12 Days of Christmas

AO: detention
Q: Focker
PAX: Deep State, Esposa, Topanga (Scott), Accounts Receivable, Matador, Movin On Up, Pedialyte, Harry Caray, Andrew McDermott, Michael Freiburg, Kraut, Florida Man
FNGs: 1 Florida Man
COUNT: 13
CONDITIONS: cold cold cold

WARMUP: stretches, snow angels, toy soldiers, reindeer run

THE THANG:
1 curl with descending/lift the kid to bed
2 thrusters lift the trees
3 sit ups with bag
4 pull throughs/slide the box
5 squats/lift the box
6 crunchy frogs
7 overhead presses/lift the kid
8 squats
9 flutters
10 descending merkins/fill the sweater
11 lunges fill the pants
12 120 plank

Followed by 3 sprints and some gut work

MOLESKINE: FNG Paul getting out after Butterball Crawl. Excellent job Pedialyte and EZ-Go on the connection!

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 51 weeks for us to brainstorm on Butterball Crawl improvements and advertising

COT: prayers for Andrew McDermott friend and Harry Caray mother.

HAIL HYDRA

AO: greenmachine
Q: Natural Ice , Chunks, Squatter
PAX: Pep, Esposa, SalPal, Grape, Topanga (Scott), Focker, Cowboy, Young and Restless, Hipster, Wham-O, Betty Ford
FNGs: None
COUNT: 13
CONDITIONS: Low 40s and perfect

WARMUP: NO SSH FOR YOU Pep!!!
Why warm up when you can run to the track :man-shrugging:

THE THANG: The 3 Heads of Hydra

Squatter kicked off the first 15 minutes with a simple and effective concept

Start at 0m
10 merkins, 10 burpee broad jumps, 10 air squats, 10 lunges, 10 flutter kicks, bear crawl to the 100m line, run the rest of the track (picking up the 6), and rinse and repeat.

YHC took over at 5:45

Starting at the end of the field with performed 30 SSH – (My psyop to get the full PAX into cadence was a complete failure)
10 8-count body builders, 20 Big Boy Sit Ups and we ran to the other side of the field to rinse and repeat.

Now that we are over Ocotburpee, 8 count body builders are all the rage.

Lastly Chunks closed us out.
Sprints up the hill, sets of Perfect Merkins, Burpees :pinched_fingers: the perfect way to close out a beat down before ending with some light stretching.

MOLESKINE: IMHO – Co Qs should be about keeping the momentum high and not planning to much as team. Mission accomplished

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Percy Warner Accent this Saturday, f3 Afterhours/Afterdark/NightF3 next Thursday, Turkey Trot in Crieve Hall, Grow School in December

COT: Prayers for the Clay Family, Lifting up Hipster, and for all of us to lean into community as we are not built to grow/thrive on our own.

I am thankful for you guys!
-Natty Out

All typos courtesy of me writing this out and not using Chatgpt

123 Burpee

AO: detention
Q: Esposa
PAX: Uncle Jerry, Pedialyte, Focker, Grape, Donkey Hammer, Andrew McDermott, Harry Caray, Young and Restless, Accounts Receivable, Matador, Fortran, EZ-Go, Topanga (Scott)
FNGs: None
COUNT: 14
CONDITIONS: very crisp

WARMUP: Broga followed by burpee Apocalypse

THE THANG: Deck of Cards
:clubs: lung 2=1
:hearts: Arods= j-low with a pickle pounder
:diamonds:Superman’s
:spades: Merkins
Aces. 11 burpees plus the work out

MOLESKINE: get it

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 2.0 work out, Crieve Hall Butter Ball Crawl

COT: Prayer

Stages of Labor

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Focker
PAX: Pepsi, Esposa, Matador, DrRupp, Topanga (Scott), Betty Ford, Choo Choo, Pole Dancer, Matt Lanahan
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS: heat thunder

WARMUP: nahhh

THE THANG: today we learned about the stages of labor to get children into this world

Early labor
Dilation 0-6cm
1,2,3,4,5,6 8-count bodybuilders
“Alternate between resting and working to get labor going”
Contractions 5-30 min 15-45 sec
5 merkins, 5 prisoner squats, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. Run between sets to rest

Active labor
“actively work through labor with your birthing team”
“Birth affirmations”
Dilation 6-8 cm
Every PAX does 6,7,8 pull ups while everyone affirms them. PAX are doing leg pumps—>monkey humpers—>prom dates to “relax” between “contractions”

Transition
“Burpee coping method”
Contractions Every 2 minutes for 60-90 sec
Dilation 8-10 cm
8 burpees in 60 sec
9 burpees in 60 sec
10 burpees in 60 sec
1 minute plank
8 burpees in 60 sec
9 burpees in 60 sec
10 burpees in 60 sec

Pushing stage!
“Keep breathing and work with your body, not against it”
Dilated 10 cm
Contractions 3-5 min lasting 30 sec
2 sprints with small la mazze breathing session

Placenta delivery
Core work

MOLESKINE: I think we all left today realizing labor is just like F3, maybe even a little more difficult

ANNOUNCEMENTS: check slack

COT: May we all appreciate and recognize our mortality and the small blessings in this life

