Category: Nolensville

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Patriot Games in Nolensville

PAX: NumbTucks (QIC), Ragdoll, Tebow, Nimbus 1500, Mickey Mouse, Mic Drop, Double Bird, Tweety (FNG), Swinger, TV Guide, Hush Puppy, Staples.

12 men all gathered in Nolensville to celebrate the 4th of July with a beatdown taken from F3 Chicago known as the Patriot Games. Here is how it went down:

In light of the Declaration of Independence being signed in 1776 everything we attempted reflected this number:

PART 1
We all began with a 1776 yard run (1.01) miles. (I had to make a point that only 12 came because people were bellyaching about our 4th of July beatdown being at 5:30am rather than 6am…babies) Okay enough complaining by me onto the next routine:

PART 2
We performed the following routines with a partner splitting the exercises unless noted otherwise:
100 Merkins, 100 LBCs, 100 Squats, 100 Mountian Climbers, 100 American Hammers, 100 Shoulder Taps, 100 Flutter Kicks, 100 Calf Raises, 100 Dips, 100 Step Ups, 100 Under Dogs, 100 second bar hang (each), 100 Carolina Drydocks, 100 Leg Scissors…
That equals 1600 how will we get to 1776 glad you asked

PART 3
We bear crawled/crawl beared 100 yards then performed 76 burpees with partner … and that equals 1776 ladies and gentlemen.

We closed the day by reading a “Daybreak Prayer” from a book I have and then gave away a special pass for all who are on the nutrition plan that came to the workout. Have a great day gentlemen!

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Convergence – 07.04.19 – “Our Independence Day”

39 PAX kicked off America’s 243rd birthday at Bicentennial Mall this morning and prepped their bodies for a day of grilled delights, cold beverages, and unbridled patriotism.

QIC: Princess Aurora

PAX: Bad Boy, Bicentennial Man, Big Country, Big Stick, Big Pharm, Black Lung, Blue Mule, Brother-at-law, Care Bear, Cinderella, Crablegs, Dick Whitman, Drago, En Fuego, Harvey Updyke, Hi-Viz, Hot ‘N’ Ready, Keep the Change, Life Champ, Lockbox, Mofomite, Notes, Oregon Trail, Pop-A-Lock, Porcelain, Red Skull, Scud Row, Slater (FNG), Stirrups, T-Cell, Tampa Libra, The Jeweler, Tidballs (FNG), Tiny Dancer, Tool Time, Vector, Waterboy, White Cloud

THE THANG:

After YHC issued a director’s cut of a welcome and disclaimer, PAX took off on a mosey consisting of a head fake south toward Capitol Hill and back toward the main lawn north of the amphitheater to circle up for warmorama:

  • SSH x 15
  • SnL Squats x 10
  • WMH x 10
  • LBAC F/R x 10

Red:

Count off 1-4 into four groups and mosey over to Porcelain’s car to gather some coupons: 6 to 8 ft railroad ties that would serve as team weights. Mosey back over to the lawn with coupons in tow and line up for an Independence Day relay. The alien mothership’s shield has been deactivated, and Earth’s forces have organized a counter-attack. With the firing control mechanism on the four remaining aircraft malfunctioning, the PAX have no choice but to manually deliver the payload to the Court of 3 Stars carillon bells.

In single file, each team must move their coupon overhead in an Indian Run fashion. Once the last man has pushed the tie forward, he runs to the front to receive it and keep moving it along, repeat this process to the midway point. Once at the midway point, the team switches to a position straddling the coupon facing the other direction and pulling it through their legs in the same fashion until they’ve reached the bells. SSH for six, and mission: complete.

Move the coupons back toward the start point and offload to move toward the next phase of the workout.

White:

In the amphitheater, PAX are instructed to find a spot along the lowest level to prepare for a hybrid “escaladder” of pain. Utilizing the Hand-Release Burpee Box Jump (HRBBJ), PAX perform one rep corresponding to the seating level they are on followed by Squats x 4 after the final rep. For each round, you must move back to the first level and complete all previous reps before moving to the next level. Confusing at first, but the PAX are sharp and figure out that the rounds go a little something like this:

  1. Level One: HRBBJ x 1 + Squats x 4
  2. Same as above + Level Two: HRBBJ x 2 + Squats x 4
  3. Same as above + Level Three: HRBBJ x 3 + Squats x 4
  4. Same as above + Level Four: HRBBJ x 4 + Squats x 4
  5. Same as above + Level Five: HRBBJ x 5 + Squats x 4
  6. Same as above + Level Six: HRBBJ x 6 + Squats x 4
  7. Same as above + Level Seven: HRBBJ x 7 + Squats x 4

That’s 84 HRBBJ if you’re keeping score, and the shouts, groans, and mumblechatter were evidence that PAX felt each and every one of them. Sweaty, grassy, and thoroughly warm, it was finally time for some fun on the Hill.

