AAA Classic + Delta 7

Date: 2026-03-05 AO: the-knoll Q: Sooie PAX: AAA, Roadkill, Pebbles, Juicy J, Sooie, Churchill (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 6 CONDITIONS: Perfect F3 weather
WARMUP: Warm weather === warm body Light stretching (heresy. I know) Keep em up! BAC BBAC Shoulder taps Shoulder presses Seal claps Scissor chops Moroccan night clubs ( The Banker ) Motivators from 5 Imperial walkers
THE THANG: Mosey to the field each individual performs 100 merkins (caught up the slackers) 200 WW2’s 300 Squats 10 x 88yard moseys
All tasks completed with excellence. With time left on the clock, we proceeded to…
Thang 2: Delta Operator 7 Each PAX was given a cup full of water. Completed 7’s(11’s but 4 less reps) WW2’s and Iron Mikes with full cup in had moseying between cones attempting not to spill any water. Pebbles had the fullest cup at the end.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on Romans 5:3. Rejoicing in suffering which produces endurance -> character -> hope.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: MERKIN MADNESS GROW SCHOOL ALL CAPS
COT: Most had to bolt but we snuck a drink of water in between the thangs

AAA Classic

Date: 2026-03-05 AO: the-knoll Q: Sooie PAX: AAA, Roadkill, Pebbles, Juicy J, Sooie, Churchill (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 6 CONDITIONS: Perfect F3 weather
WARMUP: Warm weather === warm body Light stretching (heresy. I know) Keep em up! BAC BBAC Shoulder taps Shoulder presses Seal claps Scissor chops Moroccan night clubs ( The Banker ) Motivators from 5 Imperial walkers
THE THANG: Mosey to the field each individual performs 100 merkins (caught up the slackers) 200 WW2’s 300 Squats 10 x 88yard moseys
All tasks completed with excellence. With time left on the clock, we proceeded to…
Thang 2: Delta Operator 7 Each PAX was given a cup full of water. Completed 7’s(11’s but 4 less reps) WW2’s and Iron Mikes with full cup in had moseying between cones attempting not to spill any water. Pebbles had the fullest cup at the end.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on Romans 5:3. Rejoicing in suffering which produces endurance -> character -> hope.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: MERKIN MADNESS GROW SCHOOL ALL CAPS
COT: Most had to bolt but we snuck a drink of water in between the thangs

Decked Out

Date: 2026-03-03 AO: the-knoll Q: Sooie PAX: Pebbles, Roadkill, AAA, morning stār, Sparrow, Shakira, Sooie, Bumblebee (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 8 CONDITIONS: BLOOD MOOOOON!! but it was hidden by the clouds so we didn’t see it. Otherwise perfect temp. A bit windy.
WARMUP: Yes, no, shrugs 5x SSH 20x Cherry pickers 10x Low slow squats 10x Slow merkins 10x Michael Phelps Fast Merkins in cadence 10x but really 20
THE THANG: The ol’ deck of death broken into three rounds: ♣️ Merkins, dry docks, dips ❤️ SSH, mountain climbers, burpees ♦️ V-ups, Freddie mercs, big boys ♠️ Calf raises (spicolli’s), squats, iron Mike’s Aces high. Jokers = mosey to backstop placed after every 17 cards
MOLESKINE: Reflected on Psalm 46 amidst present uncertainty with AI, workplace restructuring, world events etc.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: #merkinmadness Was able to get Pebbles AAA Roadkill morning stār and Sparrow current on their merkins so there’s no excuse for them not to join in on the fun
COT: Prayers, coffee, and conversation
PLAYLIST: Wind & Birds

db.dropTables()

