In my sack, there were 21 balls. Each ball had a number and mode of transportation written on them. There was one 5 ball (that we never found), with the rest numbered between 10 and 30. The mode’s of transportation available were Bear Crawl, Crawl Bear, Right Leg Hop, Left Leg Hop, Broad Jump (which we never found…thank goodness) & Crab Walk.
Each PAX got a shot at my balls. One at a time, they’d call an exercise, pull a ball from my sack and huck it as far as possible…most times (Typo and NumbTucks are on probation). We’d then use the mode of transportation listed and once we made it to the ball, we’d do the exercise the thrower selected in the quality reflected on the ball.
I might miss one or two, but we got in some:
SSH
WWI
Merkins
Iron Hulk Modified (1:4 Merkins/OverHead Press)
Burpees
Double Shot of Jack Burpees
Lunges
American Hammers
Swats
Lt. Dan’s
Mountain Climber Merkins
Missing one, someone help me out if you remember.
The mumble chatter was everything I’d hoped for. We burned through our time allotted and went strait to the count and nameorama. Welcome to our FNG (Abby)!
It was an unseasonably warm morning to ring in the New Year with the 5th anniversary of the F3 Middle TN regions NYD Convergence; and, if you ask the 48 (47?) PAX who posted at The Hill, they’ll tell you as much.
Princess Aurora F3Nashville Nan’tan had led the first 4, but humbly handed the reigns over to a couple other Pax as he was DR today.
QIC: T-Cell, 3rd Degree
PAX: Bagger Vance, Big Bang, Bartman, Grisham, Hambone, Numbtucks, & BlueMule came early for a Pre-Ruck and were joined by RazorBack, TheJeweler, Porcelain, HiViz, Funyuns, TampaLibra, Lumberg, EnFuego, Ludwig, OldHickory, HarveyUpdyke, YardSale, Dupree, DillyDilly, FrugalMcDoogal, PumpkinSpice, DeepDish, Creeper, Staples, Stats, Altidore, Sterno, BarneyFievel, SoccerMom, Boyband aka Skidmark, RedSkull (Respect), FloppyDisk, BlackWidow, Umbrella, Brother-at-Law, Shootah, Waterboy, Lump, Braddock (Respect), Spicoli, Stirrups (FNG D’Mish Sponsor), D’mish, & Foxtrot Talks A Lot joined for COT & coffeeteria.
THE THANGs:
After a perfectly executed disclaimer by T-Cell, he led the Mosey around the Baseball and lower football practice-field/track to a Warmorama at the center for a little COP. YHC forgot the speaker to be used for later and may or may not have tumbled down to fetch it…
Warmorama:
SSH
SnL Squats
SnL Merkins
GM IC (Franklin was like…what???)
WMH IC (now it’s getting weird)
Supposedly 19 reps of each, but who’s counting?
THANGs:
PART 1
Line up on football field goal line for the following circuit:
20 Hand Release Merkins
Suicide to 10, 20, 30, 40, and 50 yard line sprinting to each yard marker and backpedaling to the goal line
19 Jump Squats = 1 round
SPOILER ALERT = T-Cell announcing we would do this 5 x in honor of the 5th year of convergence…
PAX start each round together and high-plank to wait for six.
PART 2
Four Corners
Divide PAX into four teams and put one group at each corner of the football field where goal line pylons would be. Place marker in middle of field. Each team is responsible for 100 burpees. Once all burpees are completed, first pax bear crawls to marker and sprints back to tag next man. Non-crawling teammates are planking/Mary exercise until it’s their turn. Audible: OMAHA!!! 2-3 pax start bear-crawling together after about 3-4 individuals went for time’s sake
Participation trophy = advancing to round 3…
3D took over from here.
PART 3
Bearway to Heaven
The song (Stairway to Heaven) is 8:20 (at least the Amazon Prime version by Led Zep Cover band LA Thunder…which was a subject of much MC) and you bear-crawl/crawl bear suicide from goal line to 10, 20, 30, 40 and half-field line markers with decreasing numbers of burpee variation (Q picked Yurpees, as these were invented in Nolensville 😉 )on your way…6,5,4,3,2 = 20 (recognize a pattern?)
