How’s Your Heart and Leadership
I know. Men don’t typically ask that question. It’s usually saved for the girls over tea at the Puffy Muffin. However, I think when asked from a man to another man, it shows true leadership.
I’m (T-Cell) in the midst of a job transition. And my fellow job-transitioner, Bagger Vance, called me last week to ask me this question. His first question wasn’t, “What the heck are you going to do next?” or giving me advice on what I should or shouldn’t be doing during this time, it was simply, how are you doing? And not a “don’t answer fine”, but really doing.
This was a tough question for two reasons. First, as men, we typically leave the heart stuff to women and we don’t let ourselves go deep with other men. By Sims asking me the question, he becomes implicated. He can’t dissociate from the outcome of the question. If my answer is, “I’m hurting man. I need help”, Sims has to act. This question from Sims showed true leadership. Sims knew that there could be implications from his asking and he wasn’t afraid of the challenge that may await on the other side of my answer.
Second, it’s a tough question for me. When he asked, I was just a day into not having an office to go into and we were moving, so things were still “busy”. And truly, I had not had time to process the change. However, as days would pass and the busyness subsides, my “new normal” changes. Am I anxious? Nervous? Fearful? Depressed? Because Sims asked this question, I now have to be cognizant of my feelings and address them. I can’t hide or medicate. A leader asks questions of other’s that contribute to the flourishing of others.
What did I learn or what lessons were affirmed through Sim’s question?
Leaders care about someone else’s flourishing more than their own.
Leaders ask hard questions.
Leaders aren’t afraid to step into hard situations.
Leaders care.
Leaders listen.
I’m grateful for a friend like Sims and his leadership in my own life and the lives of those in F3.
How can you exhibit these traits of a leader in your interactions today?