Backblasts

CONDITIONS: dusky and damp with a slice of invigoration

WOR: 41 SSH

THANG:
1 body builder burpee every minute (or so) for 41 total. Lots of movement in between.

As we went we reviewed the F3 mission and the-knoll’s unique expression of that:
“The Bellevue AOs are neighborhood workouts that accelerate F3 Nashville’s mission by equipping men to lead their lives and families with strength and integrity.”
We do this by creating opportunities for men to:
– get physically fit,
– choose fellowship over isolation
– engage with and live from their hearts
– and grow as virtuous leaders

YHC invited several PAX to share why they keep posting. Feeling glad and tender to hear the feedback.

MOLESKIN:
– Appreciate everyone coming to celebrate and work together. Was great to see the Franklin PAX visit.
– What I shared today would not have been possible without the COT we’ve built over the last year. Appreciate all the men (and kids) that have shared intentionally from their hearts to build this safe container.
– What I shared today I was able to articulate with greater clarity than ever thanks to the narrative focused trauma care (storywork) I’ve done with Mark H. from thesoulreserve.com/ and the work I did with Dr. Jake Smith Jr. via the goplumline.com/ heart group. It’s built on the work I’ve done through many thecrucibleproject.org/ and www.edgeventure.org/ groups before that and many conversations with my God, my wife and trusted friends and allies.
– I think there is a war being waged for the hearts of men (and women) and the assault of darkness starts in our childhood. As adults we can excavate our stories for the hidden treasure of truth and help our families do the same.

Announcements
– Gullivers travels continues
– F3 Fairview launches Sept 5th see #1stF for more details
– F3 Franklin has a family get together at Arrington Vineyards this Saturday
– Check slack for more

COT:
“”What we hunger for perhaps more than anything else is to be known in our full humanness, and yet that is often just what we also fear more than anything else. It is important to tell at least from time to time the secret of who we truly and fully are, because otherwise we run the risk of losing track of who we truly and fully are and little by little come to accept instead the highly edited version which we put forth in hope that the world will find it more acceptable than the real thing. It is important to tell our secrets too because it makes it easier, for other people to tell us a secret or two of their own.” – Frederick Buechner”
“”It is the glory of God to conceal a thing, but the honor of kings is to search out a matter.” -Prov 25:2″
When I was 13, after my parents divorce had settled, my dad pulled me aside in the parking lot of my mom’s apartment and said to me: “Since I’m not around anymore, you are now the man of the house. It’s your responsibility to take care of your mom and sister.”

This message filled me with a sense of pride, terror and confusion. And as the years went by I was asked–and many times forced–into roles that I had no business being in as a teenager. My parents used me to communicate to each other and I became the mediator of our family. I was the “middle man” but I was still a boy … I was a “middle boy”.

What I see now is that this all led me to internalize several dark lies about myself. By living from those lies I was able to build some skills that actually made me “successful” in school, career and other ventures. I was driven from the shadows of my subconscious to prove myself to the world around me. This way of life had a deep cost though, as I’ve come to find out.

My lie is that I’m flawed and incapable. That I’m unworthy of care. When something goes wrong I think it’s my fault and I should have prevented it. And I’m alone to figure it out.

When I feel this I …
– abdicate my roles and responsibilities
– take ownership of others’ problems
– seek validation through helping others
– sedate myself with food

Then I roll over and surrender to my inner critic who points to all this as proof that I’m unworthy of living my own life, not to mention incapable. Then, I double down in my drivenness to prove that wrong and the whole process starts over again.

I’ve been doing this for 31 years and it’s costing me the joyful, adventurous experience of a life well lived. I constantly battle the effects of stress on my body and mind. I’m detached from my loved ones. and I’m missing out on moments with my wife and my boys that I will never get back.

HOWEVER, these lies are not true.

What’s true is…
– I am precious
– I’m wanted
– I’m a delight
– I am a worthy prince

I’m a devoted and faithful husband, father and friend. My companions experience kindness, wisdom and partnership that leads them to freedom and breakthrough.

I am a worthy prince, so I can…
– receive Gods love and care for me
– govern what’s been entrusted to me
– delight in and support those in my care
– love my allies and enemies alike
– mobilize and encourage groups and families to accelerate in maturity

I can embrace teamwork and find joy in fellowship. I can smile as I gaze into the mystery ahead and move into it with power and confidence. I can ask for what I want and need and allow others to do what they are going to do. I can take care of myself. I can stop assigning others the role of validating me and my existence – I am worthy and valued and I can receive God’s love and care for me. I can practice forgiveness and receive forgiveness and I can live my life to the very last drop.

YHC encouraged the PAX to take the next step in their own personal journey to living out of the “secret of who [they] fully and truly are.”

Stay curious my friends,
-m*