Music is nice to take away the pain.
15 Attitude-Adjustment burpees were the buy out as far too many PAX had enough wind to MC the entire time during the song…
PART 4
Hill Sprints
Mosey to the short hill b/w the Tennis courts and football field and sprint fence to fence 4 x. Then, crawl-bear the hill 1x. RnR the 4x Sprints (I was planning to do this until we reached 19, but alas, time waits for only one man, and He ain’t me)
Closed it out with 2MOM.
10 twisting WWIs OYO
Flutter Kicks x 20 IC
American Hammers x19 IC
CoT/Numbers/Names/Christening of FNG
MOLESKINE/BULLHORN:
T-Cell has instituted a monthly program called The Twelfth Man. This month and rotating monthly, a PAX will own sharing leadership lessons and planning an opportunity to hear from local leaders. See T-Cell for more details. Jan. is BadBoy bringing some peeps from The Iron Curtain to share. Deets forthcoming. Check Slack.
Warpath X set for 5am Jan. 12 in F3Franklin. Brentwood YMCA on Concord is launch site.
That also happens to be where F3TheStandard AO is launching this Thursday. Ask BigBang and Funyuns said bring your sack. 4:45-6am. Ruck heavy.
3D Exhorted the group that 2019 can be a year of breaking bad habits in order to form a new, better, lasting foundation and then build on it. Shared the story from the middle of Luke 8 of Jesus setting the man possessed by Legion free from inner chains even though at the time he was able to break physical chains. If interested to discuss more, find me sometime and lets get a coffee or beer. Throughout life, we are called as men to take the hard road, the less-traveled and difficult journey. Whether having to fight the siren-song of the fart-sack, or saying no to the helping of food or drink or show/website you know you should avoid, or having to get up one more time to serve your family, or turn in one more project at work you have no idea what it’s for, we are called to make NO PROVISION for the flesh. And we are already involved in a brotherhood where accountability and encouragement and correction allow us to sharpen one another. Let’s hit the trail and walk down the hard-path together.
PAX: Stats, Staples, Altidore, Lil Miss Piggy, Show Me, Third Degree, Old Hickory, Jinxy Cat, Gaylord Focker, Creeper, & Sterno (QiC)
There was a pre-party at 5:45am attended by Third Degree and Lil Miss Piggy. It appeared to consist of a series of burpees and then a 50 yard sprint. Lil Miss Piggy loves sprints and Third Degree loves burpees so it seemed fitting.
Capri Lap was interrupted when Third Degree informed Sterno (QiC) that the Football Field / Track was available as an AO. Time to call an audible!
Warm-Up/ Disclaimer:
LBACs forward and reverse IC x 10
SSH IC x 10
SJ IC x 10
Good Mornings OYO x 10
Thang 1
Mosey to the starting line of the track for a NO MERCY MILE
Exercises:
Begin at the starting line and run to the first turn (50 meters)
Once you reach turn 1, Bear Crawl to the end of turn 2 (100 meters)
Run to midpoint of back stretch (50 meters)
Perform 25 Squats
Run to turn 3 (50 meters)
Once you reach turn 3, Lunge Walk to the end of turn 4 (100 meters)
Run to finish line (50 meters)
Perform 25 Merkins
Repeat x 3
Thang 2
Mosey to the football field and line up on the goal line for an assortment of merkins and some sprints in between each set.
