Author: Jesse Poarch

Penned by Aristotle

QIC: Aristotle
PAX: Noble Virus, Scraps, Schnitzel, NPR, Yosef, Nuggets McPatty, Grohl, Iditarod
Weather: Mid-20’s and windy

9 PAX grunt and sweat on an adventure through history via Bill and Ted and learn to ‘Be excellent to each other.’

Long warm up lap around the Square –shake things up by going clockwise.

Circle up for short WOR:
SSH x 20 IC
WMH BAC x 10 IC
GMs RBAC x 10 IC

The Thang:
Mosey to the parking deck between Walnut and Maple.

YHC explains the basic plot to ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure’ for the few poor souls who have never seen it. Declares exercises will loosely relate to the military historical figures they traveled through time to kidnap and pass their history test –in order to save the world through the inspirational music of the Wyld Stallyns.

Excellent! [Enthusiastic air guitar]

Round 1: Napoleon Bonaparte
Starting on the bottom floor of the deck, keeping all things low to the ground like our French warrior-Emperor.
Elevens – Squats and Mericans, but Bear Crawls in between.
Much grunting by PAX. Bear Crawls = Waterloo

Round 2: Genghis Khan
Travel back to 1209 to rampage like the infamous Golden Hordes.
Escalator (of sorts) between each level of the parking deck, sprinting in between each one.
PAX were instructed to yell out random exercises. YHC picked the loudest one, and all sprinted to the next level:

Level 1: Burpees x 10 OYO
short sprint
Level 2: Lt. Dans x 20 OYO
long sprint
Level 3: Overhand claps x 25 IC
long sprint to the top due to time

Round 3: Joan of Arc
At the top, on your 6 for a full view of the sky. Go back to 1429 to share Joan’s divine vision to lead the French army to victory over the English.
MARY/Ring of Fire/choose your own ab exercise
PAX were encouraged to ‘Be excellent to each other’ in their choice of ab smokers:

Iditarod: Flutter Kicks x 20 IC
Yosef: Crunchy Frog x 10 OYO
Nuggets: LBC x 20 OYO
Scraps: Crab kicks x 20 OYO (a move of Scraps’ own creative invention)
Noble Virus: Freddie Mercury x 20 OYO
Grohl: WW1 x 10 OYO
NPR: Hello Dolly x 20 IC
Schnitzel: American Hammers x 20 OYO
YHC: Mosey back to Courthouse for all to count-off whilst planking.

COT and Prayer for all to be excellent to each other by remembering history, and through the Spirit doing the Greatest Commandment and the second one just like it.

QIC: Yosef
PAX: CDL, Aristotle (and friends), Iditarod, Noble Virus, NPR
Weather: 23 degrees F, clear, no wind.

6 PAX posted for an education on some important historical people.

Warm Up lap
WoR IC
X20 side straddle hops
X10 slow good mornings
X10 slow willie mays hayes
X10 high knees
X10 butt kicks

The Thang: Mosey to the long side of the parking lot, introduced PAX to Wilt Chamberlain. In honor of his 100 point game, PAX completed the following:

X100 LBC’s
Sprint 100 yrds (length of parking lot)
X100 squats
100 yrds
X100 swim kicks
100 yrds
X100 lunges (50 per leg)
100 yrds

Mosey’d a bit to shake everything loose and then circled up to introduce PAX to Bruce Lee, and his workout.

x20 American Hammers
x20 LBC’s
x20 toe touches
x20 Crunchy Frogs
x20 heel taps
x20 swim kicks = 1 set

Full Bruce Lee is 6 sets, but we only had time for 3 sets.

Moved on to Johnny Cash, and his Ring of Fire:

PAX circles up and gets into plank position. Gave 3 pax a choice of their favorite ab exercises. The results were shoulder touches, bicycles, WW1 situps. All Pax held plank, while pax one at a time completed all three exercises x10 reps, and then resuming plank while the pax to the left goes, until the circle is complete. It just keeps on burning.

Mosey back to start.

CoT & BoM.

QIC: Yosef
PAX: Aristotle, Iditarod, Papa Juan, Schnitzel
Weather 5 degrees F, Wind: 0.

T-claps to pax for posting despite brutal cold and icy/snow conditions.

Warm up lap
WoR:
Side straddle hops x15
Extra slow good mornings x10
Willie Mays Hayes x12
Lt. Dan’s from one curb to the next, approx. 10 yards.