Blue:

At the base of the hill, each of the four teams line up single file for Indian Broad Jumps to the top. Nothing fancy here. Last man broad jumps to the front of the line and all PAX advance in this manner up to the wall. Congrats to team 3 on getting to the top first and just under the time limit imposed by YHC. Grace was extended to allow all teams to reach the wall before the charge back down the hill and to the launch point.

PAX circled back up on the granite map to close it out with A-Mary-Ca. YHC fumbled around with the soundtrack of “America, F*** Yeah” to bring it home, but PAX were finally able to execute a 2ct American Hammer Ring of Fire up to 76.

COT/BOM

MOLESKINE:

It was a really great turnout with all areas of Nashville represented as well as Franklin and Nolensville. Even had the honor of welcoming two FNGs, Slater and Tidballs.  YHC was honestly taken by surprise given the “Slack forecast” put the numbers closer to the high teens. A pleasant surprise to be sure, and a good taste of what’s to come as F3 Nashville celebrates its 5th Anniversary in September.  100 PAX, baby!

BULLHORN:

  • TAPs
    • Big Country and other 4:13 guys as they visit friends and family this weekend. Prayers for safety, good decisions, and a return back to the program.
    • Safety for all traveling PAX and healing for the injured.
  • Announcements
    • July 20 – Potluck Cookout hosted by Porcelain
    • July 23 – Libeery at Fat Bottom Brewing- Crablegs will be leading the discussion on Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism. Reading is not a prerequisite for attendance
    • July 27 – Nightpath – Night ruck CSAUP at Percy Warner.
    • August 17 – Yuck Ruck – Social Ruck/Community Service. Trash pickup followed by beer and fellowship at a local watering hole.
    • September 14 – F3 Nashville 5th Anniversary at Sevier Park – where it all began. Special guests from F3 Nation will be in town, so you don’t want to miss it. Mark your calendars as the goal is 100+ PAX in attendance. Be a part of F3 Nashville history!
    • October 19 – TNCANRUCK 002 – Social Ruck/Community Service. Ruck across Nashville stopping at select breweries and bars to pick up canned good donations and deliver them to Second Harvest. Last year’s event ended with 700 lbs of donations. This year’s goal is 1,000 lbs.

Pleasure to lead you all. Enjoy your holiday and time with friends and family.

PA out.

 

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For Bruce And Country

It’s 4th of July week and 11 PAX gathered by dawn’s early light for a USA themed workout powered by American icon Bruce Springsteen.

But first, preparty: Stats led Staples, Ragdoll, CheezWhiz, and LMP in a mini-Murf.  1/3 mile run around the track with five sets of 5 pull-ups, 10 Merkins, 15 squats. Ragdoll skipped the run, CheezWhiz dribbled in halfway through, and Little Miss Piggy squeaked in a set at the end.

PAX: Inspector Gadget, CheezWhiz, Little Miss Piggy, Stats, Staples, FNG Bob Barker (Jason), Nimbus 1500, Show Me, Mickey Mouse, Tebow, Ragdoll (Q).

I fire up “Born In The USA” and we do a quick stretchy warmup of cherry pickers, high leg kicks, good mornings and toe touches. Then we trot off to the edge of the parking lot.

Thang 1: Cold War Apocalypse
The Yurpee is a #F3Nolensville plyometrics variation of a burpee inspired by Russian Olympic trainer Yuri something-or-other. Handclap merkin + 2 tuck jumps.

In this epic battle of USA vs the Commies the PAX sprint on command from one edge of the parking lot to the other, approx 40 yards, and perform 9 Yurpees.

Then a quick mosey back to the other side of the lot where they perform 1 WWI, 1 American Hammer, and 1 Merkin (American Push-up).

Since this is an Apocalypse, on the next round we do 8 and 2, then 7 and 3, and so forth … I’m sure you understand math.

On the second round Little Miss Piggy says “this is gonna suck”. Don’t blame me, blame the Russians.

