Tag: 12thMan

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March 12th Man DISRUPTION

DISRUPTION

Def: The opposite of stasis and the status quo…DREDD refers to disruption in F1 as the key to influencing movement to advantage.  In this scenario, the LEADER is the Agent of Disruption; I would like to take a different perspective and look at DISRUPTION from another vantage point in this post.  As a reader of this post, I hazard a guess that you fancy yourself a LEADER.  In that case, how as a LEADER do you (or I for that matter) respond in the face of DISRUPTION?

As a disrupter, you … “Initiate Movement” – DREDD  or “Take the High Ground before the High Ground takes you” – JOCKO.

Those quotes are apropos and words to live by when you are taking the fight to the enemy, when you are in flow with LEADERSHIP. What happens when you aren’t the AGENTS OF DISRUPTION but rather the subjects or recipients of DISRUPTION?  In those times, your response is where the GoRuck, GROWRuck, CSAUP, your Qs are worth their proverbial weight in gold.

As you read this, think of a time when you have been the subject of DISRUPTION.  Travel to that place for a few minutes with me and allow me to hit you with this:

TRUE LEADERSHIP IS FORGED IN US DURING TIMES OF DISRUPTION

This concept has been on my mind for quite some time.  As I reflected upon the HIM among us that have really drawn me in during their DISRUPTION I landed on two specifically (I know there are many others just as exemplary) to illustrate how they taught me TRUE LEADERSHIP in the face of DISRUPTION.  I will close with what I have learned over the last 7 months as a 43 year old father of three and husband of one without a job who is awaiting the next chapter to be opened.

PAX – EBOLA

DISRUPTION – Job opportunity of a Lifetime in North Carolina.

I have known EBOLA for a long time, probably as long as anyone I am close to in F3 going back at least 7 or 8 years.  The first thing I can say about EBOLA is that he is a HIM amongst HIM. This is not his first dance with the quick footed partner of disruption and certainly won’t be his last.  And although he’s been to many a DISRUPTION rodeo and been thrown at each time, he has managed to dust HIMself off and get back after it each time.

The first lesson I learned from EBOLA is that he has a strong and deep faith; EBOLA has leaned into that faith as he waded through this big, life changing DISRUPTION.

Secondly, EBOLA knows who he is, how the Sky Q has designed HIM and who he is here to serve.  So, to rip off “The Rock” EBOLA knows his role and knows there is NO ONE else that can play that role.

Lastly, EBOLA has a mission to complete and the first target has been identified for him.  All of us will have a mission to complete (should we choose to enlist). For most of us it will look different than anyone else’s mission.

What I learned about LEADERSHIP from EBOLA in the midst of DISRUPTION: faith, role and mision are the keys to success.  

PAX – Grease Trap

Disruption – The loss of his oldest child, Job

If you have been around F3Nashville or F3Franklin for any amount of time, you have likely heard a bit of Grease Trap’s story, and that he and Katie lost Job late in the summer of 2017.  Let me stop for a quick sec, we didn’t “lose” Job, he simply went home ahead of us and is there now working on some sweet BATMAN artwork to share with us all.

So, how did the battle Job fought with cancer and his reunion with Jesus teach me leadership through Grease Trap?  There are some HIM I know that emit grace but let me assure you, there are none that did it then and continue to emit grace like Grease Trap.  The way he continued to pursue Jesus and at the same time continue to pursue the HIM of F3Nashville and F3Franklin is a study in true servant leadership.  Grease Trap did these things while continuing to serve Katie, love his family well and run a very successful business. His needs, while many, during the summer of 17 always seemed to pale in comparison to how well he loved Job, Katie, Zeke and Penny.  

Grease Trap’s singular goal was to get Job well.  He was always thinking of Job, Katie and the family while continuing to seek a brotherhood to protect and provide for him, to strengthen him and to give him rest.  The grace, vulnerability, passion and purpose Grease Trap showed us all that summer is true leadership and that continues today as Job’s memory lives on.

What I learned about LEADERSHIP from Grease Trap in the midst of DISRUPTION: You  must be others focused, knowing you are not alone that there is a fellowship that seeks to protect you and you must live a life full of purpose.

PAX – Bagger Vance

DISRUPTION – leaving multiple jobs seeking the silver bullet to success

As some of you may know, I left my job this past July with no back up plan, no options, and nothing even remotely on the horizon work wise.  I’d like to say I am like William Borden  but that just isn’t the case.

This self induced disruption has taught me vast amounts about leadership, here are some of my takeaways:

God is in Control…true leadership is making the next right decision based upon the choices in front of you while staying target focused and goal oriented.  We have to surrender our will to God’s plan for our lives. I used to say that I was guilty of pushing God aside to grab the typewriter so I could crank out a few lines of my story, telling Him to add them to the chapter.  How foolish?! It wasn’t until recently that I realized the story had already been written (with NO EDITS), printed and published…it is up to me to play the unique role only I can play.

Leslie (and my children) need my attention, consideration and provision (not always financial).  I was unable to die to myself until my identity (insert the jobs I have had ever since more money became my idol) was torched.  This burning of the boats forced me into one of two corners…self pity (the doldrums of the Mascot) or selflessness (the goal of the HIM).  By the Grace of God, I chose selflessness and man did it SUCK at the beginning. Over time, I realized I had no choice but to die to myself and completely surrender to Jesus.  This allows me to walk fully, faithfully and finally with Him.

