Month: March 2018

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30 DETAINED INSIDE WHALE’S VAGINA

PAX

Bagger Vance, Juan Valdez, Black Widow, Floppy Disk, D’Mish, Calfkiller, Ludwig van Osh Kosh, PSL, Yard Sale, Edible Arrangement, Grease Trap, Vegemite, NumbTucks, Tidy Cats, Too Tall, Offshore, Umbrella, Dupree, Dilly Dilly, Pop-A-Lock, Reefer, Dine N Dash, Skid Mark, Black Lung, Barely Legal, Spark Plug, Old Hickory, Big Perm!, Sharks with “Lazers” (FNG), CCR (QIC)

With good weather, and the promise of a Whale’s Vagina, comes many PAX.

Confucius
circa 475 BC

As the crowd gathered, YHC had to make some quick audibles to ensure there was room to accommodate. Get ready for updates regarding a new Monday AO.  My friend Donuts got the ball rolling with a quick mosey around the bus loop including some lunges and side shuffles before returning back to the parking lot.

WOR
SHH x20 IC
Good mornings x10 IC
Slow and low merkins x20 IC
Willie Mays Hays x10 IC
Baby arm circles forward x2 IC (yes 2)

THANG
YHC took the reigns at this point and led the PAX on a mosey down to the bottom of the holler where everyone spread out shoulder to shoulder to get started on the Whale’s Vagina 3.0…

WOR (already done)
Hill Humpers – 25 humpers of your choosing at the bottom, run to top for 25 humpers, run back to bottom for 25 humpers and finish with 25 humpers on top. 100 total humps.  Mosey back to parking lot.
Atomic Broad Jumps – Ever so slightly different than Burpee Broad Jumps (in name only). We did these back and forth across the parking lot with WWI situps for the 6.  Pop-A-Lock may or may not have had a ruck on during this workout.
Lap around the new baseball/ADA path and back to the parking lot for some
Elevens – Simple.  Merkins and Jump Squats.  Effective.
‘Squats – Like, Greasetrap deep squats x25 oyo

Various Exercises – Started by D’Mish in Whale’s Vag 1.0, improved upon today.  PAX scatter and listed to me tell them what to do.
AMRAP – 60 seconds of good solid D’Mish-type merkins
Get Ups – 15 get-ups with good form.  No hands to help get up if possible.  Lots of MC related to the coccyx. Mosey back down to the pavilion for some
Incline Merkins – Find a bench…x25 oyo. SSH for the 6.  X20 OYO SSH for the 6.  X15 OYO, SSH for the 6
Nelson Mandelas – It took a minute, but we soon got the obligatory terrorist chatter from Yard Sale as we started 10 OYO and then 5 more OYO.  These really suck…just ask Yard Sale.
All You Got – Three standard suicides in a row (the short dimension of the parking lot)

Things were turnt back over to Donuts at this point:

MARY
Flutter kicks right into Slutter Kicks, Supermans (aka Pecker Rinne’s), Hello Dolly’s (aka Barry Squashers), Scorpions (including a high foot five between me and Ludwig) and a few good mornings as cool down. Done.

COT/BOM by D’Mish

BULLHORN
First Friday lunch next Friday at the Cookery at 11:30am. Make a point to stop by.   Beer night at Cowboy’s this Thursday at 8pm. See 2nd F channel on Slack for deets.   Go Ruck Death March is next Friday night. Beware.

MOLESKINE
Always great to bring back the Whale’s Vagina. For those that don’t know, I was born and raised inside the Whale’s Vagina (San Diego) which was the original inspiration for the workout. Continued prayers for Olin Mills’ dad, El Maestro and all those in need.

Until the next time,

CCR on behalf of my better half, DoughNutz

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Racetrack Murph

PAX: Dr. Smart, Edible Arrangements, Old Hickory, Life Champ, Private Sandman, Umbrella, Venus, Black widow, Vegimite, Offshore

QIC: Offshore

10 PAX showed up for a balmy 62 degree morning just beating out the rain. The PAX began to think spring might actually be coming.

Disclaimer given and a quick 1 mile mosey to get the morning started.