Sprint to the 35 yard line and perform 35 Merkins OYO, sprint back to the goal line
Sprint to the 30 yard line and perform 30 Carolina Dry Docks OYO, sprint back to the goal line
Sprint to the 25 yard line and perform 25 Werkins OYO, sprint back to the goal line
Sprint to the 20 yard line and perform 20 Clerkins OYO, sprint back to the goal line
Sprint to the 15 yard line and perform 15 Diamond Merkins OYO, sprint back to the goal line
Sprint to the 10 yard line and perform 10 Crucible Merkins OYO, sprint back to the goal line
Sprint to the 50 yard line and perform 10 Hand Release Merkins OYO
7 PAX in Attendance: Tebow, SoccerMom, Altidore, Kermit, Sterno, Stats, & Third Degree (QiC)
5:15 pre-party of 5 Pull-ups, 7 Merkins and 9 Sumo-Jump Squats per round on the minute x 10 minutes endured by 3D & Soccermom (who will be my pre-party partner when this guys goes to Uganda? Applications being sought…)
Warm-Up/Disclaimer:
Jog around parking lot x 1 to let Tebow catch up
SSH IC x 10
SJ IC x 10
10 ISW IC x 10
LBACs & BACs forward and Reverse IC x 10 each direction
30 seconds GM OYO
Thang 1
Mosey to Ball-field Stairs for Partner Stair-7s
Exercises:
Iron Mikes (jumping split lunges/scissor lunges) (1/2, 1)) at the bottom (still makes me think of Punch Out…Classic)
Yurpees at the top
MOT: Partner Broken wheelbarrow up the stairs (both go each round so 6 times each) and Bear-Crawl down the Hill
Mosey around track to Gazebo for an 11 count Copenhagen speedbump requested by SoccerMom…happy to oblige…
Mosey to parking lot to grab speaker for:
Thang 2
Explain Tabata (20 seconds maximal effort of whatever is called, followed by 10 seconds rest) Outline: Sprint ~100 yds, rest, Exercise, rest, back to Sprinting toward the original side of the field, etc. Rinse and Repeat X 2 Songs (8 rounds total per 4 minute song)
We did: SSH, Merkins, Imperial Walkers & Squats to Tabata Songs Playlist played through BT speaker carried back and forth across the field with Q.
Playlist: Smells like Teen Spirit & UpTown Funk (8 minutes total of Tabata)
Thang 3
A nice traditional end to a 3D F3Nolensville Q, the bridge…
“It’s kinda my thing…”
Bear crawl and then crawl-bear the bridge. Always a good time. Starfish to the 6. Counts as Mary, right?! Sure.
Mosey to Gazebo for spontaneous demonstration and 12 reps of Pickle Grinders on top of picnic tables
What?! Over already? The fun was just starting…to be continued at The Forge!
CoT/Numbers/Names
Stats was voluntold by Altidore to lead Post-party so we did a Sunrise Sampler of 12 reps of DIDs + Plyo Benchjumps in honor of the 12 days we have left before SoccerMom heads to lead F3Uganda, and more importantly, be a missionary with his family.
6 for Coffeeteeria provided by Tebow (thanks!)
Moleskin/What we Learned:
I hope everyone had a great holiday. Looking forward to getting back some regulars when they return from being DR or being hit with an Aquaman Trident dipped in poisonous tree Frog Venom leaving them unable to leave the fartsack after HC’ing the night before…hold my nuts!
See you Saturday for another Q!!!!!!!!!!! (Unless someone appeals my signup, I am open to co-Q or relinquish my spot. Otherwise, happy to lead) Stats got some revenge on Altidore by voluntelling him to VQ…
Exhorted the PAX to arm themselves and make no provision for the flesh as delineated in Romans 13 which ends as follows: But put on the LordJesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.
Our gloom and water-saturated beatdowns are helpful illustrations of spiritual battle throughout life where we are called to take the hard road, the less-traveled and difficult journey. Whether having to fight the siren-song of the fart-sack, or saying no to the helping of food or drink or show/website you know you should avoid, or having to get up one more time to serve your family, or one more project at work you have no idea what it’s for, we are called to say NO and make NO PROVISION for the flesh. WARPATH!
Come to Warpath X set for 5am Jan. 12 in F3Franklin. I need 5 HCs to rep F3Nolensville. Come and set a physical fitness marker with me. I am planning on a WarHalf and need a few more brave souls to partner with and HC.