Fittingly, the last sprint is to the Boss’s soaring anthem “Born To Run”. We end with 1 Yurpee and 9 WWI, 9 American Hammers, and 9 Merkins. USA wins. Communism defeated. Mosey to the picnic shelter.

Thang 2: Smokey Mountain National Park
In homage to the great state of Tennessse and our national park system, PAX split into 3 groups and each move a picnic table to the grass, aligned bench to bench, spaced about 12 feet apart. We are going to traverse the Smokies.

Each group at their table performs:
– 5 Irkins on the ascending bench
– 5 Box Jumps
– 5 Angle Grinders on top of the table (very little room up there for this)
– 5 Derkins on the downward bench, and
– 5 4-count mountain climbers in between current table and the next table

Rinse and repeat, traversing each table. When a team finished the last table in line, instead of mountain climbers they bear crawl back to the first table.

We’re through hiking the Appalachian Trail, so do another round of all three tables. Air is getting thin at this elevation. Hard to do the angle grinders. Q needs a louder speaker. Can’t hear Bruce.

We’ve run out of time for my Thang #3, which was F3 Baseball. Bummer. So to kill the last 5 minutes we go bear crawl the bridge, just because we can. On the mosey back, Tebow and Nimbus get into a scientific discussion about how it’s harder to breath in the summer because trees are green.

Nameorama / COT
Welcome FNG Bob Barker (Jason). Gosh, the fog of war must have been thick because we thought about that name way too long.

Lifted up our injured brothers as well as those with sick family members. Prayers for a safe and relaxing 4th of July weekend.

Announcements

  • Independence Day CSAUP set for 7/4/19 @ 5:30am. Hero of the Day Workout. There’s been a lot of grumble chatter about the time, but NumbTucks says heroes get up early and so should you.
  • NightPath: free Ruck CSAUP July 27 with F3Franklin. Talk to Third Degree for more info.
  • F3Dads Camp in Tennessee in September!!!

 

 

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HEARTs and Horsemen @ Defiant

Chris Farley GIF

“How many heart attacks does that make?!” “That makes about a Baker’s Dozen there Bob!”

Pre-Party: Kermit with a core-heavy PP led Staples, 3D (YHC) and RagDoll (on a Monday?! What!!!!?!?!) in Plank progressions, WWIs, IWs in a strange cadence, and Toes to Ball. Had to reel him back in as I wanted to Q too…

8 PAX in attendance for the main event: Kermit, Staples, RagDoll, Typo+, SnowBall, BeerGoggles, DoubleBirds & 3rdDegree (Q)

Disclaimer/Warm’o’Rama

  • ShowMe Lap in which no one showed, including the long-anticipated Kermit Girl-Friend…alas, no LMP

Thang.1:

Mosey to back of school and while running a lap around the “heart” YHC explained the concept for today: split into 2 groups and while G1 does AMRAP of the called exercise, G2 run a lap around the heart. But you have to enter and exit the Heart from the same side.

We did:

  • H: Humpers (The Monkey variety)
  • E: Everest (Mountain Climbers)
  • A: Angle Grinders
  • R: Regular Lunges
  • T: Turkish Get-ups

Each lap was ~0.2 miles and took ~1.5 minutes.

black and white heart GIF

 

  • in order to add an ! to the HEART, (or a little s via Staples) we Sprinted through the heart as 2 groups x 1 (CHEEK TO CHEEK!!!!)

Thang.2:

Inspired by Tombstone and the book of Revelations, we did the full-price (no coupons…get it?!)

4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse: (patent pending)

4 Apocalypses of 4 exercises: Burpees, Floating Starfish (each side 1/2), Pull-ups, and IronMikes (each side 1/2)

Exercises A, B, C & D in progressive rounds like this: 10A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1A, 10B, 2C, 2D, 2A, 2B, 10C, 3D (the best round), 3A, 3B, 3C, 10D, 4A, 4B, 4C, 4D, 9A, 5B, 5C, 5D, 5A, 9B, 6C, 6D, 6A, 6B, 9C, 7D, 7A, 7B, 7C, 9D, 8A, 8B, 8C, 8D and done…

Great way to get 55 reps of each exercise completed in a manageable way. Q quizzed the various PAX in attendance of what exercise and rep count was next to keep minds sharp in the thick of the Fog’o’War…

We moseyed back to the lot for CoT but got in a few GMs and Inchworm Merkins for good measure…6:15 already?!

