Author: hambone

Posted on

Olympics

Date: 2026-02-13 AO: greenmachine Q: Focker PAX: Pep, Shania, Black Lung, Betty Ford, Cowboy, Esposa, moneyshot, Sherlock, Purple Tiger, Sardine FNGs: None COUNT: 11 CONDITIONS: crisp with closing sunrise
WARMUP: various stretchy stretches
THE THANG: Celebration of Olympics! EVENT 1 – bobsled 20,40,20,100: Bear Crawl down 10 Merkins Crab Walk back 10 jump squats increase by 10 everytime EVENT 2 – Hockey Start on goal line. Sprint to 20 yd → 5 hand release merkins Backpedal to goal line → 5 lunges Sprint to 40 yd → 10 hand releases Back → 10 lunges Sprint to 60 yd → 15 hand releases Back → 15 lunges EVENT 3 – BIATHLON COMBO Broad jump across field 1 minute wall hold 20 bird dogs each side 20 heel lifts Repeat continuously for time.
MOLESKINE: Pep complaining about obvious truth espoused by Esposa
ANNOUNCEMENTS: nothing special except Slack!
COT: Put away your cynicism and enjoy the Olympics. A time to let sports overcome differences and show America is still the best country around (except when it comes to VO2Max, Norway has us on that)
PLAYLIST: Rocky
Posted on

Hell N’ Back

Date: 2026-02-13 AO: bomber Q: Hair Band PAX: hambone, Squatter, Firefox, Pep, Vector, porcelain FNGs: None COUNT: 7 CONDITIONS: Nippy
WARMUP: 50 SSHs Mosey to parking lot 10 8ct body builders
THE THANG: 5 sets of- 10 atomic merkins at baseline Burpee broad jump down and back (3-4 parking spots worth) Jog around community center until all in
5 sets of- 10 Double Shot of Jackies Crawl bear down, bear crawl back (3-4 parking spots worth) Jog around community center until all in Mosey back to start X Mary
MOLESKINE:
ANNOUNCEMENTS: – Shieldmock tomorrow at 0600 – holy smokers Hipster’s house Feb 19th at 1900 – after-hours weekly! – AOQ Grow School March 14th at pain-train – Rise Up Nashville service event Feb 25th, see 3rdf for details
COT: – health, family, marriage, & work
PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0zbyZNI7ADWQCCDdIwIUCn?si=cTlj1Km1Td2gSxeivWZbSQ&pi=FME5T8-0Ql6wZ and Pep running his mouth
Posted on

db.dropTables()

Date: 2026-02-13 AO: pain-train Q: Sooie PAX: Juicy J, FLO, Roadkill, Sooie FNGs: None COUNT: 4 CONDITIONS: Cold. Crisp. Waning crescent moon. Frost-bitten field. The kind of morning that makes poor decisions feel noble.
WARMUP: With only FLO and I present at 0530 we began with the F3 heresy of stretching. For a fleeting moment, I considered bypassing the labor entirely, fast-forwarding straight to coffeeteria, forging an epic backblast, and pretending the tables had been arduously carried. But before temptation could commit, Roadkill and Juicy J arrived in unison. And just like that, the motion I once considered… was tabled. We then as a group performed: – Motivators – Walkout merkins – Low slow squats
THE THANG: THE BEAST Six cones. Straight line. Ten yards apart. At each cone: 6 reps. Carry the tables the entire distance. Complete the circuit 6 times. Partner up. Acquire lumber. Cone 1: Merkins Cone 2: Table Squats (one PAX per side) Cone 3: Skull Crushers (incline Carolina Dry Dock style, hands on table) Cone 4: Step-Ups — 2 is 1 (Originally table walk-overs… but frost + slick lumber suggested we adjourn before litigation was introduced.) Cone 5: Dips Cone 6: Decline or Incline Merkins (dealer’s choice)
Lumber migrated. Shoulders fatigued. Grip integrity declined. Rounds accumulated.
Inspired by doubles luge, we proceeded to perform doubles WWII’s upon the table tops, undulating our torsos in unison! jk/lol we did not.
Instead, we shifted to ISO holds: – Reverse plank – Low plank Followed by suicide sprints to retrieve cones. 10 yards out and back. 20 yards. 30 yards. …and so on. Each cone claimed = points earned. Speed gradually decreased. Breathing escalated. Dignity fluctuated.
The remaining minutes were surrendered to abdominal exercises, as mandated by F3 law and upheld by unanimous consent.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on the faithfulness of God in the midst of uncertain circumstances.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: holy smokers Leanpax at an end. T-claps to those who made it through!
COT: Prayers lifted. Coffee enjoyed.
PLAYLIST: Gasps and Groans by the 440+
Posted on

