Outback Beatdown

AO: detention
Q: EZ-Go
PAX: Andrew McDermott, Donkey Hammer, Esposa, EZ-Go, Focker, Michael Freiburg, Pedialyte, Pepsi, Topanga, Young and Restless, Hit and Run
FNGs: 1 Hit and Run
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS:
Looked like rain

WARMUP:
25 SSH
Willy Mays Hayes
Good Mornings

THE THANG:
*Grab a block
4 corners:
Round 1 – 20 curls, 15 incline merkins, 10 squats, 5 burpees
Round 2 – 20 tricep extensions, 15 decline merkins, 10 shoulder presses, 5 burpees
Round 3 – 20 kb swings, 15 spider merkins, 10 thrusters, 5 burpees
Mode of transportation – Lunges, fireman’s carry, lunges, fireman’s carry

Tabata:
30s on, 10s off for 20 minutes of…
Pike hold on bench (or plank)
Squat hold
L-sit hold
Chin-over-bar hold (or dead hang)

Finished with 1 minute of low plank

MOLESKINE:
The manifold wisdom of Topanga already proving itself with this little schedule switcheroo between Focker and myself. Really enjoyed leading and getting in some muscle pump with those static holds. The rock gods of Metallica and Pearl Jam kept us going and conversations of vocational school philosophy filled the pavilion.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– 413 Strong begins again with a new class
– The Struggle overnight CSAUP is June 4-5

COT:
– Prayers for friends IVF treatment

Always a party. Thankful to lead.
-EZ

Slightly Stupid

AO: cruelhall
Q: Movin On Up
PAX: Mistah Mistah, Donkey Hammer, Accounts Receivable, EZ-Go, Focker, Esposa, Young and Restless, Pepsi, Pedialyte, Matador, Pound Puppy, Hit & Run
FNGs: 1 Hit & Run
COUNT: 13
CONDITIONS: Moist

WARMUP:

20 SSH
10 Imperial walkers
10 Hill Billy’s
willy mays
Indian run

THE THANG:

– Atomic Merkin/Drydock apocalypse together

– Playground partners:

1 runs down hill, bear crawls up to weed
2 swerkins

1 runs down hill, bear crawls up to weed
2 WFAGs

1 runs down hill, bear crawls up to weed
2 dips

1 runs down hill, bear crawls up to weed
2 low row on bars

SSH for 6, don’t stop moving

10 Burpee/pullup

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

4:13 Struggle is coming up in June for those interested

COT:

Thanks for letting me lead this morning and way to get after it. I feel like I could run through a wall right now! :facepunch:

Big Freedia, Small % of Completed Passes

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Pole Dancer
PAX: Cocktail, TheShield, sooner, Oatmeal, Matador, Toothless, Young and Restless, Focker, bluemule, Esposa, Betty Ford, DrRupp, Steve Austin, Joe Dickey
FNGs: None
COUNT: 15
CONDITIONS: Dewy and Cool

WARMUP: Quick mosey to the fields, active warmup, stretching OYO while delivering instructions for the thang

THE THANG: DORA and Ultimate Frisbee! Set to the rhythmic stylings of New Orleans bounce tunes (obviously a fan favorite of the PAX)

Paired off for a DORA buy-in proceeding some all-offense ultimate!

50x Supermans
100x Burpees
150x Squats
200x Mountain Climbers

Once completed, we split into teams for a half field offense-focused frisbee scrimmage. Each possession ends in either a point for the offense (scoring a goal) or a point for the defense (a turnover). At the end of the possession, go back to the start and switch who’s on offense. Loser of the point performed 5 merkins.

After some lackluster attempts at offense, we instituted a game-wide 10 burpee penalty for each subsequent possession that did not end in a goal. The result was 4 straight possessions that did not end in a goal.

Moral of the story: Middle Tooth plays STIFLING defense (and our completion % more than 10 yards downfield was worse than Jayson Tatum’s 3 point % last night).

MOLESKINE: Welcome to three PAX downrange, come back around next time you’re in town!

Also great to see a return of TheShield!

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Brewsday today, first beers on moneyshot! Yours truly will be in attendance, see y’all there!

