The Knoll

Date: 2026-06-04 AO: The Knoll Q: Pebbles , PAX: Pebbles, The Banker, Étouffée, Sooie, Malibu, Juicy J, Samwise, Bumblebee, Bear Grylls FNGs: None COUNT: 9 CONDITIONS: Coolish, dewy
WARMUP: SSH Bacs Bac Bacs Windmills Slow Squats Slow Merkins Run to stop sign
THE THANG: 3 rounds of 11
Merkins/Squats MOT Bear Crawls Mike Tysons/Carolina Dry Docks MOT Duck Walk Squats/Jump Squats MOT Burpee Broad Jumps
MARY: None
MOLESKINE:
the MOT was a burner in this workout. Fantastic work everyone.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:
PLAYLIST:

There and Back Again: The Labors of Charles Sanders Baggins

Date: 2026-05-28 AO: The Knoll Q: Sooie , PAX: Sooie, Pebbles, AAA, morning stār, The Banker, Malibu, Bumblebee (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 7 CONDITIONS: ““All the heaven seemed covered with a quite vivid and palpable plumage; you could only say that the sky was full of feathers…” — G.K. Chesterton” And verily, beneath such an empyrean did seven sojourning souls assemble for the morning’s labor. The sky hung draped in impossible colors: violet, mauve, pale green, and faint blushes of red spilling upward from the eastern horizon. The kind of dawn that almost convinces a man to become poetic against his will. Naturally, we began with the disclaimer: the sacred legal incantation shielding the Q from responsibility for any questionable life choices about to unfold.
WARMUP: We opened in the grand F3 tradition with Side Straddle Hops. Unfortunately, YHC briefly forgot how cadence functions and nearly resigned in disgrace as the PAX began chuckling at the unfolding numerical catastrophe. Order was restored before mutiny could take hold. – Side Straddle Hops – Walkout Merkins x3 – Low Slow Squats x10 – Imperial Walkers x10
Then came: Shoulders Into Boulders / Keep ‘Em Up / Freed to Lead The PAX rotated through arm and shoulder exercises, calling cadence for 10 reps apiece until either creativity or musculature failed us. Included among the torment: – BAC – BBAC – Shoulder Taps – Air Presses – Moroccan Night Clubs – Put the Glasses On – Seal Claps – Overhead Claps By this point the shoulders were sufficiently awakened.
THE THANG: Now fully prepared, we commenced the trials of Charles Sanders Baggins. One PAX at a time selected an exercise for the group to AMRAP while he proceeded to repeatedly hurl a sandbag approximately 28 yards across the playground in a variety of increasingly questionable fashions. The throw variations included: – Clean → Press → Full Body Chuck – Battering Ram Chuck (Right Side) – Battering Ram Chuck (Left Side) – Kettlebell “Granny” Chuck
Just as we were about to commence morning stār added a mosey to his warmup. Jogging back to his house to retrieve Bumblebee’s sandbag since the 60# behemoth would’ve proven to be unwieldy. He returned in time to participate in the first round of chucks.
As one might expect, chaos blossomed quickly. Merkins accumulated. Squats multiplied. WW2s were inflicted with reckless abandon. Shoulders deteriorated. Grip strength evaporated. And lo, no muscle group escaped taxation.
MARY: Having thrown sandbags to our hearts’ content and our rotator cuffs’ dismay, we concluded with a Ring of Fire up to five merkins. Then finally, one minute of deliberate breath work.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on meaning in the midst of futility…maybe.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Summer Bash TBD
COT: Prayer’s lifted. Sooie Brewie flowed once again. Enjoyed the post workout mumblechatter as The Banker shared his newly discovered passion for bird finding. Reminded me of a post/quote I came across: “As you age, it’s ridiculous how fast bird-watching creeps up on you. You spend your whole life being pretty indeifferent to birds…and then one day you’re like: “Dang, if i’m not mistaken, that’s a yellow-rumped warbler””

