Impossible/Manly/Murder Mile

AO: greenmachine
Q: Focker
PAX: Betty Ford, Toothless, SalPal, Pep, Cowboy, Pole Dancer, Works for a Guy, t-cell, Black Lung, moneyshot, Young and Restless, Esposa, Matador, Shania, Topanga
FNGs: None
COUNT: 16
CONDITIONS: Moist

WARMUP: Drive your car to the workout

THE THANG:
400 meter burpee broad jump :burpee:
400 meter lunge :leg:
400 meter bear crawl :teddy_bear:
400 meter “run” :man-running:

MOLESKINE: -the bear crawl makes the burpee broad jump feel like the lunges
-Works for a Guy unsurprisingly took the crown
-everyone was under one hour!
-coffee, Purity chocolate milk, and Donut Den treats provided (thanks Toothless!)
-one of my new favorite traditions is this horrible mile
ANNOUNCEMENTS: see ya next year!

COT: I think everyone wrestled with their respective higher power during the bear crawls

Middle Tooth Mafia

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Goose
PAX: Toothless, Topanga, Oatmeal, Matador, Esposa, DrRupp, sooner, Betty Ford, LB, The Shield
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Perfect

WARMUP: Willie Mays Hays, Cherry Pickers, Goog Mornings, Arm Stretches, Arm Circles

THE THANG:
– 2 laps native american runs
– 150 Merkins, WW1s, with run between every 25 reps.
– Lunges: 3 trips down and back with 10 squats every 10 strides.
– Circle of Mary, fielders choice, 20 reps max

ANNOUNCEMENTS: nightmoves tonight!

Holy Week 2025

AO: greenmachine
Q: sooner
PAX: t-cell, Grape, Pep, Matador, moneyshot, Black Lung, Esposa, Betty Ford, Cowboy, Focker
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Glorious and Maundy

WARMUP: dynamic

THE THANG:

“AI can’t make this up”

Palm Sunday – Palm Swap – split up into two groups, line up in plank on opposite sides of the field, last pax sprints to front of opposite line until both lines meet in the middle

Stations of the cross – 12s: star jumps and crunchy frogs; travel is beak crawl/crawl bear; 10 yards

Maundy Thursday – Washing of the feet; stairs

Good Friday – lunge walk and 2 x double plank burpees at 10 yards; 60 yards

Holy Saturday – ring of fire

Easter – up downs to “christ the lord is risen today”

MOLESKINE:
Easter

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Grape is singing in his church choir and he invites you to come see him sing. He’s a tenor.

COT: Matador’s international students event

Tabata Tabata

AO: detention
Q: Accounts Receivable
PAX: Donkey Hammer, Esposa, Accounts Receivable, Pedialyte, Deep State, Mistah Mistah, Cocktail, Peabody, Pepsi, Pound Puppy
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS:
Clear and 62

WARMUP:
Side straddle hops
Downward dog
Cobra
Yoga stretches
Imperial walkers
Hillbillies

THE THANG:
Que up the funk playlist (aka 80s porno tunes)

Mosey around baseball loop
Grab coupons and head to playground / grassy hill.

7s on the hill – atomic merks at the top / merkins at the bottom

Tabata round (50sec work / 10sec rest – 4 cycles)
Burpee pull ups
Curl to press
Iron crosses

Mosey back to parking lot
Sprints (atomic merkins) for 5 minutes

Mary:
5 min of round robin core exercises.

MOLESKINE:
Reminder to be intentional with our wives and our families. Engage each other and don’t be afraid to get vulnerable and ask emotional questions.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Cruelhall this Friday is moving to Handsomizer
.
COT:

Back to High School

AO: greenmachine
Q: Pole Dancer
PAX: moneyshot, Pep, Black Lung, Betty Ford, Shania, Esposa, LB
FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
CONDITIONS: Drizzly

WARMUP: Mosey through the field house and onto the track for a lap, dynamic warmups and stretching on the field

THE THANG: reworked exercises back from my high school soccer and track days;

1. Corners!

Run diagonally across the field, corner to corner. Exercise on the corner, karaoke the width of the field to the next corner, exercise. Repeat ad nauseum.