New Year’s Day Convergence 1/1/19 will leave BrokenWheel Closed. Come and join in with F3 regional PAX from Nashville, Franklin and rep F3Nolensville! Deets to come…
Exciting additions and changes coming in 2019 to F3Nolensville! Stay tuned…
14 PAX for a dark and rainy good time: Staples, Kermit, Show Me, TypO+, Griswold (FNG), Mursa, Cheese Wiz, 3rd Degree, Altidore, Stats, Sterno, Creeper, Netflix, Tebow (QIC). We had all the Christmas spirit feels with some Christmas music – with a minor malfunction (thanks, Mursa for the gloom-proof speaker).
3rd Degree and Creeper got in a pre-party of 8 rounds of 5 burpees with a sprint. Well done, fellas
WARM UP jog then,
SSH x10
Imperial Walkers x 10
Squats x 10
Merkins x 10
(2X)
Let’s WORKOUT shall we
Run / politician suicides with exercises:
(Run) 0.5 light pole for 25 merkins (then politician back)
1 light pole for 50 iron mikes
1.5 light poles for 75 mountain climbers
2 light poles for 100 SSH
Mosey to Mill Creek Brewery happy hour:
Bear Crawl / reverse lunge suicides, then repeat with
Crawl Bear / lunge suicides
Happy hour continues:
10-1 reps of:
Apollo Onos
HR merkins
American Hammers
Lots joined in (were guilted in?) for a post party led by 3rd Degree (he likes to party) of 10 pull ups, 9 merks, 8 jump squats, 7 pull ups, …
Coffeeteria at Nolensville’s finest, Mama’s Java (pending E&B completion) with Numbtucks, 3rd Degree, and Show Me discussing the Christmas devotional.
Welcome, Griswold, Typo’s bro-in-law. Love the rake story. Classic Clark Griswold.
Continue to pray for Soccer Mom and his family as they’re about to move next month. Check out amesforafrica.com for more info and to stay caught up. Also be praying for Soccer Mom’s sister-in-law (and newborn baby) as she starts cancer treatment.
16 PAX in Attendance: Creeper, Sterno, Barney Fievel, Tebow, SoccerMom, ShowMe, TapOut, Netflix, ragdoll, Little Miss Piggy, Typo+, Stats, Altidore, Staples (FNG), 3rdDegree & CheezWhiz (QiC)
Pre-party 3rdDegree, Creeper, ragdoll, SoccerMom, Little Miss Piggy, & CheezWhiz @ 5:15AM for a pre-party showing with 3rdDegree leading this jolly bunch of yahoos. We did 5 Pull-ups, 5 Diamond Merkins and 5 Jump Squats per round. We did 10 rounds in 10 minutes (1 round every 60 seconds).
Little Miss Piggy and Cheez Whiz missed the first couple rounds….Cheez Whiz was late ’cause he had a loaner car that wouldn’t start (freakin’ push button starter…I guess it was left on all night), so he had to ad lib and take the car that currently doesn’t have any power-steering (and technically isn’t even registered). Oh well. Good times had by all and a good pre-pump before the official “Thang”.
Warm-Up/Disclaimer
LBACs x 10 Forward and Reverse
SSH IC x 15
High leg kicks (toy soldiers?) one leg at a time ~ 15 sec each.
Let’s Mosey! Let’s get this show on the road….
We ran to the nearby elementary school playground. According to my rough Google maps estimate that’s about 0.3 mile. Good enough for me. Time to do the thang.
There’s a lot of frost on the metal swing sets…this playground gives us a few more options that are closer to the ground doing for pull-ups.
Thang 1: 2018 CrossFit Exodus I’m not an expert in CrossFit exercises, but I was told that a basic routine would include pull-ups, merkins, and squats performed in sequence on the minute for a period of time. So for this version, PAX performed 18 rounds (for 2018…and it happens to be the 18th too) on the minute for 18 minutes. One round includes 5 pull-ups, 10 merkins, and 15 squats. Nice job PAX. We just did 90 pull-ups, 180 merkins, and 270 squats.
Mosey Let’s get back to the park (~0.3 mile). Little Miss Piggy and ragdoll had to take off…ragdoll needed to catch a plane to KC and Piggy went ‘wee wee wee all the way’ to work.