CoT / Counterama / Namerama

What we learned:

  • listen to the counsel of a wise father from the past…Guard your heart, for from it flow the well-springs of life! Pax were exhorted by YHC and Kermit to guard against lust and viewing images that enter the eyes, play in the mind and lodge in the heart. Where your heart is, there your treasure is also…GUARD IT!
  • DoubleBirds is staying after it, and BeerGoggles back in the saddle and doing great! SnowBall even had the gas in the tank to draw Q out during a lap around the heart. Sorry SB for my out of breath replies…
  • Kermit and RagDoll stepped up with some great parties that focused on things not abused by Q already and were much appreciated. Thanks Gents!

PostParty: RagDoll led YHC in DuckWalk and AirSquat suicides of varying rep count and increasing distance. I Hate/Love you RagDoll.

Coffeteeria enjoyed by 4 PAX (even though the supplier wouldn’t even sample his own brew…) while others took off to get their Mammon on: some 2nd F took place including discussions about frequency preference, campers and cabins. Mufasa, watch out dude…you are camping with a manimal. Avert your eyes!

BullHorn:

  • Thanks Typo+ for the coffeeteeria!
  • Continue to keep health issues of multiple PAX in your T&P: Ulysses, Carrot, MicDrop and others I’m sure…
  • Independence Day CSAUP set for 7/4/19. Hero of the Day Workout, stay tuned to Slack for timing
  • NightPath: free Ruck CSAUP July 27 with F3Franklin. Talk to 3D for more info.
  • F3Dads Camp in Tennessee in September!!! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/f3-dads-camp-runamuck-tickets-58879270483

Humbled with the opportunity to sharpen and be sharpened.

– 3D OUT!!!!

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TAKE 2: Death by 50’s

GLOOM FACTOR: it was a beautiful weekend morning!

PAX: Little Miss Piggy, Nimbus, Stats, Swinger, Kermit, 3rd Degree, NumbTucks, Mr. Opus, CheezeWiz, Carrot, MicDrop, Topper, Pocahontas, Old Hickory, TVGuide, Ulysses, Typo+ (QIC)

Pre-Party: 3rd Degree, Nimbus, Staples, MicDrop, Stats, Kermit all enjoyed going PP while doing Bearway to Heaven, CrawlBear Hill, and Dancing Bear Pyramind.

 

Circle up for Disclaimer, WarmUps:

12x Squats

15x SSH

Head to Kermit and LMP’s trucks: Bigguns from Kermit and Teeny Ones from LMP (does that say more about each?).  Grab your Coupon and Mosey up to the PlayGround.  It’s time to have a little fun with your Coupon.

 

THANG:

ALL EXERCISES HAVE 50 REPS.  Each round consists of Legs, Upper Body, and Core.  Run to first Soccer goal and back after each round.

ROUND 1: Squats, Curls, American Hammers (for AH: each side ½ unless you are using coupon, then each side is 1)

ROUND 2: LUNGE (Each leg is 1), Overhead Press, LBC (no coupon, drop legs to right side and do 25, repeat on left side)

ROUND 3: Step-ups (Each leg is 1), Pull-ups, Knees-to-Elbow

 

FINAL TASK:  Mosey back to trucks to return Coupons.

 

 

CoT:

Circle up, counted off, name-o-rama.

 

MOLESKIN: keep these folks in your prayers please:

  • Ulysses son Tucker has Juvenile arthritis.
  • MicDrops’s wife, Allison, headed to doctor to confirm potential arthritis, or potentially Lupus.
  • Carrot daughter has Angelman syndrome and had eye surgery last week.
  • Swinger wife and mom both have health issues.

 

What a treat it is to lead you guys.  You sharpen me and keep me going.  Thank you!

 

TYPO+

 

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Partner Coupon Party – The Pound – 6/27/19

17 PAX: Kermit, Professor X, Staples, Barney, Numbtucks, Mufasa, Old Hickory, Sex Ed, Stats, Show Me, Inspector G, Swinger, Nimbus, Creeper, Cheese Whiz, Mic Drop, Tebow (QiC)

Pre-party led by Creeper

Line drill WARM UP (light pole to light pole):
SSHx10 IC, high knees
SSHx10 IC, walking knee to chest stretch
SSHx10 IC, high kicks
SSHx10 IC, bear crawl
SSHx10 IC, merkins x 10 oyo
then, lunge stretch

GET SOME (w/ partner & 1 coupon/pair):