WoR (all IC)

SSH X10

Baby arm circles X 10 both ways

Seal Claps X 10

Arm Presses X 10

Willy Mays Hays X 10

Good mornings X 10

Thang – PAX completed the Murph – 100 pullups, 200 push ups, 300 squats plus 2 mile run (1 mile warm up and 1 mile cool down).

Mary – WW1s X 20, American Hammers x 20

 

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Sir Ellingtunes

PAX: PSL, Donuts, CCR, Bagger Vance, Yard Sale, CAPSLOCK, Big Stick, Holiday, Frogger, Edible Arrangements, Karamazov, Cowboy, Dilly Dilly, Prevac, Pop-a-lock, Dr Smartt, Vegemite, Too Tall, Floppy Disk

QIC: Floppy Disk

19 showed for a windy, musical workout at Sir E yesterday. Quick mosey up to the big house to get warmed up.

Disclaimer

WoR (all IC)
Goofballs x10
Skaters x10
Cotton Pickers x10
Guten Morgens x10
Willie Mays x10
BabyACs F x10
BigACs F x10
BabyACs R x10
BigACs R x10
Calfkiller Squats x10

THANG – 4 songs plus a little extra credit

Flowers – Moby (aka Bring Sally Up): Push-up on “bring sally up”, down on “bring sally down” and keep the chest of the ground.

Mosey to the big lot.

Thunderstruck – AC/DC: Various hopping-related exercises (ssh, high knees, butt kickers) for the duration of the song then burpee on every “thunder” or “thunderstruck”.

Mosey to the neighboring field.

Bodies – Drowning Pool: In a plank for the duration of the song doing a combination of plank jax and mountain climbers. During the chorus perform an atomic merkin each time the bodies hit the floor.

Mosey to the bottom of the big hill for a “quick” set of 7’s. Jump Squats at the bottom, split lunges at the top. Reverse mosey up, regular mosey down which was eventually modified to regular mosey both ways based on time constraints.

Long mosey through the beautiful Sir E grounds back to the church for one final song.

Guerrilla Radio – Rage Against the Machine: various ab exercises for the duration of the song that consisted of: Freddie Mercuries, Flutter Kicks, Hola Dollies, LBCs and Crunchy Frogs.

 

BH: Keep Spicoli, Olan Mill’s dad and El Maestro in your prayers.

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GI distress at The Hill

 

QIC:  Skid Mark

PAX: The Ruckers (Bagger Vance, Funyuns, Vegemite); CAPSLOCK, Prevac, Big Stick (LIFO),  Dr. Smartt, Barely Legal, Spark Plug (FNG),

It was a cold morning as the PAX showed up. A pre-ruck of Bagger Vance and Funyuns passed by to pick up Vegemite in the parking lot for continued rucking through the campus. The remaining 7 Pax circled up for the disclaimer and what turned out to be a true gut busting workout, as we lost 1 PAX to an emergent deuce and finished the workout with a 4 minute splashing of merlot.

We started with a quick mosey around the northern half of the campus and then back to the parking lot where we circled up for warm-o-rama.

Warm-o-rama – SSH, Good mornings, Willy Mays, Arm Circles x2, Merkins in cadence

Count off by 2’s – separate into 2 teams for a cold spring morning teams race.

Each team ran to the following places (in different order) and completed tasks to see who could finish first as a team.

  • Football Field
    • 100yd Merkin Suicide (add 1 merkin per 20 yrds)
  • Playground
    • 25 pullups and 100 Squats per PAX, split however
  • Amphitheater
    • ½ PAX Amphitheater Jumps x2; ½ do handstands, then flapjack
    • 2 laps around the quad loop (once for each partner)
      • Wheelbarrow up the stairs
      • Jog the loop and back down then flapjack.
      • If odd number, 1 PAX can bear-crawl the stairs x2

Team 1 was the first to finish but lost Big Stick due to emergent bathroom needs.

We then moseyed behind the football field bleachers and partnered up for some buddy love time and completed the following:

  • Partner 1: 20 Squats; Partner 2: Balls to the Wall AMRAP – Flapjack
  • Partner 1: People’s chair; Partner 2: Flutter kicks x 20 ct – Flapjack
  • Partner 1: LBCs x30; Partner 2: Plankjacks x30 – Flapjack

Mosey to the football field for 100yd sprints x4, then back down to the parking lot for some music and Mary.

Music: Mustang Sally – Buddy Guy version.