Thang 2: TABATA SICY It’s time for some TABATA work with the ROCKY theme music inspiring us to keep going after pumping our arms up like Popeye. PAX performed 8 rounds (4min) every 30 seconds. A round is 20 sec of activity followed by 10 sec of rest. We rotated through the following exercises 2x.
Sit-ups (BBSU) Iron Mikes Calf raises Yurpees (Yeah. You know it…the Yurpee originated at Broken Wheel, so had to get it in somehow)
Mary Pax performed various exercises on our sixes to give our tummies a burn. Then we did some stretching which ended with “the tebow” stretch to help keep all those tebow muscles loose.
Counterama/Namerama/CoT SoccerMom brought an FNG, Adam, who we affectionately named Staples. Adam works in construction…so ya know…,but did find out during coffeeteria that he actually works in an office (not on-site) and does have a really nice stapler. So that’s nice!
Post-party
Tebow turned 32 today (I think). PAX stuck around for 32 American Hammers in honor of Tebow’s big day. NOICE!
Announcements
Make sure to sign up for Q slots for F3 Nolensville on F3nashville.com under Q Sign up (created a link in this sentence)
F3 WarPath is scheduled for January 12th. 3rd Degree wants people to join him for at least half of it.
Join us at The Pound this Thursday 12/20 @5:30AM led by Tebow. I’m sure it’s gonna be an epic beat-down ’cause Tebow is like the best.
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 ESV
15 PAX joined together this lovely morning to ramble down memory lane for this RETRO themed work out (at least for those of us old enough to remember these things). – apparently Gaylord Focker does not recognize the awesomeness who is Charles Bronson)
Conditions: A pleasantly awesome 47 degrees, and more importantly NO wind. Ground plenty enough wet to make you take notice.
PAX who made it: Ragdoll, Cheezwhiz, (FNG) Jinxy Cat, (FNG) Mr. Opus, Netflix, Creeper, 3rd Degree, Tebow, Gaylord Focker, Stats, Typo +, Soccer Mom, Show Me, TV Guide, and Little Miss Piggy (Q – but channeling Coach Numbtucks for this one)
PAX: who FARTSACKED EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE AN HC: Altidore, Barney Feivel, and Kermit
PreParty: 3rd Deg got it going with Soccer Mom, Typo +, and Creeper; but Mr.Opus, LMP, and Cheezwhiz joined in justa couple minutes late
Warm up: Q remembered to give Disclaimer this time, then channeled the 80s version of Coach Piggy with his polyester BIKE coaching shorts (stop visualizing these long hairy thighs)
Light jog around the parking lot once.
On the line: 20 yards of toy soldiers, butt kicks, long lunge
Circle up: IC baby arm circles x10 each, SSH x 15, Cherry pickers, Tennessee Prom Dates (alternating legs)
Travel to soccer field: Indian Ruck Run (remembering old army days for sure with this one) – Partner up
Carry your partner for this Indian run, switch when you get to the end of the line
Thang 1: Charles Bronson
Remembering this stalwart of manliness is nothing but good for the soul –we give Chuck Norris and Clint Eastwood and others all the props, while this grisly man of iron is often left in the shadows (163 show credits to his name, 11-3-21 to 8-30-03 RIP, Death Wish 1 to 5, Dirty Dozen, Once Upon a Time in the West)
Sprint x100 yds, then army crawl 10 yds. Mosey back to start line. Before starting sprint, PAX perform 50 reps of: (Round 1) SSH, (2) Merkins, (3) Burpees, (4) Little baby crunches, (5) jump squats
Q lost his shorts about 20 yards into each sprint (Polyester doesn’t stay up so well)
Mosey over to playground
Thang 2: Sally Merkin’s
Dang Moby still can’t figure out if he wants to bring her up or down – Merkins done on cue to the song (Q found out this week that this is a common song to use in the army for merkins so it again left him reminiscing about boot camp)—OMAHA!!!! With about 45 sec left, it became apparent that all of us Sallies were hardly able to get our jibblies off the ground, so Q switched it to squats.