The Newest AO in Nashville

Date: 2026-02-12 AO: offthebooks Q: Squatter PAX: Dilbert, Stumbles FNGs: None COUNT: 3 CONDITIONS: Cold 30 degrees
WARMUP: SSH Imperial Walkers Butt-kickers WMH-RS-Twist Michael Phelps Good Mornings Mosey
THE THANG: HR Merkins 10 Shuttle Run Coupon Thrusters 10 Walk back 4x
Shoulder Taps 10 Shuttle Lunge Walk w Coupon Blockees 5 at each line Crawl Bear to start Shoulder Taps 10 Bear Crawl back to line Repeat
2 PAX hold plank or squat 1 PAX shuttle run with politician to line, 10 jump squats, and run back Rotate PAX
Coupon Circuit – 15 Reps Curls OH Press Tricep Ext Rows Swings Squats Flutter Kicks 2X
MOLESKINE: T-claps to Dilbert and Stumbles for coming to support this new workout location. They both drove over 30 min one way!
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Shield Mock 2/14 Holy Smokers 2/19
COT: prayers all around
PLAYLIST: 90s Classic Rock

Posted on

Don’t Make Eye Contact

Date: 2026-02-12 AO: atlantis Q: Hair Band PAX: SalPal, Puzzlah, Safety Man FNGs: None COUNT: 4 CONDITIONS: a wee bit nippy
WARMUP: 50 SSHs Mosey
THE THANG: 2 sets of: 27 Australian pushups 27 toe touches 27 pickle pounders 27 APD 27 monkey humpers
2 sets of 3 burpees every 30 seconds for 4.5min
Suicides until 2min warning
Mary
MOLESKINE:
ANNOUNCEMENTS: – Shieldmock Saturday 02/14 at 0600, see -f3-nashville-general and 3rdf for details – Holy Smokers 02/19 Hipster’s home 1900, see -f3-nashville-general & 3rdf for details – after-hours every week! See channel for details – AOQ Grow School 03/14 at pain-train
COT: Traveling mercies, work, kids, health of friends, new life
PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0QevPuf9eC8EGgUXjxiyzy?si=3nUHa1RDRaa6KnEUnk-WCw&pi=ATsK-rrzTq-Tl
Posted on

The Warm Up

Date: 2026-02-11 AO: insane_train Q: Hair Band PAX: Derby, El Capitan, Shakira, Siri, Juicy J FNGs: None COUNT: 6 CONDITIONS: damp & chilly
WARMUP: 50 SSHs 10 burpees on the min every min
THE THANG: Start w Mary
Team up groups of 3 1 person sandbag burpees 1 person SSHs 1 person bear crawls down and crawl bears back Switch and repeat until time
MOLESKINE: YHC reflected on my last day as a 26 year old, my time in Nashville F3, and my time in F3 since the beginning
ANNOUNCEMENTS: – ShieldMock this Saturday 02/14 at 0600 – HolySmokers @ Hipster’s home Feb 19th 7pm – AOQ GrowSchool @ bellevue Pain Train March 14th
COT: Prayers for health, work, and close friends
PLAYLIST: heavy breathing from the victims of the beatdown
Posted on

3 minutes is a long time. Trust me

Date: 2026-02-05 AO: greenmachine Q: Shy Guy PAX: Pep, Shania, Betty Ford, Topanga, Sherlock, Black Lung FNGs: None COUNT: 7 CONDITIONS: A brisk 21 degrees
WARMUP: SSH Tempo Squats Tempo Merkins Mosey
THE THANG: 3×3 Perform mode of transportation to the 15 yard line and back until 3 minute timer goes off. Pace is about 90% capacity, Followed by isometric core for 3 minutes.
Exercises: Burpee broad jumps Recover: plank Bear crawl Recover: side plank Sprint/backwards run Recover: side plank Shuffle Recover: 6 inches
MOLESKINE: Pep covered my 30 seconds of tardiness and started us off with his favorite exercise: Side Straddle Hops The idea for the workout was originally to be a Norwegian 4×4, a VO2 max workout, but changed last minute to accommodate the chosen exercises. Nobody wants to burpee broad jump for 4 minutes.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Slack COT: Brandolini’s law: the energy required to refute misinformation is an order of magnitude greater than the energy required to create it. I applied this to other parts of our life. Cheating on your diet for a couple days seems like it takes 2 weeks of working out to recover from. The repercussions of anger are hard to mend even if you just lose your temper temporarily. Succumbing to temptation is easy but takes divine intervention to remove sin from your life.