Partner 1 – farmer carry (two light poles & back, switch arms at the turn)
Partner 2 – 100 WWII’s, 100 jump squats (total w/ partner)
(It was made fairly clear – I wouldn’t say very clear – after starting that dropping the coupon on the farmer carry would mean a 10 burpee bonus; 3 PAX were rewarded)

Partner 1 – kneeling to standing w/ coupon
Partner 2 – burpee broad jump down, crawl bear back (width of parking lot)
(3x each – audibled to half of the parking lot width on the 3rd set)

Partner 1 – Parking lot lap w/ coupon
Partner 2 – AMRAP clerkins
(1x each – time running short)

Partner 1 – AMRAP blockees
Partner 2 – parking lot lap
(1x each – time running shorter)

We finished with everyone together for AMRAP blockees w/ partner, alternating every 2 reps – 2 blockees then 2 reps worth of encouragement for your partner, as many rounds as possible. It was here that Old Hickory broke his coupon. Not enough evidence to charge as intentional on that. But, I think we all know if was an accident or not.  By the way, Kermit is down one coupon.

Announcements:
2nd F – climbing at Ascent in the boro Friday; meet at BW/Pound at 6p; see slack for details
1st F – nutrition challenge led by Numbtucks; Start with a plan this week to clean up your diet; failures result in penalties including burpees and $$ to the website fund; remember, even exercise takes a back seat to nutrition when it comes to overall fitness and health; great opportunity to join in with your F3 brothers for accountability and encouragement; see slack for details

Great work by all this morning.
-Tebow

 

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4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse (correctly done) & more! @ BW

tombstone GIF

Pre-Party: Creeper , check that, YHC, led Staples, Kermit, Barney Fievel and eventually sleepy-eyed and full-bladdered Creeper for a Bridge and a Smidge BC/CB. Props to Kermit for his first BaaS CB Pole to Pole. Way to push those boundaries! We formed up and moseyed back to the lot after Creeper drained the pipe. A funny discussion about the awkwardness of kids that pulled their pants down to their ankles at the urinal when they were old enough to know better ensued.

15 PAX in attendance for the main event: Mufasa, ShowMe, Stats, BarneyFievel, Numbtucks, InspectorGadget, Staples, Creeper, ProfessorX(Respect), GaylordFocker, Mickey, Tebow, Kermit, eventually Tebow & 3rdDegree (Q, YHC)

Disclaimer given while we Mosey to the track:

  • 1/3 mile lap Indian run where PAX in the front carry and handoff Old Glory to the sprinting Indian

Thang.1:

Inspired by the conditions, and Tombstone, we did the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse: (patent pending)

4 exercises with coupons: Blockees, Curls, Coupon Squats, and Flutterkicks with coupon held above body.

Exercises A, B, C & D in progressive rounds like this: 10A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1A, 10B, 2C, 2D, 2A, 2B, 10C, 3D (the best round), 3A, 3B, 3C, 10D, 4A, 4B, 4C, 4D, 9A, 5B, 5C, 5D, 5A, 9B, 6C, 6D, 6A, 6B, 9C, 7D, 7A, 7B, 7C, 9D, 8A, 8B, 8C, 8D and done…

Great way to get 55 reps of each exercise completed in a manageable way. Thanks to some inquiring minds, 6 extra Blockees were awarded.

  • Another 1/3 mile lap Indian run

Thang.2:

~10 minutes of Die of Death (Karma Cube…Craps…not sure yet what to call this still…) Q tossed die to random PAX and whatever exercise and rep was listed, we did. Sometimes we modified, and sometimes PAX tried to modify and bonus Planks were awarded. Eventually, 5 minutes in…we ran out of time.

CoT / Counterama (“15 Pax”, “How many” “30!”) / Namerama

What we learned:

  • We need to focus on first things first…what foundation are you standing on? You have to get right vertically (with the SkyQ and yourself) before you can get right horizontally with your M, 2.0s, Mammon, etc.
  • Pro-tip, don’t ask YHC while on Q “How many?!” because the number might double
  • Professor X has 2 more Xmen at home just waiting to be named…F3Dads anyone? Welcome FNGs Gambit and NightCrawler

PostParty: sleepy Creeper led 10:10:10 Pull-ups, IronMikes (each side 1/2) and proper-form Merkins

happy dumb and dumber GIF

Coffeteeria enjoyed by 5 PAX while 6 took off to enjoy some Nutrition 101 by Coach Tucker: some 2nd F and 3rd F took place

BullHorn:

  • Thanks Barney and Kermit for the Coupons…thanks Stats for the coffeeteeria!
  • contact Kermit re: Ascent 2nd F climbing outing 6/28.
  • Numbtucks to host 3rdF talk on Dude’s Guide to Manhood 6/29 after the Forge.
  • NightPath: free Ruck CSAUP July 27 with F3Franklin. Talk to 3D for more info.
  • F3Dads Camp in Tennessee in September!!! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/f3-dads-camp-runamuck-tickets-58879270483

Humbled with the opportunity to sharpen and be sharpened.