Thang 3: “Top Gun”s
Of course a retro themed workout couldn’t have an arm pump by any other name…
Hail Mary (triceps) – Partner Up (cause everyone needs a Goose to help them get the job done). Maverick does 11 Coppenhages (dips) on the ledge with feet elevated on Goose who was in plank position, then switch; Rinse/repeat with 1 less rep each round until complete
Underdog/Plank Jack 11s – Occasionally, Maverick gets all bent out of shape and goes at it alone, so each PAX to himself for 10 Underdogs/1 Plank Jacks, then work way down to 1 Underdog/10 Plank Jacks.
Mosey back to the vehicles
Mary: “P90x Abdominals”
Okay, so this isn’t from the 80’s but it is retro from a while back. Remember that abdominal routine from P90x that made ya burn but got really monotonous and boring…this Mary routine relives the memories…
Circle up on your six: IC V-position bicycle fwd x15/reverse x 15, V-position Luge (in/outs with knees to chest) x10, Hello dollies x 10, then flip over tall plank for BirdDogs (opposite arm and leg raise) x 15
CoT: Numbers/Name-o-rama including FNG naming – OH MY! ShowMe comes through with a clutch performance today naming Mr. Opus (isn’t it supposed to be Mr. Holland?! Who cares! This is better), and 3rdDeg pulls out Jinxy Cat for us.
Closed with a sermon by Q ?—been thinking a lot this week about how we are called to simple belief in Jesus. John 1: 1-13, John 6:27-29 . Don’t put the pressure on yourself to have some “radical faith” but rest in the belief and faith that God has granted you. It is a gift of God. Just receive it and let it transform you.
2ndF- being considered for after New Years – The Casual Pint of Smyrna
13 PAX in Attendance: Creeper, Tebow, TV Guide, SoccerMom, Altidore, “Judge Judy” (FNG Nathan, Sponsored by Creeper, way to EH man!), MuRSA, Numbtucks, RagDoll, Kermit, Barney Fievel, Stats, & Tercer Grado (Spanish for Third Degree) (QiC)
5:15 pre-party solo showing of Dancing Bear Pyramid by SoccerMom. I came in midstream and completed the back half of the pyramid and 7,6,5 pull-ups for penance. BG Music today provided by AudioSlave, Tedashii, LeCrae, Trip Lee, Foo Fighters, and others.
Warm-Up/Disclaimer:
Jog around parking lot x 1
SSH IC x 15
30 seconds GM OYO
The Thang
F3Nolensville Tour: Mosey ~2.5 miles total with various speedbumps. Whenever you finish a set and are waiting for the 6, Freddie Mercury (bicycle theme, get it?) We have to show our FNG what F3Nolensville is all about… We visited: NUMC and crawl-beared up the parking lot exit ramp, next to the new storefronts being built at the corner of Rocky Fork/Nolensville Rd. across from the BrokenWheel Cemetery and busted out 20 and 15 inverted rows on the hand rails with 10 Lt. Dangers in between. Up and Mosey to the Amish Feed Mill for some Parking Lot Shuffle with suicide sprint and tap the curb with fingers, politician back and perform 2 merkins in the adjacent slot all the way around the lot. Next…it’s kind a my thing and we are right there so….BEAR CRAWL AND CRAWL BEAR THE BRIDGE! Welcome to F3Nolensville Nathan… GET SOME! (Amazing to see the growth with this particular exercise. Y’all are killing it!) 5 squat bonus for any stoppage along the way. Next, mosey to the parking lot of MillCreek Church of Christ for some parking lot line jump variations waiting for the 6 to keep the heart rate up. Next, Mosey to the parking lot of Powder Buy the POUND (they basically invited us) for some Clerkins, Derkins and Flutter kix till the 6. Recover and Mosey to the Mill Creek Brewery parking lot where a Volley Ball Net had been previously set up by Coach Numbtucks for some drills. We faced off with a partner and Jumped to block then side step and R&R down the length of the net. Then boxing training began with duck under sidestep of the net with jab/cross combo back and forth down the length of the net. I counted 6 net touch violations after I finished and so we did 6 penalty Yurpees as Coach would want us to. Time is slipping away so we moseyed to the Pound parking lot where we did a Sunrise Sampler till the 6 (10 Derkins, Irkins, Dips, Benchjumps) and then YHC forced the PAX to endure the mandatory post-party of Pull-ups to failure (proud of the effort! Keep this number in mind as you may see this again…Gauge the growth)
Tour de Nolensville part 1 complete!