Posted on

Perseus’ Plank Powerset

Date: 2026-02-12 AO: the-knoll Q: Shakira PAX: Wolfpack, AAA, Roadkill, Link (2.0), Churchill (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 6 CONDITIONS: A brisk 30 degree gloom welcomed the few PAX who survived the first day of Shakira’s Racewalk school. Those who survived all the way to the end were rewarded with the first signs of Spring on the horizon: an early sunset!
WARMUP: 30 side straddle hops, 15 Baby arm circles, 15 Back backs, 10 low slow merkins, Mosey + heel/toe walk
THE THANG: We began with a 1 minute plank and an explanation of Perseus’ training advice: “If you want to be an Olympian, you need to be able to plank for 7 minutes.” By the end of the workout, we had 4 Olympic ready PAX and 2 Inchworm-Olympics level 2.0s.
Perseus’ Plank Powerset Pt. 1 3 x 4 stations (w/15 sec rest) – 1:00 Plank – 25 squats, then hold low squat – 1:00 dips (hold plank if tired) – 1:00 crunches (hollow hold if tired)
Inchworm Inchworm with Mountain Climbers, Shoulder Taps, & Bear Crawl as MOT
Perseus’ Plank Powerset Pt 2.  2 x 4 stations (w/15 sec rest) – 1:00 planks – 1:00 step ups – 1:00 merkins – 1:00 leg lifts
MOLESKINE: Consistent effort beats over night growth. A little investment every day into what matters most makes a world of difference.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Shield Mock this Saturday morning. See main slack for details.
COT: Prayers for all those who weren’t present today and praise for having people our lives who can support us
PLAYLIST: The Beautiful Zombie podcast presented by Link and Churchill.
Posted on

Squatty Potty

Date: 2026-02-12 AO: thestronghold Q: Tinkertoy PAX: Young and Restless, Barney, Chunks, Dan Tanna, Red Skull, Wham-O, Decaf, Shucker, Pom Pom, Slurpy, Sticky Fingers, Stir Fry, Puff Puff, Finger Tips, Torta, Guppy, Papa Bear, Chicken Little FNGs: None COUNT: 19 CONDITIONS: 33* calm
WARMUP: SSH, Mosey, GM, WMH, Toy Soldiers, Knee2Chest
THE THANG: Partner off -Partner 1 holds air squat or Bama prom date while partner 2 works -Start each work with a lap -26 Squat jumps – Lunge 1/2 lap – 26 monkey humpers -26 Air squats – Prisoner Walks (Creepers) 1/2 lap -26 Bama Prom Dates (2sec squeeze at top) -Mosey back -Circle Lieutenant Dan’s -CircleBurp -2 Min Plank
MOLESKINE: Hopefully we can all get off the toilet tomorrow
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Job Fair coming up for 4:13 men
COT: If it was easy everyone would do it. Everything good can be achieved with hard work and patience.
PLAYLIST: White girl bangers
Posted on

Mike Tysons Are Hard

Date: 2026-02-11 AO: titan Q: Cowboy PAX: Pep, Tim the Toolman, Squatter, Stumbles, Black Lung, Good Morning America, Firefox, Todd Doherty – F3 UMass, Spinal Tap, Choo Choo FNGs: None COUNT: 11 CONDITIONS: Cool, crisp, downright pleasant.
WARMUP: As per Titan tradition a piece of the workout was offered to PAX DR from Atlanta Todd Doherty – F3 UMass
THE THANG: Choose Pairs and Mosey Parthenon Steps. 1. Pairs do 50 Total of Mike Tysons : partner run the loop. FlipFlop R&R with Jump Shots, R&R with Mike Tysons 2. 11s at side incline hill. Burpee Buyin: ladders @ 5 GiggyUps at the bottom – Iron Mike at the top – Partners start on opposite ends With 5 Slap Merkins in the middle when you meet your partner
Mary: Hold AL Prom Dates, add leg raised to sky, 30 sec Supine Planks x 2,
MOLESKINE: Cowboy doesn’t know his right from his left. Grateful was the word of the day
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Holy Smokes 2/19 and see above :point_up_2:for New AO at Whites Creek HS.
COT: Gaze at the moon and acknowledge how small we are in a great expanse AND yet chased down by a Maker
PLAYLIST: All Coverbands – only 2 hidden original recordings. Who were they?