-Merkins for each “Sally”; Plankjacks for each “ride”

Mumblechatter arose about the origin story of the song as BV, Funyuns, and Vegemite joined back in at this point. In addition, we had our second loss of PAX to GI distress as Barely Legal proceeded to splash merlot repeatedly for the entire song.  I guess he really doesn’t care for the blues.

Finally, we finished with a quick succession of Flutter kicks, slutter kicks, and box cutters

BH: Come out to Battleground tomorrow (off McEwin just east of I-65) for the convergence workout for Spicoli. Apparently board shorts are the garment of choice for tomorrow.

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March Madness

QIC: Iditarod
PAX: Iditarod, Aristotle, Grohl, CDL

A balmy 30 degrees awaited the 4 Red Pillers who decided to deny the fartsack and continue to condition themselves against apathy this AM.

YHC had toiled yesterday and came up with a workout to celebrate the madness that has no doubt riddled every prognosticator’s bracket. After assuring that the two streetballs that were in YHCs possession were inflated as near to proper specification as was possible our Fab Four, Frozen Four, Final Four set off on a mosey to new vision court for this AMs festivities. The PAX was serenaded by YHCs carefully curated playlist of Jock Jams mostly old but a couple of newer gems sprinkled in. See link if at all interested.

Upon arrival at New Vision formed two lines for warm up lay ups

Brief Stretching

Free Throws F3 Style-Upon a made free through the successful pax called out rep and exercise. Every missed free throw required 3 burpees as penance. Did several rounds of this. Our best percentage round was a round of 75%.

Knockout or Bump-F3 style-Your standard playground version with a twist after a made basket you were required to do a merkin before taking next shot. Once knocked out PAX completed suicides until the game was over. Did several games of this.

Once CDL LIFOed out for Daddy Duties the pax completed a few rounds of escalators 10 Merkins, 20 Squats, 30 LBCs.

Mosey back to MMC for TOT and Prayer.

Iditarod Out

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Simple but effective

PAX: Vegemite, Black widow, Umbrella, Cathy, Venus, Funyuns (QIC)

6 PAX got out in the 34* weather to start this beautiful spring day the right way.

Disclaimer was given at 5:30 before 4 PAX took a quick mosey towards the YMCA and circled back to the parking lot for Warmarama. Cathy and Venus joined the PAX at this point.

Warmarama: SSHx20IC, BACs(f&R)x10IC, Air pressesx10IC, Seal clapsX10IC, GMsx10IC, BKsx10IC, Tempo merkins x10, ASTsx10IC, Tempo merkins x10

The Thang:

Mosey to picnic tables for 40s – step ups and dips (30-10, 25-15, 20-20, 15-25, 10-30). Mosey around back loop to monkey bars for partner work.

P1 does 10 reps of called exercise while P2 rests, then flapjack. 5 rounds for each exercise (50 reps each): Burpees, mosey to NLP building for Jump Squats, mosey to picnic tables for Derkins, mosey to monkey bars for Pull-ups, mosey to NLP building for American Hammers (Laney Lou for rest).

Mosey back to parking lot. Same partners across from each other. Bear crawl to middle for 10 bro-merkins, crawl bear back. 10 WW1s. R&R. 10 squats. Wheel barrow across parking lot to curb, flap jack and wheel barrow back to other curb. 20 FKs IC. R&R wheel barrow.

Mosey to flag for 1 minute of Laney Lou

COT/BOM

Bullhorn: Convergence at Battleground in Franklin on Friday 5:30 AM. Welcome party at 5:15. I encourage all of you to post as we show solidarity and support for Spicoli. Continue to pray for Spicoli and his family as he begins his second battle with cancer.

SYITG,

Funyuns

 

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The Dirty, Hurty, Wordy Thirty-Three

QIC: Aristotle
PAX: Iditarod, Yosef, Schnitzel, Aristotle, Grohl, CDL, NPR, Tiger’s Blood, a welcome back to Scraps, and a hero’s return to Omaha

YHC turned 33 on March 10. Decides to use his belated birthday Q to push his and all the PAX’s limits.

WOR:

Long lap around the Square, counter-clockwise
SSH x33 IC
WMH w/BAC x11 IC
WMH w/RBAC x11 IC
Good Mornings x11 IC
Hillbillies x33 IC

THE THANG:

Mosey to the bottom of ‘Sweat Box’ parking deck between Maple and Walnut.