Exercises x20:
– Merkins/Dry Docks
– Squats/Iron Mikes
– Supermans/Lateral Supermans
– WW1s/Diamond Sit-ups

2. Stair Jumpers (stadium steps)
– jump up one stair at a time, right leg
– one stair at a time, left leg
– one stair, both legs
– two stairs, both legs
– three stairs, both legs
– two stairs, both legs
– one stair, both legs

Mosey to the parking lot and 10 minutes of Mary.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: BBQ Sunday, Night Moves in East on Saturday

COT: Prayers for my wife and puppy as they recover from their respective surgeries, folks dealing with storm damage, those on the job hunt.

Appreciate the hospitality from the Green Machine crew!

Playlist: Passin’ Me By Radio
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1E8ENeNzGVJ3Q3?si=1108794c46db4ab3

Mystery Machine

AO: cruelhall
Q: Donkey Hammer
PAX: Pedialyte, Focker, Esposa, Young and Restless, Uncle Jerry, Athena
FNGs: None
COUNT: 7
CONDITIONS: pleasant but moist

WARMUP:
– SSH, GM, WMH, easy jog to pavilion
– Mobility warmup

THE THANG:
– Tabata:
– single leg split squats, decline merkins x 2 rounds
– jump squats, calf raises x 2 rounds
– 5’s: 5 kick throughs with merkins at bottom of hill, 5 jump squats and 5 calf raises at top, Bernie half the hill, run to top
– return to pavilion, lunging suicides with imperial walkers, hillbillies, burpees at the lines
– jog to start, 2 minutes APB to close out

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
handsomizer is coming to the Shire this Friday. Be there.

COT:
Went around the circle discussing marital advice. Communication, loyalty, trust were all discussed.

Fly, you fools! 🧙‍♂️

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Toothless
PAX: Betty Ford, Focker, Topanga (Scott), Pole Dancer, Esposa, Oatmeal, Matador, sooner, DrRupp, Hot Water
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: One more nippy day, still warm comparably. Slippery on the grass though, conducive for injury.

WARMUP:
– SSH x 25
– Air presses x 10
– Michael Phelps x 10
– Willy Mays Hays x 10
– Carrot pullers x 10
– Scorpions x 10

THE THANG: Fly, you fools! :male_mage:

Mosey to tennis courts to the horns and drums of Howard Shore…

Defend Helm’s Deep
– Tag based capture the flag
– 10 x merkins to reset as a defender
– 10 x squats to reset as an attacker
– Mutual tags are allowed
– Downed players can be tagged to reset their count
– Attackers win when flag is captured and returned
– 7 minute cap, swap and play other side

Ride of the Rohirrim
– Rohirrim run across field between baseball diamonds, dark forces of Easterlings and Haradrim tag (a la sharks & minnows)
– Tagged players go back to start after performing 10 burpees, hold plank through next waves until all are tagged
– Teams swap positions and repeat
– Cut field in half and all bear crawl instead of run
– Teams swap positions and repeat

Last March of the Hobbits
– “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” – Samwise Gamgee
– Travel “there and back again” across the field
– Team must always be carrying one man, others are lunging. Cycle men out from the carrying group, cycling man runs to physically tag lunger who joins the carriers. All must be carried at least 20 steps, first full team to get there and back wins.

Destroy the Ring
– Overcome the mental and physical attachment to comfort with 25 burpees

Round table at the Green Dragon (Mary to time)

MOLESKINE:
All fun and games here on April Fool’s Day, evidenced by the ever industrious PAX finding ways to bend the rules to their purposes.

Defending Helm’s Deep went fairly smoothly, a few leaps over the tennis nets and an interesting tagged-but-tossing-the-flag strategy secured the win for both teams. Mutual tagging as a strategy “passed out of all knowledge” as teams fell back on a one-sided tagging approach.

Ride of the Rohirrim was not without incident – very few survivors made it across the fields though there were some very close calls. I’m sure I missed some, but I saw Topanga (Scott) absolutely lay out to tag Pole Dancer before he made it through. YHC managed to sprain an ankle while attempting to cut away from sooner, fulfilling the prophecy of all F3 games resulting in at least one injury. The bear crawl round proved to be far too difficult for the runners, with YHC being the only survivor due to playing dead under Matador after accidentally felling him in friendly fire before crawling to the end when the Eye of Sauron moved away.