COT: Prayers for the dearly departed

PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6UTW304bCrgZQ8Tu1aoRpX?si=a7936594a5e148ee

Roll the Dice

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Subway
PAX: Oatmeal, Focker, DrRupp, Toothless, sooner, Pole Dancer, Betty Ford, Esposa, TheShield, Hot Water
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: warm 68ish

WARMUP: SSH, Stretching, Mosey

THE THANG:

Buy in before each roll:
10 SSH; next roll 10 squats; next roll 10 burpees – repeat

Based on dice roll – go to that number station:
And perform 25 reps of each movement

Station 1
Americans
Ranger Americans
HR Americans
High Low Americans

Station 2
Curls
CPRs
Rows
Lawnmowers

Station 3
Lunges
Squats
Seesaw Lunges
Calf Raises

Station 4
Overhead Press
Taint Scrapper
Thruster
Truck Drivers

Station 5
American hammers
Mtn Climbers
Flutter Kicks
BBSU

Station 6
Chest press
Grave diggers
Side Bends
Blockees (my fav :face_with_spiral_eyes:)

Ended with three minutes of Mary ab work

MOLESKINE:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Wings were good; Brewsday May 6th

COT: grateful to get out there on a beautiful Tuesday AM with you all! Thanks for letting me lead.

Holy Week 2025

AO: greenmachine
Q: sooner
PAX: t-cell, Grape, Pep, Matador, moneyshot, Black Lung, Esposa, Betty Ford, Cowboy, Focker
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Glorious and Maundy

WARMUP: dynamic

THE THANG:

“AI can’t make this up”

Palm Sunday – Palm Swap – split up into two groups, line up in plank on opposite sides of the field, last pax sprints to front of opposite line until both lines meet in the middle

Stations of the cross – 12s: star jumps and crunchy frogs; travel is beak crawl/crawl bear; 10 yards

Maundy Thursday – Washing of the feet; stairs

Good Friday – lunge walk and 2 x double plank burpees at 10 yards; 60 yards

Holy Saturday – ring of fire

Easter – up downs to “christ the lord is risen today”

MOLESKINE:
Easter

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Grape is singing in his church choir and he invites you to come see him sing. He’s a tenor.

COT: Matador’s international students event

Mystery Machine

AO: cruelhall
Q: Donkey Hammer
PAX: Pedialyte, Focker, Esposa, Young and Restless, Uncle Jerry, Athena
FNGs: None
COUNT: 7
CONDITIONS: pleasant but moist

WARMUP:
– SSH, GM, WMH, easy jog to pavilion
– Mobility warmup

THE THANG:
– Tabata:
– single leg split squats, decline merkins x 2 rounds
– jump squats, calf raises x 2 rounds
– 5’s: 5 kick throughs with merkins at bottom of hill, 5 jump squats and 5 calf raises at top, Bernie half the hill, run to top
– return to pavilion, lunging suicides with imperial walkers, hillbillies, burpees at the lines
– jog to start, 2 minutes APB to close out

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
handsomizer is coming to the Shire this Friday. Be there.

COT:
Went around the circle discussing marital advice. Communication, loyalty, trust were all discussed.

Fly, you fools! 🧙‍♂️

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Toothless
PAX: Betty Ford, Focker, Topanga (Scott), Pole Dancer, Esposa, Oatmeal, Matador, sooner, DrRupp, Hot Water
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: One more nippy day, still warm comparably. Slippery on the grass though, conducive for injury.

WARMUP:
– SSH x 25
– Air presses x 10
– Michael Phelps x 10
– Willy Mays Hays x 10
– Carrot pullers x 10
– Scorpions x 10

THE THANG: Fly, you fools! :male_mage:

Mosey to tennis courts to the horns and drums of Howard Shore…

Defend Helm’s Deep
– Tag based capture the flag
– 10 x merkins to reset as a defender
– 10 x squats to reset as an attacker
– Mutual tags are allowed
– Downed players can be tagged to reset their count
– Attackers win when flag is captured and returned
– 7 minute cap, swap and play other side

Ride of the Rohirrim
– Rohirrim run across field between baseball diamonds, dark forces of Easterlings and Haradrim tag (a la sharks & minnows)
– Tagged players go back to start after performing 10 burpees, hold plank through next waves until all are tagged
– Teams swap positions and repeat
– Cut field in half and all bear crawl instead of run
– Teams swap positions and repeat

Last March of the Hobbits
– “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” – Samwise Gamgee
– Travel “there and back again” across the field
– Team must always be carrying one man, others are lunging. Cycle men out from the carrying group, cycling man runs to physically tag lunger who joins the carriers. All must be carried at least 20 steps, first full team to get there and back wins.

Destroy the Ring
– Overcome the mental and physical attachment to comfort with 25 burpees

Round table at the Green Dragon (Mary to time)

MOLESKINE:
All fun and games here on April Fool’s Day, evidenced by the ever industrious PAX finding ways to bend the rules to their purposes.