Simple math. Three Elevens = Thirty-Three. (Not 311 the band, though YHC wished out loud that he brought some portable tunes.)

First Eleven:

Squats at bottom, jump/squat thrust at the top. Four flights of stairs in between. So much thigh burn. Convene on the 2nd floor. Mosey to 3rd floor.

Second Eleven:

On one side, use the handily-placed concrete joist to attempt pull-ups. If pull-ups unsuccessful, try Negatives or a dead hang for as long as possible.

On the other side, do some ‘REAL MERKINS’ i.e. proper push-ups: glutes and abs tight, back straight, no humping the ground, break the plane and pop yourself back up.

Many midwife noises on those attmpted pull-ups. And bits of concrete in the hair…

Third Eleven:

Ascend to 4th floor. LBC at bottom of the ramp, brisk mosey to the top of the parking deck for alternating shoulder taps.

With time running out, cut this last Eleven short for WW1 x33 OYO

Mosey back to the Square.

COT: Jesus was also 33 when he was crucified and rose from the dead. Ergo, YHC dreamed up a moderately excruciating workout. Encouraged PAX to recall the cross until Good Friday and await the hope of resurrection Sunday aka Easter.

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AMRAP, Speedbumps and Sevens at CRUEL HALL

PAX
PSL, Cinderella, Ludwig van Osh Kosh, Brother-at-Law, Big Stick (FIFO), Offshore, Edible Arrangement, Dine and Dash, Sand Lapper, Reefer, Barely Legal, CCR (YHC)

YHC arrived at the usual time to an unusual site.  Big Stick was already present and rearing to go.  He made up for his ontime arrival by prevacing about 10 min early.  12 PAX rolled in, started with 5 burpees to get the juices flowing and started off on a quick mosey around the new baseball loop.  We stopped off to grab coupons and lined up on the baseline of the pavilion for some dynamic warm ups…

WOR
All exercises back and forth to mid-court…
High Knees
Butt Kickers
Side Shuffle
50% Run > 75% Run > 100% Run
SSH x20 IC
Tempo Merkins x10 IC

THANG
Grab your coupon and circle up for some 60 Second AMRAP loops.
PAX performed AMRAP of each of the exercise below followed by a run down to the holler and back.
YHC dropped a cone midway down to the holler to act as a two-way speed bump.  Face to Face self title album from 1996 played during this time.  It is safe to say that it is all PAX first time hearing this album.  Maybe the last.

Squats
Atomic Merkins
Squat Jumps
Thrusters
Dips
Box/Bench Jumps
Curl to Shoulder Press
Burpees

Return coupons to their home and line up in the parking lot for a quick round of sevens. Big Stick out.
Mountain Merkins on the near side…
Atomic Merkins on the far side.
Quick, but effective.

MARY
Flutter Kicks x30 IC
High Plank
Alternating Shoulder Taps X20IC
Box Cutters x20IC
Slutter Kicks aka Megan Barrys x10 IC
Low plank for 60 seconds
Done

COT/BOM

BULLHORN
Convergence in Franklin next Friday to support Spicoli and his recent cancer diagnosis. Keep an eye out for details. Shirt order coming up, CCR will post something on Slack to make sure we have at least 12 interested.

MOLESKINE
With the smaller group this morning, I decided to switch things up a little bit. All PAX had an opportunity to share a prayer or praise (or both in some cases) with the group. It was really great to take a few extra minutes to slow down and listen to what others have going on in their lives. We need to do this more often. Thanks to everyone for sharing…look forward to doing it again soon.

Until next time,
CCR

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7s and 6s

PAX: Life Champ, Cowboy, Money Shot, Foggy Pirate, Bagger Vance

QIC: Bagger Vance

49 and humid for five Misfits this morning.

0529 30 disclaimer given…

0530 headlamp turned on and off we go.

