Backblasts

It was a crisp 59 degrees last Saturday morning at Stonewall. There were 12 brave men, plus BaggerVance who joined after a shitastic run/ruck that left the Kroger bathroom violated.

The night before this workout,  I was researching heart rate monitoring devices,  and had a great idea for the workout I was about to Q.

The goal was to achieve max heart rate in the first 15 minutes to warm up.  Then spend 35 minutes in a cross training circuit with 6 different exercises, and finish with 10 minutes of Ab work.  This workout was inspired by scientific studies and theories from a man name Dr. Orange.  Don’t bother trying to find him on the World Wide Web.  This guys stuff can only be found at local libraries on microfilm. 

The workout went pretty much to plan, with the exception of a few fumbles that I will most certainly point out as I know some interested eyes will add comments if I don’t volunteer. 

To begin, my Q’ing skills showed a little rust. I started with the disclaimer to appease the bosses and then jumped into  “jumping jacks”….excuse me! Side straddle hops. It took me a few seconds but eventually I got my “one, two, three” on and we were off.

25 Ssh’s

13 windmills

13 baby arm circles forward and then backward

15 imperial walkers

15 hillbillies

10 count Willy Mays hayes

10 count quad stretch each side

The pack was led on a 4 minute light jog around the perimeter and thru the basketball court and back to the parking lot

We mosey over to the parking lot entrance and I begin to explain the goal of the first Dr. Orange Workout.

The goal was to achieve a solid warm up based on your personal max heart rate. Currently, my max heart rate calculated by the Doctor was 175 beats per minute.

The goal was to progressively run from Granny White down to Leland on side street increasing heart rate over a 6 minute progression. The Doctor told me that a good jog would get most people to 65-70% of max heart rate. So that’s where we began.  Each member was instructed to push themselves on each minute mark attempting to go from 75% rate up to 100% rate by the sixth minute. It was up to them to run at a pace that felt like they were progressing their heart rate up. The Jeweler was the clear alpha in this excercise. Granted, it was not a competition against others but rather  with yourself. I assume you would want to know who was the one who dominated.

We finished the warm-o-Rama and moseyed over to the covered pavilion.

Now the confusing part. The workout.  Dr. Orange had specifically told me that building muscle was essential to good health and using weights was necessary to do that. He also said it was important to keep your heart rate at a certain level to burn fat.

The goal for the workout was to complete 4 rounds of 6  stations and  to stay somewhere @ 85%  of max. Heart rate.   Each station lasted 1 minute  then we switched quickly and began the  next.

1st station – deep squat with kettle bell (preacher squat)

2nd station -forward twisting lunge with barbell held with both hands in front

3rd station – standing on toes, jump switch and do arm curl with dumbbell (Princess Aurora was confused  mentally and with his muscles on this exercise)

4 – over head press with weight while slightly squatting with back straight pressed against wood beam.

5 – picnic table dips- only do 10 during one minute. Goal was slow and deliberate movement on each one lasting 6 seconds.

6- one push up – this was to take exactly one minute. Goal was to go down as slow as possible and then back up as slow as possible. This was hard

We paired up, and approached each station with a partner and began.  PA and I started with Preacher Squats.

It was a slow and steady grunt fest and coupled with no music it was quickly a grind.  Mid way thru Dr Orange decided to throw a curve ball and sent the local trash man toting and dragging on an unfiltered Marlboro Red.  He decided to change out the trash cans in the pavilion and took his sweet time.  The smoke he exhaled began to fill our lungs and provided increased heart rates and a cool, burning sensation. . Bagger joined soon after and let everyone know that he had shit himself on his run and felt bad for the janitor at Kroger.

We finished the 6 station drill at supposed heart rate of 90% as the last minute I announced they needed to push themselves harder.

We circled up in the parking lot and each member led their ab exercise for a 15 count.

Finished with Ball of Man in prayer.  PA was like a poet. His enunciation was majestic.  And he masterfully and effortlessly closed out our science based exercises with words from the heart.

Amen.  And thanks for opportunity to lead.

FtTal

3 HIM came out for an OTB boot camp so they can cross the Ironclad finish line of 40 posts.

PAX:  Crawlspace, PA (co-QIC), Vector (co-QIC)

Conditions:  40 degrees, practically balmy

Vector:
Mosey around to the upper parking lot for the

Warm-o-rama:  

Imperial Walkers x 15
Reverse LBAC x 15
Overhead Squats x 15
“Normal” Merkins x 10
Cherry Pickers x 15
LBAC x 15
Air Presses x 15
Dry Dock, Carolina Style x 10

First Round:

DORA –  50 Dips, 100 LBCs, 150 Squats while 1 or 2 PAX runs around traffic circle

Playlist – Comprised of the Cheesiest Tunes from 80’s Training Montages (It was Cheese Whiz x 10, my friends)

Eye of the Tiger – Survivor [Rocky III]
Theme from Rocky – Bill Conte [Rocky . . . duh]
Far from Over – Frank Stallone [Staying Alive as well as from one of the classic SNL skits from the 80’s about male synchronized swimmers:

The Final Countdown – Europe [just ’cause]
Burning Heart – Survivor [Rocky IV]
You’re the Best – Joe “Bean” Esposito [The Karate Kid]
No Easy Way Out – Robert Tepper [Rocky IV]

Second Round (PA):

• Pull-Up Reverse Pyramid – 10-8-6-5-4-3-2-1
• An attempt to do pull-up hold at top, but some HIM (cough, cough . . .me) failed that one miserably.
• Jacob’s Ladder – Bernie Sanders up the back driveway to main lot, clerkins at the top, run back to bottom increasing reps to 7

Mary: 
[10 burpee penalty as shovel flag had fallen over]
Alabama Prom Dates x 20
Right and Left sided Leg Lifts x 20

COT:

• Tonight:  Need any last Ironclad F2 or F3 credits (or not, the fellowship is still good for you)?  Meet us at Edley’s in Sylvan Park at 2000 for beers and some Q Source.
• Warpath 4-13-2019 in Franklin
• Gauntlet 5-4-2019 with Nolensville HIM
• T-shirt order for F3 Nashville open now.  Ironclad and Revised Scorpion to come soon.

Thanks to PA for creating Ironclad and pushing us to be better.  Has been hard work but definitely see the benefits — more comfortable being Q, stronger, can now tolerate some running, glad to have tried out new AOs and met more HIM.  Highly recommend doing it next go around if you weren’t able to this time.

Vector