Defending Helm’s Deep went fairly smoothly, a few leaps over the tennis nets and an interesting tagged-but-tossing-the-flag strategy secured the win for both teams. Mutual tagging as a strategy “passed out of all knowledge” as teams fell back on a one-sided tagging approach.

Ride of the Rohirrim was not without incident – very few survivors made it across the fields though there were some very close calls. I’m sure I missed some, but I saw Topanga (Scott) absolutely lay out to tag Pole Dancer before he made it through. YHC managed to sprain an ankle while attempting to cut away from sooner, fulfilling the prophecy of all F3 games resulting in at least one injury. The bear crawl round proved to be far too difficult for the runners, with YHC being the only survivor due to playing dead under Matador after accidentally felling him in friendly fire before crawling to the end when the Eye of Sauron moved away.

Last March of the Hobbits was pretty much an instructional disaster which I will own up to, leaving much room for interpretation. After team 2 took a roaring lead by having everyone carry the one person to reduce the slowness of the lunging, team 1 copied that strategy and flew past during a switch while carrying our lightest member of the party, reminding team 2 that it was a minimum of 20 steps per person which they had misunderstood to mean only a maximum of 20 steps per person before switching. A valiant sprint was made after that reminder, but to no avail.

Almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section, but the Hobbits celebrating with a flagon at the Green Dragon were not as safe as they seemed…someone ripped a loud, juicy fart, inspiring Topanga (Scott) to comment: “Well that was straight from the eye of Sauron.” It was too much for the PAX to take, exercises suffering in quality for several minutes until Focker forced focus with his slow burn reverse leg raise.
Last but not least, almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section. Unfortunately the Hobbits at the Green Dragon weren’t as safe as they seemed…

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– brewsday is TODAY! 4:30p @ 12S Taproom!
– Spring Fling is this Sunday at the Warner parks, shelter #5, families & friends welcome!

COT:
– sooner shared
– Pole Dancer shared
– Focker shared

Grateful for the vulnerability in the CoT, PAX. YHC shared a word about the importance of fun and silliness in our every day lives, and shared appreciation for the PAX joining me in that today.

As always, it was an honor to lead, men. I’ll SYITG throughout the week!

What Piqued My Interest in 2024

AO: greenmachine
Q: Cowboy
PAX: Focker, Michelin Man, Esposa, moneyshot, Grape, t-cell, Cowboy, Canned Heat, Betty Ford, Shania
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS: Balmy You Say? 60 something
PLAY LIST: music.apple.com/us/playlist/2024-cowboy-listen/pl.u-b3b889eHL5zqDp
WARMUP:
SSH
General Stretch OYO – WMH, Good Mornings
Sit Spread legs lean forward – oops the parking lot is wet, darn let’s go to the field

Grab Coupons, 3 total and mosey
Yog to encircle the Mustang at the 50yardline.
Stretch – Sit Spread legs lean forward
Left heel to nuts –
Right heel to nuts
Low WMH – Hands down 2x count IC

THE THANG:
Circle Up – Every 2 reps pass the coupon to the right (quickly modified to every 5). After passing the coupon run to sideline and back. Rounds as follows IC.
30 Squats. 40 Lunges, 50 Thrusters, 60 Kettle Swings (squats)
Elbow Dips at Benches on each sideline bench.
Go to Benches
Elbow dips both or 1 leg
Elbow dips run across when a guy gets there one man runs across the field. When the teams are flipped hold till the 6
Push Ups Bent Elbows

Run to the Stairs at Stands
The PAX holds a plank till their turn.
Crawl Bear up stairs and then run up stands, across, down and back to start
Hold Plank
Rinse and Repeat the stands run.
Back to Star Deck
Mary. Dealer’s Choice

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 25K Merkin Challenge, March mini challenge Merkin Ladders of 10 Per Day, Lean Pax in the last days.
PRAYERS:” for Cowboy’s Friend Richard,

STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE PAX

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Toothless
PAX: Firefox, Cowboy, sooner, Focker, Pole Dancer, Puzzlah, Betty Ford, Esposa, DrRupp
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS: A balmy 30º, truly tropical compared to previous days. Puzzlah showed up in a t-shirt.

PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Tck0cNTHNrevvoRZHrYZ1?si=265835e6546148f1

WARMUP:
– X-Wings aka SSH x 20
– Imperial Walkers x 20
– Dagobah Lifts aka Air Presses x 20
– Stormtrooper Lunges aka Prisoner Lunges x 20

THE THANG – Rebels vs Imperials :darth-vader:

Count off 1s & 2s. 3 rounds of competition to decide the fate of the galaxy.