Mosey around track and over to the top swing set for

WOR:

PAX squared off and commenced with

All IC x 13

Heavy breathing deep squats, Imperial Walker, hillbilly, OK mornings, Willie Mays Hayes with baby arm circle forward and reverse

PAX partnered up by YHC to perform what turned out to be the first fail of the morning… PAX instructed to do 42 pull-ups to start today

What YHC realized was twofold 1) PAX hands are about four sizes too small to grasp the makeshift pull up station and B) we need to get better at pull ups

After about 60 to 90 seconds of bodies flailing around and modifying pull-ups for Rows, YHC dropped the grenade on that portion of the morning and we went over to the hill on Belmont Park Terrace.

PAX instructed to stick together although some of the speedier ones left their brothers behind heading up the hill.

Evolution I

Simple seven Burpee‘s at the top six squats at the bottom flap jacking exercises each run up and down the hill… We cranked out five rounds of this before moving onto the next evolution.

Evolution II

Head over to Lipscomb for dirkins, thrusters, irkins, thrusters combo on the rail.  Reps of 7s &6s flap jacking the exercises and one RnR

To the wall for 42 Mike Tyson Merkins…21 performed and then wall sits followed by the remaining 21. It was at this point that Foggy P made some pretty racy comments about YHCs midwife noises and the volume during a certain private act btwn husband and wife.  It wasn’t until after all was said and done that all remaining PAX wondered why FP went there.  By the by, Life Champ gave a nod to Bigstick by taking a leak right out there in the middle of the way.

Evolution III

Cover and Move southbound on GW to corner of GW and Lone Oak. 42 ASTs and then head back to Caballo Blanco as a team for

Mary:

42” plank, F kix IC 42x, Supermans 42x sgl ct, Pistol LBCs 40x IC, SSH x 20 IC

TIME

NMM:  see above

BH:

  • Keep praying for recovery for Toga and his knee.
  • Spicoli will have his results in by this week.
  • Convergence happens this Friday to honor Spicoli at 0530 at the Battleground AO off McEwen. Please plan to make it, happy to get some clown cars loaded up and heading that way.

YHC,

Bagger Vance

 

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Physical Fitness Foundation Hill Sprints

Q: Hambone
Pax:Blacklung, Skidmark, Spiderbite, Doubtfire, Shank, Bagger, PA, Bad Boy, Edible, Cowboy, Crawfish

Hill Sprints

Type: Run and muscular endurance

Duration: 1hr

Uniform: F3 Gear and Hambone’s Toro! shirt.

Warmup
Dynamic stretching 5 min
Note: warm up consisted of SSH, Squats, IST (incorrectly named by YHC), Toy Soldier, and Cherry/Cotton Pickers

~1 mile job from Sevier to Ashwood Avenue. To ensure a steady and slow pace (~9:30 pace), Hambone lead the way and handicapped the crowd. No cobains will be given

Hill Sprints (x4)
60 sec push ups
60 sec LBCs
Sprint up hill (Ashwood Avenue bottom to 15th Avenue Meta Stop sign (sign about the stop sign)- jumping jacks at the top until everyone is there
60 squats
Jog down hill
60 sit ups
60 Werkins

~1 mile back, ~9:30, all together

NMM
Many thanks to Bagger for keeping QiC humble during his exercise naming snafu. Many thanks to Bad Boy for a time check to get us back by 0800. I was debating a 5th trip up because that hill was just that great.

Props to the left side of the sprint hill. The left site was the serious side. If I had medals to give, I would have given ourselves medals for being too serious. Then again, with so many studs on the right and their ability to effortlessly sprint up, seriousness wasn’t needed.

I have to admit that I wing most of my Qs. With a varying range of PAX fitness and undetermined numbers of who will show up, it’s always difficult to plan a good Q that leaves everyone smoked yet improved. I stumbled upon a link on Reddit (of all places) that contained a compilation of workouts for Army platoon leaders to implement with hopes of improving their men. This workout was mostly planned with enough variation to allow for modifications due to physical and geographical limitations. I can attest that this was a personally-satisfying Q because I think everyone was able to go and grow at their own pace. No man was left behind. Everyone had to try at some point. There was enough mumblechatter to keep things going.

Going into 2018, I wanted to set myself up to show sustained and measurable improvements in my fitness. I want my five mile pace to be at 8 mins. I’d like to post a 15:00 min 2 mile. With some of these planned workouts and consistent running and posting, I think it’s attainable.

If you’re interested in using these workouts or some variation of them, check them out here (PT workouts) and here (running).