To keep Pax warm and dry, we went on a Mosey tour of Gateway Island and that which surrounds it.
1st Stop: The Island. Partner up and one stays and does dips on the planter, while the other partner runs to the first building and drops 10 Merkins. Runs back. Switch. Then partner runs to gazebo and drops 20 Merkins, runs back, switch. A good little triceps toaster, and kept the hands dry.
2nd stop: The Crossroads. MC ensued regarding Bone Thugs. We had no harmony. Crossroads had a particularly dry patch, so 25 squats, 50 LBC’s, 20 Russian twists (or American Hammers), 15 burpees.
3rd stop: The playground. WWI sit-ups on the picnic tables while PAX takes turns doing AMRAP pullups on the monkey bars.
4th stop: The Crossroads. Short on time, so 25 side straddle hops and depart.
5th stop: Finish, CoT and BoM.

Bullhorn: Temps should warm to above freezing for next week, so don’t be a sad clown. Put on your discipline britches and mosey on down to the Square for a workout.

QIC: Yosef
PAX: Scraps, Iditarod, NPR, Aristotle, Schnitzel (Irish Goodbye)

PAX posted for unseasonably warm temperatures in the high 50’s for a heater.

WAR: Warm up lap, 10x side straddle hops, x11 good mornings, x11 willie mays hayes, x10 big arm circles forward, x10 reverse, x10 imperial walkers, x10 hillbillies.

The Thang

Focus for today was muscle failure. QIC wanted to ensure no one, including himself, felt perfect.

Bill Withers’ “Lovely Day,” plank the song, Merkins on Lovely Day mentions, which are many.

Ran around Gateway Island, stopping twice to pitstop for some LBC’s (x30), Burpees, WWI’s, and Merkins (all x15)

Returned to meeting area and completed 400m repeats, for time. PAX must complete lap within 75 seconds, or 1min, 15 secs. Failure to do so results in group repeat. Repeat 6x. Scraps agreed to be the standard by which we were judged, and he did not disappoint. No repeats were necessary. Schnitzel said his Irish Goodbye’s after lap 3.

Finished with an old punishment Yosef’s pops liked, hold arms at a 90 degree angle (straight out) for 5 minutes without rest. Failure results in punishment. Success results in strong shoulders and upper back, but there is much pain in between. MC was high to distract from the undertaking, and we learned much about parenting styles from Scraps and Iditarod.

COT and BoM. Reminded PAX that perfection is impossible, and makes Christ’s sacrifice for us pointless. But that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to exemplify Christ to those around us.

Bullhorn: Despite high temps, many fartsackers. Don’t be a sad clown, come get in shape. Sign up to lead a Q if you haven’t in a while.

QIC: Scraps

Pax: Aristotle, Iditarod, Yosef, Nuggets O’Patty (Tclaps for posting for his 2nd straight workout), Seagull, NPR, Mr. Roboto, Noble Virus, Grohl, Schnitzel (who bounced after the Beast).

WoR: Warm up big lap with politicians, side shuffle both ways, bear crawls and crawl bears.

13 Good Mornings

Some Willie Mays Hays w arm circles
Some Imperial Walkers
Some Hillbilly’s

The remainder of this post is in Scraps own words:

(Alternative) Christmas Workout

Christmas is not about jingle bells and Santa Claus.
Its about a Divine Savior taking on flesh so he can crush the serpent and bring life to his brothers and sisters.

SOOOOOO…

We started with the Beast (6 excerices, 6 reps, 6 times- 666). Sprint 25ish yards in between. Exercises were Merkiins, Squats, Burpees, Baby Crunches, Dips, Shoulder Touches.

By the end of the exercise, we all hated the beast…and longed for a savior- MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

We then explored the mysterious humanity & divinity of the Christ child.

“Tunnel of Love” reminded us that Jesus was physically born a human.
So, we traversed through a birth canal made up of Planking Pax.

“Bridge of Hate” (renamed Psalm 91) remind us that Jesus was lifted up and attended to by angels.
So, PAX on BACKS awkwardly passed one another down the row.

Closed with reminder that anytime humans act like God, we end up doing, at best, awkwardly. Usually it results in disaster.
Only Jesus could pull off being truly human and truly divine.

Now, we get to represent him, as humans- image bearers, ambassadors of Christ, proclaimers of gospel.
Encouraged everyone to live out that true humanity, and let Jesus handle being God.

Anything else is awkward and laughable. Its sin.

QIC: Yosef

Pax: Iditarod, NPR, Seagull, Grohl, Ace, King, Jack, Aristotle, Scraps, Papa Juan

11 Pax posted for their PT check ride, approximately 3 month’s after the first one led by Godfather. Cool morning compared to Tues post, temps approx 40F.