Round 1 – Blockade Runners
Imperials line up across the parking lot while Rebels begin a lap. Each Imperial must complete 30 merkins and be holding a squat by the time the first Rebels return. Only 1 Imperial may be disabled each lap, and Rebels start each lap collected. Rebels have 8 rounds to break the entire blockade. Switch roles and repeato if time.

Round 2 – Hoth Escape
Rebels are behind the top speed bump, Imperials are behind the bottom speed bump. Rebels must complete a group total of 100 WWI’s per person before the Imperials make it past the speed bump.

Only crab walking is allowed between the speed bumps. Rebels can pay 5 burpees to venture beyond the speed bump and tag an Imperial, who then must then perform 10 burpees. Rebels must return and perform 5 more burpees to tag again. Switch roles and repeato if time.

Round 3 – Hero Battle
Rebels and Imperials face off from opposing parking spaces. Heroes from each side go into the middle and battles the other side’s hero. First to complete the assigned set of exercises wins that battle. Keep track of your wins, plank for the six, and Rebels rotate down the line to face a new opponent after each round.
– Merkins x 50
– Prisoner Squats x 30
– Tuck jumps x 30
– Mountain climbers (2ct) x 50
– Supermans x 50

Burpee Awards

MARY:
Obey the Droid Control Ship (aka Dealer’s Choice) to time

MOLESKINE:
Appreciate the enthusiasm for the theme and hitting the workout with gusto! Personally, I was pleased with the workout given its untested nature!

The blockade runner round was a fan fav, with Cowboy saying “I’m not sure which is worse” between the running and the merkins. Good thing we switched so he got to experience both! Notably, the two 25k Merkin challenge participants on the Imperials’ side were the last blockades standing (Focker & YHC). Defectors were key, as those blockaders who failed joined the blockade runners and were fresh on the laps.

Hoth Escape was equally un-delightful, crab-walking being a less emphasized skill. Strategy was key, but ultimately 100 WWI’s each was too high a goal and the defenders were outmatched both times, only getting about 2/3rds of the sit-ups in. Puzzlah had a sick crab-sprint that left our team scrambling to respond.

Hero Battle fittingly ended with the celebration track from Phantom Menace and Esposa winning his last battle triumphantly. The vibes were good.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– brewsday next Tuesday 2/4, “juiceday” alternative for leanpax taking place at the Turnip Truck in the Gulch
– leanpax has 2 weeks left! Stay strong!
– 25k Merkin challenge (see 1stf) also in full swing. 70 merkins/day for 2025! Ends Dec. 31st 😉

COT:
– Focker and family adjustments with new 3mo
– sooner with wife’s birthday yesterday but sickness and bad kiddo attitudes dampening the spirit
– Pole Dancer with his friends who had a baby successfully after pre-eclampsia and a very early delivery @ 3lbs, prayers for the next month in the NICU and getting home after that

Men, that was fun. Thanks for letting me bring a little gamification even in winter. Hope you all got a good workout through the competition element. As always, it was an honor to lead!

— Toothless :tooth:

Gen Z’s Icy Tears

AO: greenmachine
Q: Michelin Man
PAX: moneyshot, Cowboy, Focker, Puzzlah, Shania, Betty Ford, Mermaid (F3 Knoxville), preacherman, Leather Boobie
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS: quite warm… comparatively. preacherman didn’t even need gloves.

WARMUP: side straddle hops and imperial squat walkers while Cowboy put up the flag.

PLAYLIST: Gracie Abrams. :fire: Michelin Man asks Betty Ford and Puzzlah why Gen Z music is so sad?

THE THANG:

1. First Nations Run. Pass the present (a 20lb ruck plate. Welcome Shania to the world if nashville-rucking) back and the last man runs it back to the front. Drop the present and do a burpee. YHC and AOQ Cowboy seems to keep dropping the present… I think we ran 1 mile.

2. Mosey to end zone. Partner up. One partner runs to 20, does 3 Star jumps, and runs back. Other partner does 100 reps of a series of exercises. We did merkins, WW1s, squats, lunges, flutter kicks, Jane fondas, and then merkins for the 6. Focker noted that the playlist seemed repetitive. Perhaps Gracie Abrams music needs more plot twists like her dad’s TV shows?

3. Do #1 again.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: leanpax. Today is half way! YHC fell off my diet the last two days and his back on today.

COT: pray for Antioch. Several others mentioned.

Lord, thank you for the power and privilege we have and guide us to use those gifts not to build our own thrones but to build your kingdom.