December 15, 2018
15 PAX joined together this lovely morning to ramble down memory lane for this RETRO themed work out (at least for those of us old enough to remember these things). – apparently Gaylord Focker does not recognize the awesomeness who is Charles Bronson)
Conditions: A pleasantly awesome 47 degrees, and more importantly NO wind. Ground plenty enough wet to make you take notice.
PAX who made it: Ragdoll, Cheezwhiz, (FNG) Jinxy Cat, (FNG) Mr. Opus, Netflix, Creeper, 3rd Degree, Tebow, Gaylord Focker, Stats, Typo +, Soccer Mom, Show Me, TV Guide, and Little Miss Piggy (Q – but channeling Coach Numbtucks for this one)
PAX: who FARTSACKED EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE AN HC: Altidore, Barney Feivel, and Kermit
PreParty: 3rd Deg got it going with Soccer Mom, Typo +, and Creeper; but Mr.Opus, LMP, and Cheezwhiz joined in justa couple minutes late
Warm up: Q remembered to give Disclaimer this time, then channeled the 80s version of Coach Piggy with his polyester BIKE coaching shorts (stop visualizing these long hairy thighs)
Light jog around the parking lot once.
On the line: 20 yards of toy soldiers, butt kicks, long lunge
Circle up: IC baby arm circles x10 each, SSH x 15, Cherry pickers, Tennessee Prom Dates (alternating legs)
Travel to soccer field: Indian Ruck Run (remembering old army days for sure with this one) – Partner up
Carry your partner for this Indian run, switch when you get to the end of the line
Thang 1: Charles Bronson
Remembering this stalwart of manliness is nothing but good for the soul –we give Chuck Norris and Clint Eastwood and others all the props, while this grisly man of iron is often left in the shadows (163 show credits to his name, 11-3-21 to 8-30-03 RIP, Death Wish 1 to 5, Dirty Dozen, Once Upon a Time in the West)
Sprint x100 yds, then army crawl 10 yds. Mosey back to start line. Before starting sprint, PAX perform 50 reps of: (Round 1) SSH, (2) Merkins, (3) Burpees, (4) Little baby crunches, (5) jump squats
Q lost his shorts about 20 yards into each sprint (Polyester doesn’t stay up so well)
Mosey over to playground
Thang 2: Sally Merkin’s
Dang Moby still can’t figure out if he wants to bring her up or down – Merkins done on cue to the song (Q found out this week that this is a common song to use in the army for merkins so it again left him reminiscing about boot camp)—OMAHA!!!! With about 45 sec left, it became apparent that all of us Sallies were hardly able to get our jibblies off the ground, so Q switched it to squats.
Thang 3: “Top Gun”s
Of course a retro themed workout couldn’t have an arm pump by any other name…
Hail Mary (triceps) – Partner Up (cause everyone needs a Goose to help them get the job done). Maverick does 11 Coppenhages (dips) on the ledge with feet elevated on Goose who was in plank position, then switch; Rinse/repeat with 1 less rep each round until complete
Underdog/Plank Jack 11s – Occasionally, Maverick gets all bent out of shape and goes at it alone, so each PAX to himself for 10 Underdogs/1 Plank Jacks, then work way down to 1 Underdog/10 Plank Jacks.
Mosey back to the vehicles
Mary: “P90x Abdominals”
Okay, so this isn’t from the 80’s but it is retro from a while back. Remember that abdominal routine from P90x that made ya burn but got really monotonous and boring…this Mary routine relives the memories…
Circle up on your six: IC V-position bicycle fwd x15/reverse x 15, V-position Luge (in/outs with knees to chest) x10, Hello dollies x 10, then flip over tall plank for BirdDogs (opposite arm and leg raise) x 15
CoT: Numbers/Name-o-rama including FNG naming – OH MY! ShowMe comes through with a clutch performance today naming Mr. Opus (isn’t it supposed to be Mr. Holland?! Who cares! This is better), and 3rdDeg pulls out Jinxy Cat for us.
Closed with a sermon by Q ?—been thinking a lot this week about how we are called to simple belief in Jesus. John 1: 1-13, John 6:27-29 . Don’t put the pressure on yourself to have some “radical faith” but rest in the belief and faith that God has granted you. It is a gift of God. Just receive it and let it transform you.
2ndF- being considered for after New Years – The Casual Pint of Smyrna