– 3D

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The Burden Run

22 PAX in Attendance : Creeper, Nimbus 1500, Stats, Staples, TVG, 3rd Degree, Old Hickory,  Cheez Whiz, Swinger, Show Me, Numb Tucks, Whoops, Ulysses, Sprinkles, Topper, Double Bird, Mickey Mouse, Pocahontas, Tebow, Little Miss Piggy, Ragdoll, YHC Kermit on Q.

Pre-party…. 

Numb Tucks led 3D, TVG, Staples, Stats, Nimbus, & YHC on a 45 min off the cuff blaster.

Starting off with suicides on the tennis court. Partner up and PAX A suicides 7 laps while partner B planks. Each PAX continues this rotation in decreasing number, finally ending in 1 lap.

It was lovely to say the least. And I have failed to mention that is was already a stunning 98 degrees (J/K 72…) with a negative wind… it was pretty much like walking through warm pudding this morning except we were actually running through it.

Next 15-10-5 DIBs 3 Rounds. Where Im pretty confident that not a single PAX was actually keeping up with whatever they were doing because it would have been nearly impossible with that much MC….

Next was a quick mosey to the small bridge for a quick Bear Crawl (I felt cheated) and down the trail to the semi steep incline where we Crawl Beared up (I did not feel cheated…)

Then we continued our mosey around the pond where there was another speed bump of 50 calf raises. Which are deceptively difficult at 5:30a.m.

Mosey back to parking lot and called it a wrap. Thank the Lord.

Thanks Numb Tucks for stepping up and leading. Next time maybe Stats can get get there on time and he can lead….. :[

Medic: Brought to you by Metallica. History lesson included….

6:00a.m. starts with a quick intro, the fine print details and an impromptu prayer for those seeking The Higher Power. 

WarmUps :

GMs OYO

Willie Mays Hays OYO

11ish SSH’s IC

High Plank (Lifting L&R Arm)

All the while giving a schooling on the background of Metallica and James Hetfields faith, or lack there of, depending on where you stand.

Thang (Burden Run)….

Think of a Indian Run mixed with a Batan Death March, meets a Ruck Sack and a Shovel Flag Carry, yep it freaked me out a bit too.

Its a little hard to explain you kinda needed to be there (TWSS?) but I’ll give it a good ol college try, which is destined to fail like all my other good ol college try’s….

PAX start to mosey as the lead PAX carries shovel flag. Starting Rear PAX drops and does 2 Burpees with said ruck. PAX then sprints to about 10 yards in front of the lead PAX (Carrying Shovel Flag) to provide enough time to drop the ruck and grab the shovel flag before he is passed. Now the new rear PAX continues in line until he reaches the dropped ruck where he then puts on the ruck, drops and does 2 Burpees, then sprints to 10 yards in front of the lead PAX, drops the ruck, and is handed the shovel flag. Rinse and Repeat.

This is the MOT for the entire workout.

Speedbump #1  (The Sidewalk)

50x Jane Fonda’s (I think that’s what they’re called) Lay on your side and raise your leg as high as you can. After 50 roll to your other side and repeat. Numb Tucks started complaining after 4… he was pretty consistent.

Speedbump #2 (The Curb)

25 Incline Merkins… They were more like baby incline merkins because the only incline was the curb….

Speedbump #3 (The Busses)

25 Decline Merkins. It just seemed right. There was a hill, we needed a speed bump to allow others to catch up, and bada bing bada boom.

Speedbump #4 (The Ledges)

I enjoy God’s created natural areas. I also like to pull out a few Sasquats when we can, so there’s that. Also, I enjoy meandering through the woods, so to train for the elevation gains and losses we used the ledges as a stair master.