Last March of the Hobbits was pretty much an instructional disaster which I will own up to, leaving much room for interpretation. After team 2 took a roaring lead by having everyone carry the one person to reduce the slowness of the lunging, team 1 copied that strategy and flew past during a switch while carrying our lightest member of the party, reminding team 2 that it was a minimum of 20 steps per person which they had misunderstood to mean only a maximum of 20 steps per person before switching. A valiant sprint was made after that reminder, but to no avail.

Almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section, but the Hobbits celebrating with a flagon at the Green Dragon were not as safe as they seemed…someone ripped a loud, juicy fart, inspiring Topanga (Scott) to comment: “Well that was straight from the eye of Sauron.” It was too much for the PAX to take, exercises suffering in quality for several minutes until Focker forced focus with his slow burn reverse leg raise.
Last but not least, almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section. Unfortunately the Hobbits at the Green Dragon weren’t as safe as they seemed…

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– brewsday is TODAY! 4:30p @ 12S Taproom!
– Spring Fling is this Sunday at the Warner parks, shelter #5, families & friends welcome!

COT:
– sooner shared
– Pole Dancer shared
– Focker shared

Grateful for the vulnerability in the CoT, PAX. YHC shared a word about the importance of fun and silliness in our every day lives, and shared appreciation for the PAX joining me in that today.

As always, it was an honor to lead, men. I’ll SYITG throughout the week!

3/31

AO: detention
Q: Winona
PAX: Deep State, Esposa, Mistah Mistah, Pedialyte, Michael Freiburg
FNGs: None
COUNT: 6
CONDITIONS: soggy

WARMUP: stretch

THE THANG: 40 Merkins
40 squats
Native American run around the block
11s on the hill. Merlin and v up
Rowx20
Lungx20
Squatx20
WWIx20
Burpee burnout
Plank it out

MOLESKINE:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

COT:

BEACH BODS 🏖️ 💪

AO: greenmachine
Q: Toothless
PAX: Pep, Cowboy, Betty Ford, Works for a Guy, Esposa
FNGs: None
COUNT: 6
CONDITIONS: Crisp, but enjoyable. Gloomy.

WARMUP:

– 30 x SSH
– 15 x Willy Mays Hays
– 15 x High Knees
– 15 x Carrot pullers
– 15 x Windmills
– 10 x Scorpions

THE THANG: BEACH BODS :beach_with_umbrella: :muscle:

Separate into two groups, one group moves around a 50 yd box while other group busts out reps. Mosey-Shuffle-Bernie-Mosey around the box. All PAX complete all prescribed reps of the following exercises, plank and wait for all PAX in group to finish each exercise before starting the next one.

– Big boy sit ups x 50
– Euro steps x 50
– Atomic Merkins x 50
– Crab Jacks x 50
– Happy crunchy frogs x 50

– Bulgarian Split Squats x 50
– Outlaws x 50
– Dry docks x 50
– Smurf jacks x 50

MOLESKINE:

PAX made it through BEACH B’S, as YHC stressed form as the most important aspect of the workout so we took our time. Surprising how much harder these reps were when focusing on perfect form and not compensation with other muscles! Learned that Esposa has some knowledge to drop surfing and has been on his own Surfing Safaris. Pep really liked the run portion of the workout, and as usual Works for a Guy crushed the reps.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

– AOQ Grow School 3/22, stonewall @ tel:0600-0800
– Merkin challenges continue!

COT:

Prayer requests shared, along with gratefulness for ability to be out and active. Coffeeteeria was excellent thanks to Cowboy’s consistent efforts.

Toothin’

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Goose
PAX: Toothless, Pep, Go Fish, Esposa, Pole Dancer, Tonka
FNGs: None
COUNT: 7
CONDITIONS: Chilly

WARMUP: Willie Mays Hays, Cherry Pickers, Arm Stretches, Forward Fold, LBC

THE THANG:
-Mosey around loop
-Deck of cards: hearts=merkins, diamonds=ssh, clubs=squats, spades=crunches, aces/faces=mosey.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
-Night Moves Thursday
-Q school coming up, Toothless for details

Prayers for Toothless mother n law