Q: princessaurora
PAX: t-cell, Black Lung, Grape, gov’t mule, Swiffer, wardas1, Will Norton, Red Skull, Pep, caprate, Go Fish, Haggis, Baguette, Tackle Box, Two Face, YumYum, Harbaugh, Full Monty
FNGs: None
COUNT: 19
CONDITIONS:
Unseasonably warm, likely due to the hot takes surrounding potential election results
THE THANG:
Today, we’d be campaigning through battleground states to earn the votes needed to win the election. Given we’re a two-party system, PAX were split into red and blue teams, and, thanks to Black Lung showing up right on time (a.k.a. 5 minutes late) YHC was able to remain a neutral election official.
After a mosey to and around the track, our first opportunity to win votes was a “debate” in the form of one lap around the track. PAX were told to select one candidate to represent their party, with Howitzer stepping in for Blue and Formica for Red.
BUT WAIT A SECOND…it’s been determined that both were no longer fit to hold office and, bypassing the primary, selected Red Skull (Blue) and Pep (Red) as new candidates. In a extremely tight race, Red Skull edged out Pep by a stride handing Blue 10 points.
Blue – 10 | Red – 0
Moving on to the battleground “state”ions! Each party’s goal is to get as many votes (reps) as possible in the time allotted.
“State”ion 1 (30 electoral votes)
Ballot Box Jumps – 4:00
WINNER: Blue
Blue – 40 | Red – 0
“State”ion 2 (50 electoral votes)
Handcount Release Merkins – 3:00
WINNER: Red
Blue – 40 | Red – 50
“State”ion 3 (80 electoral votes)
Swing State Ab Thrusters (feet in swing) – 3:00
WINNER: Red
Blue – 40 | Red – 130
“State”ion 4 (70 electoral votes)
Octoburpee Surprise*- 2:00
*if trailing team wins, they steal 10 votes from leading team in addition to earning electoral votes
WINNER: Blue
Blue – 120 | Red – 120
“State”ion 5 (40 electoral votes)
Jane6 Fondas – 3:00
WINNER: Blue
Blue – 160 | Red – 120
“State”ion 6 (90 electoral votes)
Swing State Pull-ups – 3:00
WINNER: Red
Blue – 160 | Red – 210
“State”ion 7 (60 electoral votes)
Abs-entee Ballots (Big Boy Sit-ups) – 3:00
WINNER: Red
Blue – 160 | Red – 270
This election came down to the wire with Blue having the chance to force a runoff, but in the end, Red prevailed and their version of democracy was saved.
Mosey back to flag to wrap up with some Ballot Box Cutters and Alabama Prom Dates until time.
MOLESKINE:
You never know who you might offend when you Q a workout teeming with opportunities for political jokes, but I sure I hope it was someone! Hopefully everyone felt free to put fitness and fellowship over party. It’s also worth noting here that Pep has legs when the future of our country is on the line. Dude was moving faster than I’ve ever seen him go!
Also, here’s a fun fact: given this is being written post-election, I can now proudly say that the PA Election Day Q is 100% accurate at predicting the results of American presidential elections. All eyes on will be on iiiP in 2028…
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– 11/9 – 0600 Tennessee Tussle at #brokenwheel in Nolensville – friendly competition between regions – see Hair Band for details!
– 11/16 – 0600-0800 – AOQ GrowSchool at stonewall
COT:
TAPS for
– Elizabeth Webb cancer treatment
– YumYum’s mother’s health
– Baguette’s trip with/for his father
– The country
God bless America,
PA out