CoT/Numbers/Names/Christening of FNG
Moleskin/What we Learned:
I definitely missed being out in the gloom with you men, my friends, and am glad to be back
Great to meet another FNG via Creeper: “JudgeJudy”
See you Saturday for another Q!!!!!!!!!!! (Unless someone appeals my signup, I am open to co-Q or relinquish my spot. Otherwise, happy to lead)
Keep NumbTucks and his fam in your prayers as he leaves on a trip to Pittsburgh for his wife’s doctoral degree conference and then to the Bahamas for a getaway
Exhorted the PAX to consider and contrast the mindsets of Dickens’ character Scrooge from a Christmas Carol: a “squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner!” with Jesus Christ who, in Phillipians 2:5-8 is described as follows: 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,[c] being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” This is the bad and good news of Christmas…each one of us is naturally a Scrooge, a grasping, proud and covetous sinner, but when transformed by grace we can have the mindset of Christ, no longer grasping but giving in humility. This happens by faith and if you have questions or want to talk more about this, reach out to me and we can get a beer or coffee…
15 PAX shivered over to The Forge this morning to celebrate Christmas Vacation in the snow and cold.
But first… Preparty: A disappointed Little Miss Piggy and soggy CheezWhiz were bummed to discover no one had planned a preparty, so they made one up. It looked like lunges and toy soldier kicks.
PAX: Nimbus1500, CheezWhiz, Little Miss Piggy, Netflix, Two Star, NumbTucks, Show Me, Creeper, Tebow, Altidore, Typo+, MicDrop, TV Guide, Stats, RagDoll (QiC).
Today’s theme is the 1989 cinematic classic Christmas Vacation, and we’re gonna channel our inner Griswold for the hap-hap-happiest beatdown ever.
Mosey:
At 35 degrees with flurries flurrying we hit the pavement to the tune of the movie theme song. We keep it merry with a little winding and jolly zig zagging.
Warm Up:
Simple warm ups this AM. LBAC’s, forwards and backwards in cadence. Stretch out the legs with some cherry pickers, toe touches, and that move where you reach your arm all the way over your head and down your opposite leg towards your toes.
Ruby Sues:
Remember when Clark’s niece showed up and her eyes weren’t crossed anymore? “She falls down a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal. I don’t know.”
We did about 10 Ruby Sues. They were kinda silly.
From standing position, fall down the well: Drop to the ground into a descended Merkin position.
Then get kicked by a mule: Rise to atomic position and do 4 mule kicks -(each leg straight back, 2x each).
Thang 1: Cut Down Your Christmas Tree
We gotta select the perfect Griswold family tree. Partner up and form a line. Here’s the routine.
First you give your tree some love. Both partners Al Gore for a 5 count.
Next you cut down your tree. Perform 10 Lumber-Plank-Jacks. That’s a Plank-Jack in diamond position (both arms together like the trunk of a tree). I know, it’s a stretch.
Finally you carry your tree back to the car. Partner 1 carries Partner 2 approx 20 yards then mosey back to starting line.
Flapjack this nonsense, alternating partner carries until Q calls time.
Thang 2: Griswold Family Dinner
Nothing could be quite as awkward and miserable as Christmas dinner with the Griswold’s … except maybe for bear crawling through this wet sludge. But it wouldn’t be complete without Snot the dog tearing across the dining table chasing a loose squirrel.
So here’s the routine. Partners form a line at one end of the parking lot and then:
Partner 1 bear crawls the width of the parking lot (approx 60 yards) while
Partner 2 runs like a dog the width of the lot and back, until he’s caught up with the bear crawling partner at which point they switch, and
Partner 2 continues bear crawling the width of the lot while
Partner 1 runs like a dog, the remaining width of the lot, back to the opposite side and finally back to his bear crawling partner.
