AO: pain-train
Q: Sooie
PAX: Wolfpack, Derby, Stubs, Chili Dip, Juicy J (JBowman), Piglet, Sooie
FNGs: None
COUNT: 7
CONDITIONS:
The air, cold and crisp, at last rang the death knell of summer and heralded the final turn into fall. The stars faintly lit our chosen field, while the moon, in modesty or malice, hid its face from what was to come. The Magnificent 7 assembled beneath that dim firmament, resolute and grim, knowing full well the travail before them. For they had seen the playlist of pain unveiled the night prior — and none could plead ignorance.
WARMUP:
Warmup? Nay! Such luxuries are not found aboard the Insane Train.
Those who would ride her rails are expected to have stretched their sinews ere 0530 strikes. YHC issued the disclaimer, reminding all PAX that F3 aligns with no creed nor denomination and in those fleeting moments before the suffering began, urged each man to make peace with his Maker.
THE THANG:
Thing the First
Hand-Release Merkins, in cadence, performed until collective failure. None escaped the burn. A re-entry toll of 10 squats was levied upon any who dared rest — though lactic acid made swift work of all good intentions.
Thing the Second
Having rendered our arms unto jelly, the fellowship advanced upon the field — a 100-yard pilgrimage of lunges and squats.
For lunges, 2 is 1, and each interval saw our number increase by one:
1 lunge, 1 squat… 2 lunges, 2 squats… until the full measure of 10 had been reached.
At last, we stood before the cairn of cinder blocks, grim trophies of pain. “And now what?” someone breathed.
A gentle mosey back? Nay!
The call went forth: Murder bunnies! — all the long way home.
Thing the Third: The Circuit of Suffering
Having returned to our stations, we began a rotation. Each PAX endured one torment until the timer PAX completed their trial, then all advanced to the next circle of pain.
Block Work Stations:
• Concentration Curls — Bent at the waist, curl the block toward thy chest.
• Renegade Rows — Plank upon two blocks; lift one, then the other, in grim salute.
• Block Swings — Momentum and madness.
• Full-Collapse — Descend fully to the ground and rise again, the block ever in hand, never kissing the dew.
• Steering Wheels — Arms locked straight, blocks turned in furious orbit like mad charioteers in a hellish race.
• Three-Point Press — Lift to chest, extend outward, draw back, press to heaven. Repeat. Regret. Repeat again.
Timer Work:
• One lap ‘round the path
• Upon second rotation, replaced with 50 LBCs
When all had completed a full cycle, the PAX took a light mosey to clear the mortal coils of fatigue before returning to their posts.
Finale: The Sacred Brigade
With seven minutes remaining for the Magnificent 7, we undertook the Hot Squat Block Brigade — a low squat line, blocks passed hand to hand, legs trembling in fiery unity. Once all had been delivered unto their resting place, the PAX closed with a Ring of Fire, hand-release merkin style.
MOLESKINE:
YHC reflected upon the nature of burden and brotherhood how weight, shared among men, becomes lighter; how pain, endured together, transforms into strength. The morning’s frost could not chill what had been forged: a fellowship of iron beneath the cold October stars.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
f3dads and 2.0’s workout THIS SATURDAY 9 am. Green hills park.
COT:
Prayers were lifted for courage in hardship and grace in all endeavors. Derby Draught was downed in grateful camaraderie as the sun at last breached the horizon — a silent witness to our toil and triumph.