25 Sasquats

50 Step Ups = (Step all the way up the ledge and back down with both feet, facing the ledge, counts as 1)

50 Step Downs = (Standing on top of the ledge and facing out, step all the way down with both feet and then back up, counts as 1)

Yes, you read that correctly.

Speed Bump #5 (The Cluster ….)

Theres was nothing “OK” about what happened here…

50 Negative Leg Raises

50 Negative WWI

One PAX literally crapped himself while doing one of the exercises. Because it completely disrupted the flow we did a 10 Burpee penalty for that ol messy mess.  That was completely uncalled for, thanks Wiz 🙂

We continued in our reps and a couple PAX broke out with amnesia and could not remember how many frikkin WWIs we were doing to the point that Q got a little irritated with folks inability to remember a simple number repeatedly, so,…  In honor of amnesia we did 10 more Burpees.

Speed Bump #6  (The Parking Lot)

Since now we are honoring things,…. In honor of Little Miss Piggies 16th wedding anniversary we finished the morning off with 16 Ironmikes each side is a half…. cause that makes sense right? After we finished, LMP stated that he is looking forward to 10 more years of marriage, so to honor that…. we did 10 more Ironmikes each side as one.

Thats a wrap.

Post Party – 

There wasnt a Post Party cause degummit everyone was frikkin spent. Or nobody stepped up. I actually forgot that we didn’t do a PP until I started writing this sentence…

Other News-

  • 2nd F opportunity:

We have quite a few. If I miss one I’m sorry so here goes: This coming week after Defiant and after Broken Wheel those who are interested will be meeting at E&B for a nutrition accountability group…. There are rules, goals, consequences, and rewards. Thanks Numb Tucks for leading this.

Next Friday we are doing some climbing at Ascent in M’Boro around 6:00pm. and then food and beer afterwards. If you’re interested hit up Kermit.

In July Stats is heading up another challenge, I forget the deets but check Slack for more info, Im sure we will be seeing some emphasis on this as it draws closer.

  • 3rd F opportunity:

Staples coworker Robert lost his life this week. Lift up Roberts family as they are grieving.

Thank you HIM for burning it out today.  Its a blessing to have the opportunity to serve you guys.

Peace out!

-Kermit

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Old Fashioned Beatdown

PAX: 3rd Degree, Stats, Show Me, NumbTucks, Ragdoll (Q)

Let’s talk for a minute about poor life decisions.

Staying up until midnight the night before your Q because of a work function is a poor life decision.

Drinking too much whiskey at said work function the night before your Q is a poor life decision.

Performing a PT test with 3rd Degree in the minutes before your Q is a poor life decision.

Q did all of these things. I make poor life decisions.

PRE-PARTY AND SUCH
Round about 4:58 I look at the radar and see the rain has stopped and ol’ sparky has moved east, so we’re go for launch. Sitting at low 70’s, humid. Soggy ground. Muddy pavement.

Now here’s how this went down.

I show up at 5:15 to lay down some cones for our running Thang. But 3rd Degree is sitting there all lonely with no one taking him up on his call for a pre-party, sadly unrolling the shovel flag, and shuffling his soggy Deck Of Death from Tuesday’s workout.

So I guilt myself into this thing and agree to 2 minutes AMRAP pull-ups, followed by 2 minutes AMRAP merkins, followed by 2 minutes AMRAP situps. So I blow my arms out on the first two, and get about 90 seconds into the situps and just start laughing because I’m so miserably bad at them.

It’s 5:31 so 3D and I head back to the parking lot to meet up with Statsy and NumbTucks. Show Me pulls in late and parks his big black pickup truck about as far away from the group as possible. We wait for him while he huffs it in from Smyrna.

Disclaimer doesn’t need to include lightning but does include that I drank Old Fashioned’s last night, to my great detriment it turns out. We Side Straddle Hop to 20. We stretch thine legs. We mosey to the track.

THANG 1: Mile Run with Sprint Segments
3x around our humble track is a mile. I’ve placed cones at two segments within the track, marking a distance of approx. 20 yards. During these segments the PAX are to sprint.

We crank out 40 merkins in cadence. And then we run. Plank and wait for the 6 when you’re finished with a mile.

Q is the 6. I blame the Bulleit Bourbon.

They also did not plank for me. Though they did wait, so I can’t complain.

THANG 1.5: Lunge Walk
Must get to the bridge. Bridge is a quarter track behind us, so we lunge walk thata’way.