Flapjack the above until partners have collectively bear crawled the entire width of the parking lot and back.
Rinse and repeat this family dinner, except swap bear crawls for lunges. Then a third time with crawl bear.
Round about this time we mosey towards the playground until we make a pit stop for…
Sally
This has nothing to do with Christmas. This has everything to do with giving our arms a break for 3 minutes and 26 seconds because we’re gonna need it.
To the song Flowers by Moby, starting from a squat position on every line “Bring Sally up”, rise to a stand, and on every line “Bring Sally down” lower back to a squat.
There’s more squats than stands, I’ll tell ya that right now. It’s good fun. Thanks Stats for the inspiration on this one.
Thang 3: 25 Days of Merkins
Upon passing through the playground fence, whence we PAX did so commence, a Merkin fest so ripe with pain we thought the Q had gone insane.
To ease the pain, between each 25-rep set of Merkin variations we recovered by recalling one of our favorite Christmas Vacation quotes.
25 Merkins
25 Army Crawl Merkins
25 Derkins
25 Spider-Man Merkins
25 Ranger Merkins
At this point Coach Numbtucks was in full force. Something about his grandma doing push-ups better than Tucker’s present form. Show Me lost his Christmas spirit. Netflix said he hated the Q.
We forge ahead…
25 Diamond Merkins
25 Merkin Jacks
25 Travoltas
With mutiny drawing nigh we moseyed back to the parking lot.
Nameorama / COT
Appreciate your prayers for my (RagDoll’s) family this week as we celebrate the life of my 93 year old Grandpa. We had a safe trip to Nebraska today following the workout and looking forward to some time with family.
Announcements
For those partaking in the Advent devotional, there’s a tentative coffeeshop discussion to chat about the book scheduled for the morning of December 20th (following workout at The Pound). Stay tuned for more details – NumbTucks on point.
Always a pleasure to lead you gentlemen. Thanks for hanging out this morning – see you soon!
12 embarked on an Al Gore themed workout in the gloom. 5 came for a one-legged burpee pre-party (8 on the min). Thanks to 3rd Degree suggestion we had a leg/ab focused workout.
Today I pulled out my inner coach from childhood and we got to work (3rd degree encouraged the inner coach for sure). This morning it was all about Al Gore, and there was an emphasis on form over speed.
Warmup:
Up Straddle Hop (one leg) IC X 20
Squats IC X 10
Arms Circles IC X 12 (forward and backward)
WMH OYO
** At this point the Q revealed a proper Al Gore since we would be doing this most of the morning if you are waiting you need to be in Al Gore
THANG 1: Iron Hulk
with a ratio of 1:4, we did Merkins: Air Presses, starting with 1 Merkin: 4 Air Presses until we id 10:40.
THANG 2: Leg Wrecker
After numbering of in 2s, the 1s lined up 25 yards from the 2s facing each other. The 1s LT Dan to the 2s while the 2s hold Al Gore. Once 1s reach 2s the 2s LT Dan back to where 1s began. everyone stops and does Hydraulic Squats (10). Then rinse and repeat Lt Dan and Al Gore. Everyone does 10 Imperial Squats, rinse and repeat but do duck walks, with more Imperial Squats.
** in the middle we did some attitude adjustments with 10 one-legged burpees.
THANG 3: Swing Set Failure
After the legs are nice and warm we ran over to the swing set, the goal was 3 pull-ups with 1s while 2s performed monkey humpers, but halfway through the ice on the swing set made it difficult so we switched to Carolina Dry Docks, we performed around 10 rounds.
THANG 4: Captain Therkin
With a ratio of 1:4 we did 1 WW1: 4 American Hammers (each side is .5). After each “round” you do 5 Merkins. We went to 10:40 (Abs were hurting). At the end, we held Al Gore to finish our time.
Q Encouragement: Ephesians 5:6-14
A reminder to live in the light. It hurts to expose weaknesses and bring them into the light, but remember there is joy once we do. We are here for one another no matter what is going on.
Christmas Party is tomorrow at 601 Mer Rouge Dr 37135 at 6:00pm!!
