion I once considered… was tabled. We then as a group performed: – Motivators – Walkout merkins – Low slow squats
THE THANG: THE BEAST Six cones. Straight line. Ten yards apart. At each cone: 6 reps. Carry the tables the entire distance. Complete the circuit 6 times. Partner up. Acquire lumber. Cone 1: Merkins Cone 2: Table Squats (one PAX per side) Cone 3: Skull Crushers (incline Carolina Dry Dock style, hands on table) Cone 4: Step-Ups — 2 is 1 (Originally table walk-overs… but frost + slick lumber suggested we adjourn before litigation was introduced.) Cone 5: Dips Cone 6: Decline or Incline Merkins (dealer’s choice)
Lumber migrated. Shoulders fatigued. Grip integrity declined. Rounds accumulated.
Inspired by doubles luge, we proceeded to perform doubles WWII’s upon the table tops, undulating our torsos in unison! jk/lol we did not.
Instead, we shifted to ISO holds: – Reverse plank – Low plank Followed by suicide sprints to retrieve cones. 10 yards out and back. 20 yards. 30 yards. …and so on. Each cone claimed = points earned. Speed gradually decreased. Breathing escalated. Dignity fluctuated.
The remaining minutes were surrendered to abdominal exercises, as mandated by F3 law and upheld by unanimous consent.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on the faithfulness of God in the midst of uncertain circumstances.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: holy smokers Leanpax at an end. T-claps to those who made it through!
COT: Prayers lifted. Coffee enjoyed.
PLAYLIST: Gasps and Groans by the 440+