PT test is Army’s fitness test to pass AIT (basic training). It includes the following:

Merkins, max in 2 min

WW2 sit-ups, max in 2 min

2 mile run for time

Scores are based on your result within your age bracket. Each exercise is scored out of 100 based on your bracket, for a total of 300.

Scores from previous test in July:

Scraps 247
Yosef 236
Papa Juan 231
Iditarod 213
Godfather 204
Ace 188 (w/ estimated run of 20 min)
Schnitzel 169
Nadal 159
Grohl 153
NPR 135
Aristotle 129

Below is PAX result for today. First line is the results of each exercise, second line is the scoring, as described above.

Clint p67 s65 run ? Age 39
94/88/29=211
Abe 35 55 ? Age 9
50/63/0=113
Aslan 50 60 ? Age 11
71/71/0=142
Matthew 47 p 51, 18:10 age 32
71/71/55=197
Brian 40 45 27:10 age 45
71/73/0=144
Trev 80 83 17:01 age 39
100/100/70=270
Juan 92 56 18:56 age 42
100/84/57=241
Phillip 70 51 23:00 age 23
94/61/0=155
Anthony 67 76 17:23 age 36
92/100/63=255
Trey 62 60 27:15 age 23
85/73/0=158
Jesse p75 s87 14:30 age 28
98/100/87=285

New leaderboard is as follows:

Yosef 285
Scraps 270
Iditarod 255
Juan 241
Ace 211 (20 min estimation on run)
Aristotle 197
Seagull 158
NPR 155
Grohl 144
King 142
Jack 113

Tclaps to all for their improvements! A few blisters and cramps today limited some of these scores.

Ended w/ Cot and BoM. YHC expressed pride in Pax for escaping the fartsack for 3 months straight (mostly).

 

 

QIC: NPR

Pax: Black Lung, Scraps, Seagull, Yosef, Iditarod, Grohl, Mr. Roboto, Aristotle, Childish Gambino, Airwolf

11 Pax posted on a balmy Thurs Am for NPR’s Halloween celebrations. Namely burning of the sugar with smoker after smoker.

Warm o Rama – 2 laps around the parking lot, 20 baby arm circles both directions, 15 Willie Mays Hays, 15 Imperial Walkers and Hillbillies, 10 Michael Phelps

The Thang:

NPR had run of the Blutooth and focused on muscle failure this morning. PAX chain smoked different muscle groups. NPR ran the following:

Move It Like This, Baha Men – Side Straddle hops the whole song. When they say “move it like this” do a burpee

Ghostbusters, Ray Parker Jr- baby crunches the whole song, WWI situp on “Ghostbusters”. PAX also worked on dodging parking cars. Sad Clowns want their spot, even when there are hundreds of open ones elsewhere

Smooth Criminal, MJ – plank the whole time. Do a Mercan when he says “Annie or Ok”.

Dream On, Aerosmith – hold reverse plank. Do a dip when he says “Dream on” or “Sing”

Gettin Jiggy With It/This is How We Do it – bearmuda triangle, 5 squats, 5 derkins, 5 WW1 situps. Bearcrawl 2 ways and Crawlbear 1 way

Cool down lap around the parking lot.

BoM/CoT

Bullhorn: PT test next Thursday, see how you’ve improved since July

 

QIC: Co-Q with Black Lung and Yosef

PAX: King, Ace, Jack, Iditarod, Aristotle, Dolly, NPR, Scraps

The Gloom finally got breath of fall this morning, with temps in the low 50s.

Warm o Rama
Small lap around the parking area
Willie Mays hays x 10 +Forward arm circles
Willie Mays Hays x 10 + backward arm circles
Hillbillies x 15
Good mornings x 12

The Thang: Black Lung expressed his interest in superheroes as a kid, so PAX was going to do some superhero training

Spiderman Merkins x 20 (left knee to left arm while completing a merkin, switch on next merkin, rinse repeat)

Superman: Y planks roll into V-ups x20

Flash: long run around the parking lot x1

Hulk: Broad jumps from light pole near where PAX was parked 3 light poles down. Iditarod reminded us that even superheroes slip up during this one.

Circle of Pain #1: Black Lung brought out some coupons in the form of 20lb dumbbells, and advised all superheroes have cut abs. Sat in close proximity to other PAX and did ab twits and passed the coupons around, switching direction at Q’s whim. It was noticeable this morning that PAX did not save their farts for the fartsack, but brought them to this COP. Q called it when he felt was appropriate.

At this point, the conn was given to co-Q Yosef

Yosef reminded PAX that heroes are strong and have endurance. As such, completed a variation of the Bojangles.
Sprint the straight of the parking lot aisle, then drop for 5 Merkins at the end. Complete the 5 Merkins and then BearCrawl to the start of the next sprint, which was two aisle away. Q ordered PAX to plank until all PAX caught up. Rinse and repeat x2 except with Crawl Bears to complete the lap.