NumbTucks takes off like a scared kitten in a lightning storm. Says he hates lunges so he wants to get them done fast. Omaha about halfway there because lunge walking is silly. We mosey the rest of the way.

THANG 2: Crawl The Bridge
Simple rules. Bear crawl the bridge. Special request from 3rd Degree.

Turn around and do it again. This time Q says you will Crawl Bear the bridge, but also need to spend some distance Crab Walking it.

All those without alcohol in their bloodstream do Bridge & A Smidge. Go you!

Q requests a 12 count from Stats, because he wants 2 more than 10.

THANG 3: The Liberal Leap
To the tune of the recently-released Armin van Buren remix of Van Halen’s “Jump”, the PAX hold Al Gore position for the duration of the song. Each time he sings “JUMP!” the PAX squat jump.

Song is 3:40 and includes 40 squat jumps. 3rd Degree reviewed it on Yelp! as “Suitably miserable” or “Delightfully awful” or something … he didn’t like it. Or maybe he did. I don’t know.

THANG 4: Timekiller
Back to the pain ground for:
– 10 Under-(mud)doggies
– 10 Derkins
– 10 Copenhagens
– 20 Flutter kicks
– 20 American hammers

NAMEORAMA & COT
We prayed for all our F3 brethren, both present and in absentia. We prayed for strength in our families, and wisdom in career choices, and hope within our relationships of friends and community.

We reminded each other that when you step into the boxing ring, you’re gonna get some punches and bruises. But life takes place inside the ring. Be the man in the arena. Be present. Be involved.

POST PARTY:
Numbtucks, 3rd Degree, and Ragdoll did 12 Yurpees while Stats and Show Me went to snatch my cones (thanks guys).

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thanks to the PAX for their patience with me this morning. I had actually planned for a 2nd mile run and a good deal more merkins but my poor life decisions stunted my capabilities this morning. Thanks for pulling me along and leading the leader. You guys are da’ best.

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4 Horsemen @ BrokenWheel

Pre-Party: 3rdDegree led Staples & Kermit in moving Coupons to the Storm Shelter.

Conditions: Perfect for the Theme, Active Thunderstorm, progressively flooded gazebo with silty run-off and bugs

party anger GIF

10 PAX in attendance: TV Guide, ShowMe, Stats, Nimbus1500, Numbtucks, Staples, Sex Ed, Tebow, Kermit, & 3rdDegree (Q, YHC)

Warm-up/Disclaimer/Extra Disclaimer for Sparky Conditions (F3Corporate waivers were signed in triplicate at this point):

  • 12 SSH IC
  • 13 GoofBalls IC
  • 15 Tempo Merkins IC

Thang:

Inspired by the conditions, and Tombstone quote referenced above, we did the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse: (patent pending)

4 exercises with coupons: Blockees, Coupon Squats, Curls and Flutterkicks (progressively SplutterKicks) with coupon held above body.

I initially wanted to do this progression:

Exercises A, B, C & D in progressive rounds like this: 10A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1A, 10B, 2C, 2D, 2A, 2B, 10C, 3D (the best round), 3A, 3B, 3C, 10D, 4A, 4B, 4C, 4D, 9A, 5B, 5C, 5D, 5A, 9B, 6C, 6D, 6A, 6B, 9C, 7D, 7A, 7B, 7C, 9D, 8A, 8B, 8C, 8D and done…

Instead, in the Fog of War and excitement of the stormy conditions, I whipped out….wait for it….the Deck of Death and we did the 4 exercises based on card number or face value…Aces=11, Joker = 20 of dealer’s choice.

Worked as well, but not as cool. Next time…Next time….

CoT/Numbers/Names

What we learned:

  • Bugs also hate water & bite (it was in the disclaimer)
  • Numbtucks looked like this in the water with his coupon:

inflatable summer GIF

  • Don’t blame me if you get some flesh-eating bacteria from the stagnant water. I’m pretty sure that I said something in the disclaimer…
  • SexEd had some passive aggressive issues with the playlist today and decided to see if the medic can float. It carried on like a champ despite the water-log and is drying out in the car…y’all keep an eye on SexEd!

Coffeteeria enjoyed by all but a few of those in attendance: some 2nd F and 3rd F took place as PAX shared needs and opportunities for accountability.

BullHorn:

  • contact Kermit re: Ascent 2nd F climbing outing 6/28.
  • Numbtucks to host 3rdF talk on Dude’s Guide to Manhood 6/29 after the Forge.

Good work today, OUT!

– 3D