The Knoll

Date: 2026-05-26 AO: The Knoll Q: Sooie , PAX: Roadkill, Juicy J, Papa Bear, Sooie, Chains (Ryan Johnson), morning stār, Bumblebee (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 7 CONDITIONS: The heaven’s showered tears of mirth upon our gathering and the temperature was just warm enough to keep us from becoming hypothermic.
WARMUP: – Head rotations OYO – Shoulder rotations OYO – BAC 16x – BBAC 16x – Don Quixote 6x – Motivators from 5 – Slow squats (so Chains (Ryan Johnson) could join us before we proceeded to the main event)
THE THANG: BUILD-A-BURPEE 5 Cones, spaced 10 yards apart. Home cone = Burpee Assembly Station Cone 1: Squat Cone 2: Groiner Cone 3: Merkin Cone 4: Jump Squat
PAX lined up in a queue (line) and took their turn in the burpee building event. Run to cone, perform exercise at cone, run back, add it to the burpee assembly. We descended a ladder of reps from 5 amidst much rain and much mumblechatter.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on personal meditations from Pslam 107.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Summer Bash TBD
COT: Prayers lifted. PLAYLIST: pitter, patter of rain on Roadkill’s hood.

[Pain Train] Pain Train

Date: 2026-05-22 AO: Pain Train Q: Chili Dip , PAX: Pitmaster, Siri, Sooie, El Capitan, Wolfpack, Derby, Chili Dip FNGs: None COUNT: 7 CONDITIONS: Wet
WARMUP: we picked some cherries and put them in a basket and squashed some bugs.
THE THANG: team workout around the park. Total per team Member listed below. Another team member can take on more reps for the team to cover. 10 seal burpees Carry the boat(sandbag) above your head 20 pull up Carry the boat 30 Iron mikes Carry the boat 40 Merks Carry the boat 50 squats Carry the boat 60 flutter kicks Carry the boat Repeat 2 more loops cutting reps in half on each lap.
MARY: roll yourself up into a grassy sugar cookie…..bear crawl back
MOLESKINE: Make your bed. Complete the first task of the day.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:
PLAYLIST:

The High Road

Date: 2026-04-20 AO: The Eddy Q: Sooie , PAX: FLO, Sooie, Wolfpack, Stubs, Roadkill, Motorola FNGs: None COUNT: 6 CONDITIONS: brisk, baby!
WARMUP: suggested burpee apocalypse but had no takers
THE THANG: “An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.” – G.K. Chesterton
6 brave PAX ascended the steep summit of Mt. Eddy with no guarantee of safe return. Mumblechatter was in abundance. We (I) contemplated the meaning of “no” in the F3 credo, considering the legal implications of adhering to an unqualified “no”.
Paused for some breathwork at the Pavilion atop Mt. Eddy. Wolfpack tempted me to lead the PAX in impromptu table lifting and carrying…but I resisted.
We descended returning to the parking lot 3 minutes behind schedule.
MOLESKINE: Learn to reframe life’s inconveniences as adventures.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Holy Smokers at Squatter’s (Strutter? Splitter?) Bi-annual 9 square tourney at pain-train May 1.
COT: Prayers lifted in silence. Coffee enjoyed.
PLAYLIST: 90 bpm metronome

[Insane Train] Insane Train

Date: 2026-03-25 AO: Insane Train Q: Siri , PAX: Sooie, El Capitan, Juicy J, Siri FNGs: None COUNT: 4 CONDITIONS:
WARMUP:
THE THANG: Siri Beatdown
MOLESKINE:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:
PLAYLIST:

AAA Classic + Delta 7

Date: 2026-03-05 AO: the-knoll Q: Sooie PAX: AAA, Roadkill, Pebbles, Juicy J, Sooie, Churchill (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 6 CONDITIONS: Perfect F3 weather
WARMUP: Warm weather === warm body Light stretching (heresy. I know) Keep em up! BAC BBAC Shoulder taps Shoulder presses Seal claps Scissor chops Moroccan night clubs ( The Banker ) Motivators from 5 Imperial walkers
THE THANG: Mosey to the field each individual performs 100 merkins (caught up the slackers) 200 WW2’s 300 Squats 10 x 88yard moseys
All tasks completed with excellence. With time left on the clock, we proceeded to…
Thang 2: Delta Operator 7 Each PAX was given a cup full of water. Completed 7’s(11’s but 4 less reps) WW2’s and Iron Mikes with full cup in had moseying between cones attempting not to spill any water. Pebbles had the fullest cup at the end.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on Romans 5:3. Rejoicing in suffering which produces endurance -> character -> hope.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: MERKIN MADNESS GROW SCHOOL ALL CAPS
COT: Most had to bolt but we snuck a drink of water in between the thangs