Yosef attempted again help get the PAX superhero abs with another Circle of Pain #2.
Quarter sit-ups x25
Half sit-ups x25
Full WWII sit-ups x25
Flutter kicks x20 in cadence
Scissor kicks x20 in cadence
Reverse sit ups x25
Bicycles OYO x50

Time ran out before Yosef could finish the ab work required by superheroes, but PAX will live to fight another day.

CoT and BoM: Black Lung reminded us to slow down and remember who the real superhero is, and it isn’t one of the PAX.

QIC: Yosef
Conditions: Perfect conditions, cool and dark, some moonlight
PAX: NPR, Airwolf, Grohl, Dolly, Scraps, Aristotle, Black Lung, Schnitzel

Warm-0-rama: Obligatory lap around the parking lot
20x Side straddle hops
10x Willie Mays Hays w/ forward arm circles
10x Willie Mays Hays w/ backwards arm circles

Pax was eager to let the beast out, so blended COP and WOR. Iditarod’s famed Blutooth speaker was not in attendance, so Yosef improvised by going back to his high school days. Opened the doors & trunk to his vehicle and cranked it to 11.

King Kong – Bare & Datsik

PAX performed Imperial Walkers, Hillbilly’s, or chest beaters until they heard the words “King Kong.” Each King Kong = 3x Monkey Humpers. This makes for a decent amount of Monkey Humpers (read thigh burning).

Took the PAX on a quick trip to the Bermuda Triangle. 10 Merkins at Point A, Bear Crawl to point B. 10 Squats at Point B, Bearcrawl to point C. 10 Burpees at Point C, Bearcrawl back to Point A. Rinse and Repeat x3. Confirmed some PAX got lost in there, but remainder of PAX helped them escape.
There was much midwife noises and mumblechatter about thighs during this one.

Played Catch Me if You Can around the parking lot. Pairs of 2, Person A does 5 Merkins, Person B moseys around the lot. Once Person A completes Merkins, they sprint to catch Person B and tag them. Roles reverse. Rinse and repeat until lap is complete.

Played Catch Us if You Can around the parking lot next. Groups of 3, Person A does 5 full crunches, Person B fireman carries Person C around the parking lot. Person A sprints to catch B & C, and tags up. C drops and begins crunches, Person A carries Person B, cycle repeats until full lap around lot is complete.

Had a couple minutes left so Q led the PAX in Flutter Kicks x20, Hello Dollys x20.

COT and BOM – Prayed for continued discipline in the men in our spiritual lives, not just the physical one.

Tclaps to Dolly for returning for his 2nd workout in the same week.

Bullhorn: Any PAX interested in some basketball this Sunday with your F3 brothers? Holler @ Yosef or Pharaoh.

QIC: Scraps

Pax: Iditarod, Black Lung, Aristotle, NPR, Papa Juan, Seagull, Schnitzle, Yosef, Mr. Roboto, Grohl

10 Pax posted surprisingly, even though Yosef forgot to send a reminder. Sad Clowns, they are not.

Scraps took the VQ, and did not disappoint. Its like he’s led before.

Warm-o-rama

Big lap of the parking lot, which included politicians and side to side, each side, and ended with a bear crawl.

13x Good mornings, x17 Willie Mays Hays, x9 big arm circles forward, x7 big arm circles backwards, x 11 imperial walkers, x 12 rock a billies.

The Thang:

Scraps introduced Pax to the French acid electronic stylings of Daft Punk. Truth nuggets a plenty throughout.

1) FIRE DRILL to Around the World (Each Pax yells “Fire”)- Merkin, roll right, merkin, roll left, back up to high knees

2) GET LUCKY to Get Lucky- Flutter kicks….”Up all night”- Al Gore- “Get Lucky”- Merkin

3) 100 MORE TIMES- to One More Time- PARTNER GOAL 50 Merkins, 100 crunches, 150 squats- while one sprints down and back

4) Bropees- to Harder, Better, Faster Stronger

5) Television Rules the Nation- Spell that out on your back with your feet all caps

6) Technologic- Patty Cake Merkins

The Thang soaked all the time, and appropriately smoked the Pax.

Cot & BoM: Scraps advised the Pax to use the words we’re insulted by to streghten us, not to be ashamed of what we’re called. Prayed out.

Bullhorn: Tuesday is open for Q if someone wants it.

Aristotle shared some positive news about the youngest on the way. Continued prayers are appreciated