15 High Impact Men evaded the fartsack and got better together by posting for an overdue Eddie Van Halen tribute workout.
PAX: Blue Mule, Crawlspace, Cub Cadet, Dfrost, Drago, High Flyer, Hi-Viz, Michelin Man, Natural Ice, Right Said, Rug Doctor, Siri, Spinal Tap (FNG), Vector
QIC: Cunning Linguist
Gloom Factor: Mostly Mild and Moist.
At 0529, YHC called out that One Minute Warning and then exactly one minute later, a rougher-than-usual Disclaimer was given (and this is further evidence that YHC needs to post and/or Q more frequently, as has been suggested by Vector, Michelin Man, Crablegs, okay, okay, I get it). Then, a quick mosey over to the right-side of the school (right-side if you’re facing the school straight away, that is) for WOR:
15 x SSH
12 x LBAC
12 x rLBAC
12 x WMH
15 x SnL Squats
10 Good Mornings OYO
Next, YHC explained THE THANG. Simply put, we needed to celebrate the legacy of a true guitar legend who recently left this mortal coil at the relatively young age of 65: Eddie Van Halen. Thus, we would spell the name Eddie Van Halen through our workout manuevers, starting with EDDIE:
20 x El Capitans (modified so the PAX remain in place, each leg being one-half count)
20 x Dry Docks
20 x Imperial Walkers
20 x El Capitans, part deux
30 second count courtesy of Drago, then mosey to the front of the school (which is technically always the front of the school, unless you’re facing the back of the sch…, okay, now I am seriously confused, so just forget I typed that) for the VAN:
25 x V-Ups
25 x Alternating Shoulder Taps (each shoulder is one-half)
25 x Norris Merkins (i.e., Merkins on your knuckles, a la the greatest veteran of our Air Force, Chuck Norris)
20 count courtesy of Michelin Man, then another mosey to the left-side of the school for HALEN:
20 x Humpers IC
20 x Air Press
20 x LBCs
20 x Es of the Burpee variety
20 x Nightclubs of the Moroccan variety
With plenty of time left, we took another mosey along the street toward STARTEX for an impromptu bonus segment of the THANG — we would work out to the most popular song by Van Halen, which is “Jump” (and yes, Drago, I know the song came out more than a decade before you were born, but it remains a great song):
During the verses, Squats
During the chorus, JUMP Squats (totes obvi)
During the solo by Eddie Van Halen, some Side Straddle Hops
With even more time to spare, we sprinted to the end of the lot, and then planted ourselves on our sixes for a somewhat extended round of MARY:
12 x Flutter Kicks
12 x Boxcutters
15 x LBCs
Newton’s Cradle IC
10 x J-Lo’s
15 x Freddie Mercury
1 Min Free Stretch
End of Workout at 0615
An unexpectedly large turnout for YHC’s Q is both humbling and challenging but in the best of ways. It forces me to step up my game and deliver. My only hope is that we all broke a sweat and enjoyed the creativity on display (and who knows, maybe Van Halen is your new favorite band???) More seriously, I would like to thank you all for continuing to push me to be a better person by being a part of my life.
-Thoughts and prayers were given to all of those who are suffering these days in silence and are either embarrassed or otherwise unwilling to ask for help. If you haven’t heard from a friend or family member recently, please check on them. Now is not the time to be silent, men!
-Welcome to F3 Nashville, Spinal Tap! Looking forward to seeing you in the gloom more frequently (and golf clap to Natty Ice for the Emotional Headlock)!
-BOLO for a Side Straddle Hops event in the not-too-distant future. Connect with Toothless on Slack for the deets.
This is The Artist Formerly Known as Colonel Angus, signing off!