AAA Classic

Date: 2026-03-05 AO: the-knoll Q: Sooie PAX: AAA, Roadkill, Pebbles, Juicy J, Sooie, Churchill (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 6 CONDITIONS: Perfect F3 weather
WARMUP: Warm weather === warm body Light stretching (heresy. I know) Keep em up! BAC BBAC Shoulder taps Shoulder presses Seal claps Scissor chops Moroccan night clubs ( The Banker ) Motivators from 5 Imperial walkers
THE THANG: Mosey to the field each individual performs 100 merkins (caught up the slackers) 200 WW2’s 300 Squats 10 x 88yard moseys
All tasks completed with excellence. With time left on the clock, we proceeded to…
Thang 2: Delta Operator 7 Each PAX was given a cup full of water. Completed 7’s(11’s but 4 less reps) WW2’s and Iron Mikes with full cup in had moseying between cones attempting not to spill any water. Pebbles had the fullest cup at the end.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on Romans 5:3. Rejoicing in suffering which produces endurance -> character -> hope.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: MERKIN MADNESS GROW SCHOOL ALL CAPS
COT: Most had to bolt but we snuck a drink of water in between the thangs

Decked Out

Date: 2026-03-03 AO: the-knoll Q: Sooie PAX: Pebbles, Roadkill, AAA, morning stār, Sparrow, Shakira, Sooie, Bumblebee (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 8 CONDITIONS: BLOOD MOOOOON!! but it was hidden by the clouds so we didn’t see it. Otherwise perfect temp. A bit windy.
WARMUP: Yes, no, shrugs 5x SSH 20x Cherry pickers 10x Low slow squats 10x Slow merkins 10x Michael Phelps Fast Merkins in cadence 10x but really 20
THE THANG: The ol’ deck of death broken into three rounds: ♣️ Merkins, dry docks, dips ❤️ SSH, mountain climbers, burpees ♦️ V-ups, Freddie mercs, big boys ♠️ Calf raises (spicolli’s), squats, iron Mike’s Aces high. Jokers = mosey to backstop placed after every 17 cards
MOLESKINE: Reflected on Psalm 46 amidst present uncertainty with AI, workplace restructuring, world events etc.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: #merkinmadness Was able to get Pebbles AAA Roadkill morning stār and Sparrow current on their merkins so there’s no excuse for them not to join in on the fun
COT: Prayers, coffee, and conversation
PLAYLIST: Wind & Birds

db.dropTables()

Date: 2026-02-13 AO: pain-train Q: Sooie PAX: Juicy J, FLO, Roadkill, Sooie FNGs: None COUNT: 4 CONDITIONS: Cold. Crisp. Waning crescent moon. Frost-bitten field. The kind of morning that makes poor decisions feel noble.
WARMUP: With only FLO and I present at 0530 we began with the F3 heresy of stretching. For a fleeting moment, I considered bypassing the labor entirely, fast-forwarding straight to coffeeteria, forging an epic backblast, and pretending the tables had been arduously carried. But before temptation could commit, Roadkill and Juicy J arrived in unison. And just like that, the motion I once considered… was tabled. We then as a group performed: – Motivators – Walkout merkins – Low slow squats
THE THANG: THE BEAST Six cones. Straight line. Ten yards apart. At each cone: 6 reps. Carry the tables the entire distance. Complete the circuit 6 times. Partner up. Acquire lumber. Cone 1: Merkins Cone 2: Table Squats (one PAX per side) Cone 3: Skull Crushers (incline Carolina Dry Dock style, hands on table) Cone 4: Step-Ups — 2 is 1 (Originally table walk-overs… but frost + slick lumber suggested we adjourn before litigation was introduced.) Cone 5: Dips Cone 6: Decline or Incline Merkins (dealer’s choice)
Lumber migrated. Shoulders fatigued. Grip integrity declined. Rounds accumulated.
Inspired by doubles luge, we proceeded to perform doubles WWII’s upon the table tops, undulating our torsos in unison! jk/lol we did not.
Instead, we shifted to ISO holds: – Reverse plank – Low plank Followed by suicide sprints to retrieve cones. 10 yards out and back. 20 yards. 30 yards. …and so on. Each cone claimed = points earned. Speed gradually decreased. Breathing escalated. Dignity fluctuated.
The remaining minutes were surrendered to abdominal exercises, as mandated by F3 law and upheld by unanimous consent.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on the faithfulness of God in the midst of uncertain circumstances.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: holy smokers Leanpax at an end. T-claps to those who made it through!
COT: Prayers lifted. Coffee enjoyed.
PLAYLIST: Gasps and Groans by the 440+