Date: 2026-02-13 AO: pain-train Q: Sooie PAX: Juicy J, FLO, Roadkill, Sooie FNGs: None COUNT: 4 CONDITIONS: Cold. Crisp. Waning crescent moon. Frost-bitten field. The kind of morning that makes poor decisions feel noble.
WARMUP: With only FLO and I present at 0530 we began with the F3 heresy of stretching. For a fleeting moment, I considered bypassing the labor entirely, fast-forwarding straight to coffeeteria, forging an epic backblast, and pretending the tables had been arduously carried. But before temptation could commit, Roadkill and Juicy J arrived in unison. And just like that, the motion I once considered… was tabled. We then as a group performed: – Motivators – Walkout merkins – Low slow squats
THE THANG: THE BEAST Six cones. Straight line. Ten yards apart. At each cone: 6 reps. Carry the tables the entire distance. Complete the circuit 6 times. Partner up. Acquire lumber. Cone 1: Merkins Cone 2: Table Squats (one PAX per side) Cone 3: Skull Crushers (incline Carolina Dry Dock style, hands on table) Cone 4: Step-Ups — 2 is 1 (Originally table walk-overs… but frost + slick lumber suggested we adjourn before litigation was introduced.) Cone 5: Dips Cone 6: Decline or Incline Merkins (dealer’s choice)
Lumber migrated. Shoulders fatigued. Grip integrity declined. Rounds accumulated.
Inspired by doubles luge, we proceeded to perform doubles WWII’s upon the table tops, undulating our torsos in unison! jk/lol we did not.
Instead, we shifted to ISO holds: – Reverse plank – Low plank Followed by suicide sprints to retrieve cones. 10 yards out and back. 20 yards. 30 yards. …and so on. Each cone claimed = points earned. Speed gradually decreased. Breathing escalated. Dignity fluctuated.
The remaining minutes were surrendered to abdominal exercises, as mandated by F3 law and upheld by unanimous consent.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on the faithfulness of God in the midst of uncertain circumstances.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: holy smokers Leanpax at an end. T-claps to those who made it through!
COT: Prayers lifted. Coffee enjoyed.
PLAYLIST: Gasps and Groans by the 440+

Shakira’s Racewalk School (Pt. 1)

Date: 2026-02-10 AO: the-knoll Q: Shakira PAX: Stubs, Roadkill, Juicy J, FLO, AAA, morning stār, Shakira, Étouffée, Wolfpack, Sparrow, Derby, Pebbles, Sooie, Bumblebee (2.0), Link (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 15 CONDITIONS: Upon rising from bed, the PAX were greeted by Piglet’s Favorite Kind of Weather (Shorts Weather) and a balmy temperature of 47 degrees. Our resident meteorologist, Juicy J, informed us that the feel-like temp was 42 so the PAX would have to keep moving if they were going to stay warm in the Gloom. Fortunately, by the end of the workout several PAX reported that they were sweating buckets and the feel-like had mysteriously risen to 70.
WARMUP: 30 side straddle hops, 15 Baby arm circles, 15 Back backs, 15 Press ups, 15 Twinkle Toes, 10 low slow merkins, Mosey.
Pebbles, Derby, and Étouffée wanted to make sure they weren’t late for Shakira’s school so they showed up early for an extra 10 minutes of sand bag burpees.
THE THANG: The PAX began their initiation into Shakira’s Racewalk School with a brief explanation of the rules of Racewalk and a group mosey. Bumblebee and Link appeared to be future racewalk olympians and are on the Shakira shortlist for full scholarships.
Next, the PAX’s completed an endurance test called the 7 of Diamonds workout: 4 sets of Burpees, Iron Mikes, WW2s, and Twinkle Toes in increasing count (7, 14, 21, 28). MOT was a choice between bear crawl and imperial walkers.
Finally, the PAX completed a 10 minute “Move & Hold” Lie Detector test to discover if their “Hips Don’t Lie.” Results were mixed, so we will have to repeat this experiment again soon.
60 second plank 3 x 30s glute bridge, 30s hold (Rleg, Lleg, both) 3 x 30s core exercise, 30s hollow hold or plank (scissors, dying cockroach, Shakiras (Jlos)
MOLESKINE: “When you fall get up, oh, oh…And if you fall get up, eh, eh”
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Holy smokers coming up soon in East Nashville!
COT: A moment of silence to reflect in gratitude for what we have and pray for all in need.