My biggest idol is comparison and competition.  I finally realized, though I still struggle with it daily that comparison and competition is about as life giving as a steady diet of Doughnuts, Frappe Mochachino Lattes and porn.  Real leadership is leveraging yourself to serve others, to elevate them to the places they aspire to be, i.e. to a position of advantage.

In my own DISRUPTION, this is what I learned about LEADERSHIP – Someone Bigger than me is in control.  Provision for those closest to you allows you to truly come alive.  If you’re not a servant first, you will never be a true leader.

I hope this helps as you come face to face with DISRUPTION in your life.  Or as you are coming through DISRUPTION.  Or as you round the corner to  DISRUPTION.

PARTING SHOT: As LEADERS, should we seek circumstantial disruption or circumstances that will DISRUPT us and welcome that into our lives?

 

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A Little Fellow Follows Me

Gentlemen,

I came across this poem a few years ago and it has stuck with me ever since. I’d like to share it with you all now:

A careful man I want to be — 
a little fellow follows me. 
I do not dare to go astray, 
for fear he’ll go the self-same way. 
I cannot once escape his eyes. 
Whatever he sees me do he tries. 
Like me he says he’s going to be — 
that little chap who follows me… 
He knows that I am big and fine —
And believes in every word of mine. 
The base in me he must not see — 
that little chap who follows me… 
But after all it’s easier,
that brighter road to climb, 
With little hands behind me — 
to push me all the time. 
And I reckon I’m a better man 
than what I used to be… 
Because I have this lad at home 
who thinks the world of me. 
-Rev. Claude Wisdom White

As the father of a young boy, this sentiment hit hard. A tiny human full of life and curiosity looks to me to discover how the world works and how we should conduct ourselves in it. He watches and mirrors every move I make, learns from every personal interaction I have, and (scariest of all) listens to every word I speak. He is there all the time measuring the statements I make against the actions I take and that scares the daylights out of me.

Gentlemen, this sentiment leads me to my leadership theme for this month: Lead by Example. Those of us who are fathers know this idea very well. Our children will see us as the paragon of humanity and work their whole young lives to imitate us both consciously and subconsciously. Those of us who have yet to become fathers see this at work in the lives of those who have led us well and in the reflections of those whom we are tasked to lead. It’s an idea echoed in one of F3’s Q-ing standards: “If you can’t do it, don’t Q it”. Leading by example is the single most important characteristic of any leader. It should always be kept top of mind for us as we train our leadership abilities.

My son has watched my evolution from the sad clown state to that of one who actually cares about what he does with his life and his body. He has seen me go from a guy who wakes up late, rushes into work at the last minute, and spends his life drowning in a mixture of video games and self-pity to a man who is up before the sun, pushing his body to grow, and training both my mind and the minds of my family. He has come to admire this transformation and desired to push himself to do the same. The most exciting evidence of this exampled leadership is in his most recent request: “Dad, if I wake up early can I work out with you too?” It’s been 2 months now and this tiny human of 10 years has woken up (on his own) at 4:30 every morning to hit the ground outside in the cold, wet, dark of the morning by 5 to warm up. Some days he loves it and can’t get enough. Others, like this icy, rainy morning, he grimaces and forces himself through it. But the most amazing thing I’ve witnessed is the fact I have not had to push him once. He has seen my constant example and has begun holding himself to the same standard. This is a reflections of Plato’s insight, “The best way of training the young is to train yourself at the same time; not to admonish them, but to be seen never doing that of which you would admonish them”.

This is the core of being a leader. Lead yourself first. Build yourself in all facets through unmitigated daily discipline. Spend every day holding yourself to the highest standard at work, around friends, and with your family. Those who lead you will take note and push themselves to be greater because of it. Those who follow you will admire this discipline and be mentored by your actions. Take that brighter road to climb. Do not dare to go astray. Develop unmitigated daily discipline in all things. And always remember, somewhere, there is a little fellow who follows you.

-Reveille

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“How’s Your Heart?”

How’s Your Heart and Leadership

I know. Men don’t typically ask that question. It’s usually saved for the girls over tea at the Puffy Muffin. However, I think when asked from a man to another man, it shows true leadership.

I’m (T-Cell) in the midst of a job transition. And my fellow job-transitioner, Bagger Vance, called me last week to ask me this question. His first question wasn’t, “What the heck are you going to do next?” or giving me advice on what I should or shouldn’t be doing during this time, it was simply, how are you doing? And not a “don’t answer fine”, but really doing.

This was a tough question for two reasons. First, as men, we typically leave the heart stuff to women and we don’t let ourselves go deep with other men. By Sims asking me the question, he becomes implicated. He can’t dissociate from the outcome of the question. If my answer is, “I’m hurting man. I need help”, Sims has to act. This question from Sims showed true leadership. Sims knew that there could be implications from his asking and he wasn’t afraid of the challenge that may await on the other side of my answer.

Second, it’s a tough question for me. When he asked, I was just a day into not having an office to go into and we were moving, so things were still “busy”. And truly, I had not had time to process the change. However, as days would pass and the busyness subsides, my “new normal” changes. Am I anxious? Nervous? Fearful? Depressed? Because Sims asked this question, I now have to be cognizant of my feelings and address them. I can’t hide or medicate. A leader asks questions of other’s that contribute to the flourishing of others.

What did I learn or what lessons were affirmed through Sim’s question?

Leaders care about someone else’s flourishing more than their own.

Leaders ask hard questions.

Leaders aren’t afraid to step into hard situations.

Leaders care.

Leaders listen.

I’m grateful for a friend like Sims and his leadership in my own life and the lives of those in F3.

How can you exhibit these traits of a leader in your interactions today?