15 PAX shivered over to The Forge this morning to celebrate Christmas Vacation in the snow and cold.
But first… Preparty: A disappointed Little Miss Piggy and soggy CheezWhiz were bummed to discover no one had planned a preparty, so they made one up. It looked like lunges and toy soldier kicks.
PAX: Nimbus1500, CheezWhiz, Little Miss Piggy, Netflix, Two Star, NumbTucks, Show Me, Creeper, Tebow, Altidore, Typo+, MicDrop, TV Guide, Stats, RagDoll (QiC).
Today’s theme is the 1989 cinematic classic Christmas Vacation, and we’re gonna channel our inner Griswold for the hap-hap-happiest beatdown ever.
Mosey:
At 35 degrees with flurries flurrying we hit the pavement to the tune of the movie theme song. We keep it merry with a little winding and jolly zig zagging.
Warm Up:
Simple warm ups this AM. LBAC’s, forwards and backwards in cadence. Stretch out the legs with some cherry pickers, toe touches, and that move where you reach your arm all the way over your head and down your opposite leg towards your toes.
Ruby Sues:
Remember when Clark’s niece showed up and her eyes weren’t crossed anymore? “She falls down a well, eyes go crossed. She gets kicked by a mule, they go back to normal. I don’t know.”
We did about 10 Ruby Sues. They were kinda silly.
- From standing position, fall down the well: Drop to the ground into a descended Merkin position.
- Then get kicked by a mule: Rise to atomic position and do 4 mule kicks -(each leg straight back, 2x each).
Thang 1: Cut Down Your Christmas Tree
We gotta select the perfect Griswold family tree. Partner up and form a line. Here’s the routine.
- First you give your tree some love. Both partners Al Gore for a 5 count.
- Next you cut down your tree. Perform 10 Lumber-Plank-Jacks. That’s a Plank-Jack in diamond position (both arms together like the trunk of a tree). I know, it’s a stretch.
- Finally you carry your tree back to the car. Partner 1 carries Partner 2 approx 20 yards then mosey back to starting line.
Flapjack this nonsense, alternating partner carries until Q calls time.
Thang 2: Griswold Family Dinner
Nothing could be quite as awkward and miserable as Christmas dinner with the Griswold’s … except maybe for bear crawling through this wet sludge. But it wouldn’t be complete without Snot the dog tearing across the dining table chasing a loose squirrel.
So here’s the routine. Partners form a line at one end of the parking lot and then:
- Partner 1 bear crawls the width of the parking lot (approx 60 yards) while
- Partner 2 runs like a dog the width of the lot and back, until he’s caught up with the bear crawling partner at which point they switch, and
- Partner 2 continues bear crawling the width of the lot while
- Partner 1 runs like a dog, the remaining width of the lot, back to the opposite side and finally back to his bear crawling partner.
- Flapjack the above until partners have collectively bear crawled the entire width of the parking lot and back.
Rinse and repeat this family dinner, except swap bear crawls for lunges. Then a third time with crawl bear.
Round about this time we mosey towards the playground until we make a pit stop for…
Sally
This has nothing to do with Christmas. This has everything to do with giving our arms a break for 3 minutes and 26 seconds because we’re gonna need it.
To the song Flowers by Moby, starting from a squat position on every line “Bring Sally up”, rise to a stand, and on every line “Bring Sally down” lower back to a squat.
There’s more squats than stands, I’ll tell ya that right now. It’s good fun. Thanks Stats for the inspiration on this one.
Thang 3: 25 Days of Merkins
Upon passing through the playground fence, whence we PAX did so commence, a Merkin fest so ripe with pain we thought the Q had gone insane.
To ease the pain, between each 25-rep set of Merkin variations we recovered by recalling one of our favorite Christmas Vacation quotes.
- 25 Merkins
- 25 Army Crawl Merkins
- 25 Derkins
- 25 Spider-Man Merkins
- 25 Ranger Merkins
At this point Coach Numbtucks was in full force. Something about his grandma doing push-ups better than Tucker’s present form. Show Me lost his Christmas spirit. Netflix said he hated the Q.
We forge ahead…
- 25 Diamond Merkins
- 25 Merkin Jacks
- 25 Travoltas
With mutiny drawing nigh we moseyed back to the parking lot.
Nameorama / COT
Appreciate your prayers for my (RagDoll’s) family this week as we celebrate the life of my 93 year old Grandpa. We had a safe trip to Nebraska today following the workout and looking forward to some time with family.
Announcements
For those partaking in the Advent devotional, there’s a tentative coffeeshop discussion to chat about the book scheduled for the morning of December 20th (following workout at The Pound). Stay tuned for more details – NumbTucks on point.
Always a pleasure to lead you gentlemen. Thanks for hanging out this morning – see you soon!
~ RagDoll