(No?) HR Violations

Date: 2026-02-04 AO: insane_train Q: Sooie PAX: Juicy J, FLO, Derby, Shakira, Chili Dip, Choo Choo, El Capitan, Sooie FNGs: None COUNT: 8 CONDITIONS: Despite yesterday’s rain and a brief heat wave, winter made its presence known. Ice clung to the steps like a bad idea waiting to happen. A near-frozen mist fell continuously, less precipitation, more psychological warfare while a low, granite ceiling of clouds erased all celestial reference points. The only light came from LED streetlamps, their sterile glow casting an eldritch pall over the field and all who entered it.
WARMUP: We opened with SSH (as is required by all F3 workouts), with the unstated intent of continuing until Juicy J returned to the circle. Fifty reps were achieved before his arrival, a number that explicitly shalt not be exceeded in any F3 warmup. >From there: – Imperial Walkers (with sandbag) 10x – Sandbag Squats 10x – Shoulder the weight and mosey to the playground, carefully skirting the icy Steps of Death
THE THANG: YHC’s intention was to lead the PAX through a series of sub Zone 5 exercises…but it appears that there were HR violations along the way.
Thang 1 – E2MOM Every 2 minutes: – 6x Sandbag Deadlift → Clean – 6x Sandbag Squats – 6x Push Press – Rest
Six rounds. Smooth reps were encouraged. Compliance was optional. HR monitors quietly judged us all.
Thang 2 – Dora ISO Partner up and rotate through stations of quiet suffering. Station 1 – Partner A: Reverse Plank with Sandbag on the abs/waist – Partner B: Bear Hug Sandbag Walk (playground perimeter) Station 2 – Partner A: Dead Hang with Sandbag Across Knees – Partner B: Zercher Hold Sandbag Walk (playground perimeter) Station 3 – Partner A: Overhead Sandbag Hold – Partner B: Farmer Carry Sandbag (around perimeter, switch hands halfway)
Grip began to fail. Cores trembled. Breathing patterns grew creative. HRs crept toward forbidden territory.
Thang 3 – Sandbag Rage – 8x Sandbag Cross-Body Chops (from knees) – 8x Sandbag Over-the-Shoulder Throws – 4x Weighted Split Squats (each leg) – 20-yard mosey (Repeat)
It was here that a feral cry split the mist-laden air as Juicy J, overtaken by testosterone-fueled, sandbag-jealous rage, smote and shattered yet another cinder block upon the ground. What began as a carefully-stacked monument to masculinity at the launch of pain-train now resembles more a cairn of cobble.
MOLESKINE: YHC encountered several inconveniences which threatened to derail my morning. Fortunately I woke up early enough that these obstacles were overcome with little to no impact on Qing.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Holy smokers continues! See slack for details on upcoming dates and locations.
COT: Prayer for those without power and those working to restore power. Prayer for those dealing with the aftermath. Prayers of gratitude for community and protection.
T-claps to Derby for bringing the coffee and the pre-workout workout! It (the coffee) was thoroughly enjoyed in the frigid mist!

Ruck Around Find Out

Date: 2026-02-02 AO: the_eddy Q: Sooie PAX: Juicy J, Half Lyfe, FLO, Roadkill, Motorola, Choo Choo, Sooie, Stubs FNGs: None COUNT: 8 CONDITIONS: 25 feels warm after single digits but it was an ice rink.
WARMUP: park FLO’s truck
THE THANG: Ruck around the paved base trail. Find out the extent of the tree damage.
MOLESKINE: “If you’re going through hell, keep going” -often attributed to Winston Churchill but I couldn’t find any evidence to confirm
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Keep your eyes and ears open for anyway you can help those in need in the aftermath of this ice storm.
COT: Moved all vehicles out of the skating rink (parking lot). Enjoy some coffee! Thanks Stubs !

Snow day prep. Gets those legs and core ready for pulling kids up hill on sled.

AO: the-knoll
Q: Half Lyfe
PAX: Pebbles, Malibu, Sooie, Piglet, AAA, Étouffée, Roadkill
FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
CONDITIONS: chilly, clear skies, beautiful morning.

WARMUP: SSH, IW, OHP, Seal Claps, WMH, Runners Stretch.

