Q: Firefox
PAX: Puzzlah, Right Said, Tim the Toolman, Vector, Cream Cheese, Pep, DintyMoore
FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
CONDITIONS: Ripe for a Labor Revolt
Santa’s workforce had a lot to get done in the gloom this morning. As the Assistant Supervisor to Santa (ASS), YHC was in charge of getting the crew ready to hit the assembly lines, QA product, load up the sleigh, and get the goods delivered.
WARMUP:
Santa has not volunteered to lead a Warmorama in quite a while, citing prior workplace injuries; so, instead, we mosied up to the parking lot and did the following sequence OYO:
40 plank jacks
30 mountain climbers (1 side = 1/2)
20 merkins
20 forward LBAC
20 backward LBAC
20 air presses
Run (most of) the length of the parking lot and back
Feeling a bit spiteful due to the numerous workforce dress code violations, Santa had us repeat this sequence.
THE THANG:
Warmed up, we split up into two crews of 4 and hit the assembly lines, arraying ourselves in 2 lines on our sixes. Each group with a roughly 13 lb, expertly wrapped present, 1 PAX would hold the present above their head and do 10x flutter kicks, then pass the present to the next PAX, proceeding to bear crawl to the end of the line to await their next turn. Anyone not bear crawling or doing flutter kicks held a Holly Body Ho Ho Hold. We proceeded down the length of the parking lot, then came back, this time holding our legs in a 6 inch hold and doing 5 presses with the gift.
We repeated the assembly line, this time each PAX doing a single WW1/Holly Body Ho Ho Hold sit-up with the gift before moving to the end of the line expeditiously (no bear crawl), going the length of the parking lot and back.
With everything assembled, we needed to run the toys through QA inspection. All PAX circled up and held a chair, passing the gifts around for several rotations. Then, we got on our sixes and repeated a round of inspection, this time in a Holly Body Ho Ho Hold.
With inspection complete, it was time to load the sleigh. Given our diminutive stature, this required a bit of extra effort; so, in our circle, we did jump squats “in unison,” passing the present to the next PAX after each rep.
We reformed our groups of four and departed for our Present Delivery Run, which, if you took a step back, looked a lot like an Indigenous Persons Run, except the presents were being passed down the line and run back up to the front.
Finally, Santa decided to go home and hit the hot tub with Mrs. Claus early, leaving us to deliver gifts to the last two kids, which just so happened to be in some remote mountainous regions. For the first delivery, we consolidated our efforts and did an American Hammer pass with the gifts up the drive from the lower parking to the stop sign, each PAX doing a bear crawl after handing off both gifts. The last kid really didn’t deserve the special treatment, but unfortunately, we were in jeopardy of losing our “No Nice Kid Left Behind” bonus; so, we split back up into our groups of 4 and did burpee broad jumps up the drive to the stop sign, taking turns jumping forward with the gift.