Coupon Carry

AO: detention
Q: Focker
PAX: Deep State, Young and Restless, Pedialyte, Movin On Up, Average Size, EZ-Go, Esposa, Donkey Hammer, Topanga (Scott), Pound Puppy, Peabody
FNGs: None
COUNT: 12
CONDITIONS: Perfect

WARMUP: dynamic football warmup

THE THANG: grab large coupon for the group and mosey to bottom of bus loop.
One PAX goes backward up hill while others race to the top and do exercises while waiting. Then back to bottom and switch PAX
Navy seals
Burpees
Wall sit
Ww1
Inch worm merkins
Sit throughs
Flutter kicks
Deep squats
Dry docks
Slow heel drops
Diamond merkins

Mosey to playground and one PAX rifle carries coupon to top of ramp while other PAX work
Pull ups
Jump squats
Dips/skull crushers
Lunges
Navy seals

MOLESKINE: good solid work to loosen up our bodies for the week ahead. Good Mumblechatter, yet still difficult

ANNOUNCEMENTS: looking forward to Topanga (Scott) leadership and thank you Deep State!

COT: a call to appreciate the moments we have with our families because time is fleeting

Fly, you fools! 🧙‍♂️

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Toothless
PAX: Betty Ford, Focker, Topanga (Scott), Pole Dancer, Esposa, Oatmeal, Matador, sooner, DrRupp, Hot Water
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: One more nippy day, still warm comparably. Slippery on the grass though, conducive for injury.

WARMUP:
– SSH x 25
– Air presses x 10
– Michael Phelps x 10
– Willy Mays Hays x 10
– Carrot pullers x 10
– Scorpions x 10

THE THANG: Fly, you fools! :male_mage:

Mosey to tennis courts to the horns and drums of Howard Shore…

Defend Helm’s Deep
– Tag based capture the flag
– 10 x merkins to reset as a defender
– 10 x squats to reset as an attacker
– Mutual tags are allowed
– Downed players can be tagged to reset their count
– Attackers win when flag is captured and returned
– 7 minute cap, swap and play other side

Ride of the Rohirrim
– Rohirrim run across field between baseball diamonds, dark forces of Easterlings and Haradrim tag (a la sharks & minnows)
– Tagged players go back to start after performing 10 burpees, hold plank through next waves until all are tagged
– Teams swap positions and repeat
– Cut field in half and all bear crawl instead of run
– Teams swap positions and repeat

Last March of the Hobbits
– “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” – Samwise Gamgee
– Travel “there and back again” across the field
– Team must always be carrying one man, others are lunging. Cycle men out from the carrying group, cycling man runs to physically tag lunger who joins the carriers. All must be carried at least 20 steps, first full team to get there and back wins.

Destroy the Ring
– Overcome the mental and physical attachment to comfort with 25 burpees

Round table at the Green Dragon (Mary to time)

MOLESKINE:
All fun and games here on April Fool’s Day, evidenced by the ever industrious PAX finding ways to bend the rules to their purposes.

Defending Helm’s Deep went fairly smoothly, a few leaps over the tennis nets and an interesting tagged-but-tossing-the-flag strategy secured the win for both teams. Mutual tagging as a strategy “passed out of all knowledge” as teams fell back on a one-sided tagging approach.

Ride of the Rohirrim was not without incident – very few survivors made it across the fields though there were some very close calls. I’m sure I missed some, but I saw Topanga (Scott) absolutely lay out to tag Pole Dancer before he made it through. YHC managed to sprain an ankle while attempting to cut away from sooner, fulfilling the prophecy of all F3 games resulting in at least one injury. The bear crawl round proved to be far too difficult for the runners, with YHC being the only survivor due to playing dead under Matador after accidentally felling him in friendly fire before crawling to the end when the Eye of Sauron moved away.

Last March of the Hobbits was pretty much an instructional disaster which I will own up to, leaving much room for interpretation. After team 2 took a roaring lead by having everyone carry the one person to reduce the slowness of the lunging, team 1 copied that strategy and flew past during a switch while carrying our lightest member of the party, reminding team 2 that it was a minimum of 20 steps per person which they had misunderstood to mean only a maximum of 20 steps per person before switching. A valiant sprint was made after that reminder, but to no avail.

Almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section, but the Hobbits celebrating with a flagon at the Green Dragon were not as safe as they seemed…someone ripped a loud, juicy fart, inspiring Topanga (Scott) to comment: “Well that was straight from the eye of Sauron.” It was too much for the PAX to take, exercises suffering in quality for several minutes until Focker forced focus with his slow burn reverse leg raise.
Last but not least, almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section. Unfortunately the Hobbits at the Green Dragon weren’t as safe as they seemed…

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– brewsday is TODAY! 4:30p @ 12S Taproom!
– Spring Fling is this Sunday at the Warner parks, shelter #5, families & friends welcome!

COT:
– sooner shared
– Pole Dancer shared
– Focker shared

Grateful for the vulnerability in the CoT, PAX. YHC shared a word about the importance of fun and silliness in our every day lives, and shared appreciation for the PAX joining me in that today.

As always, it was an honor to lead, men. I’ll SYITG throughout the week!