THE THANG: 8 stations.
1 (timer) – run to back stop and back.
2 feet elevated, legs at 90 degrees up against playground wall equipment. 4 exercises 20 reps each. Touch both hands to wall (crunches), alternate touching wall (think heal taps), elbows to knees (crunches), elbows to opposite knees (crunches).
3 step ups with sand bag
4 squats with sand bag.
5 on the ground V formation and imagine 2 dumbbells about 20″ apart (3 exercises) moving legs to I position and Y position (inside dumbbell and outside dumbbell), next is both feet making an M over dumbbells. Then alternate foot M – one foot over and back. Other foot over and back.
6 ultimate lunge with sandbag. Forwsrd, side, back.
7 J Lo’s with mountain climber
8 flutter kicks with press. 4 count flutter kick 2 count press

Exchanged rope flow for backstop run as timer as we got closer to the end. (Thank you Piglet and morning stār).

Always a pleasure to lead. Thank you for coming out and embracing the cold.

MOLESKINE: long weekend spent a lot of time with kids. Love watching them grow and learn new things.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Wed night Bible Study starting up, lean pax going on. Check slack. Prepare for winter storm.

COT: Count off, name o rama, prayers, coffee.

Easiest EMOM Ever (E3)

AO: the-knoll
Q: Sooie
PAX: Pebbles, Étouffée, AAA, Sparrow, Malibu, Roadkill, Sooie, Legos, Stubs
FNGs: None
COUNT: 9
CONDITIONS: 50 degrees beneath a waning gibbous moon.

WARMUP:
– Imperial Walkers 8x (why 8?!? No idea)
– Good Mornings 5x
– 10x in cadence of each: BAC, BBAC, Shoulder Tap, overhead clap, seal clap, Moroccan night clubs, over head press, scissor chops
– Scorpions
– Hill sprints/mosey 3x at 50/75/100% effort

THE THANG:
E3: Every minute in the minute 3 exercises, 1 rep each.
– pull-up with 5 count descent
– Plyo merkin 5 count descent
– Squat broad jump 5 count descent
Repeat 30x

Mary:
Leg lifts
American hammers
Plank

MOLESKINE:
Cultivate intentionality whenever you can.

T-claps to Étouffée and Pebbles for showing up early for a pre-EMOM EMOM with sandbags!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
leanpax

COT:
Prayers, coffee, and catch-up!

Tour de Insane Train

AO: insane_train
Q: Derby
PAX: Wolfpack, Sooie, Puzzlah, Piglet, Siri, Chili Dip, Choo Choo, morning stār, Juicy J, Shakira, El Capitan, Stubs
FNGs: None
COUNT: 13
CONDITIONS: Gloomy!

WARMUP: Most Stretched Prior to Start, but threw in Merkins, Runners Stretch, PE Stretch and SSH

Credo, Motto and 5 Core Principles

THE THANG: Load up Sand Bags and Mosey the Park Loop ending in Playground for 3 sets of the following:
15 SB Chest Press, 10 SB WWII’s, 5 Pull-ups

Load up Sand Bags and Mosey to Tennis Courts for Burpee Broad Jump Suicide Ladder:
BBJ to first end line then Bear Crawl to start for 15 SB Rows, BBJ to second end line then Bear Crawl back to start for 15 SB Rows & 15 SB Curls. BBJ to third end line then Bear Crawl back to start for 15 SB Rows, 15 SB Curls & 15 SB Overhead Press.

Load up Sand Bags and Mosey to Nine Ball Court for 10 SB Hero Burpees.

Load up Sand Bags and Mosey back to Red Caboose Parking Lot for 1:30 Min Plank and 45 Seconds of Burnout Merkins.

MOLESKINE: Grateful for all of the support and encouragement to get insane_train established. Incredibly strong HIMs in the Bellevue Community and excited for the impact we’re able to have.

The New Year brings a lot of focus on self improvement, but encouraged PAX to purchase flowers for their significant other or someone close to them to not lose sight of family

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Lean Pax going strong.

COT: Prayers up for Juicy J’s friend Nancy, Wolfpack’s Wife’s Grandmother and strengthening Marriages.

Grateful for all of you guys and the opportunity to lead!

:horse_racing: