Impossible/Manly/Murder Mile

AO: greenmachine
Q: Focker
PAX: Betty Ford, Toothless, SalPal, Pep, Cowboy, Pole Dancer, Works for a Guy, t-cell, Black Lung, moneyshot, Young and Restless, Esposa, Matador, Shania, Topanga
FNGs: None
COUNT: 16
CONDITIONS: Moist

WARMUP: Drive your car to the workout

THE THANG:
400 meter burpee broad jump :burpee:
400 meter lunge :leg:
400 meter bear crawl :teddy_bear:
400 meter “run” :man-running:

MOLESKINE: -the bear crawl makes the burpee broad jump feel like the lunges
-Works for a Guy unsurprisingly took the crown
-everyone was under one hour!
-coffee, Purity chocolate milk, and Donut Den treats provided (thanks Toothless!)
-one of my new favorite traditions is this horrible mile
ANNOUNCEMENTS: see ya next year!

COT: I think everyone wrestled with their respective higher power during the bear crawls

Middle Tooth Mafia

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Goose
PAX: Toothless, Topanga, Oatmeal, Matador, Esposa, DrRupp, sooner, Betty Ford, LB, The Shield
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Perfect

WARMUP: Willie Mays Hays, Cherry Pickers, Goog Mornings, Arm Stretches, Arm Circles

THE THANG:
– 2 laps native american runs
– 150 Merkins, WW1s, with run between every 25 reps.
– Lunges: 3 trips down and back with 10 squats every 10 strides.
– Circle of Mary, fielders choice, 20 reps max

ANNOUNCEMENTS: nightmoves tonight!

Holy Week 2025

AO: greenmachine
Q: sooner
PAX: t-cell, Grape, Pep, Matador, moneyshot, Black Lung, Esposa, Betty Ford, Cowboy, Focker
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Glorious and Maundy

WARMUP: dynamic

THE THANG:

“AI can’t make this up”

Palm Sunday – Palm Swap – split up into two groups, line up in plank on opposite sides of the field, last pax sprints to front of opposite line until both lines meet in the middle

Stations of the cross – 12s: star jumps and crunchy frogs; travel is beak crawl/crawl bear; 10 yards

Maundy Thursday – Washing of the feet; stairs

Good Friday – lunge walk and 2 x double plank burpees at 10 yards; 60 yards

Holy Saturday – ring of fire

Easter – up downs to “christ the lord is risen today”

MOLESKINE:
Easter

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Grape is singing in his church choir and he invites you to come see him sing. He’s a tenor.

COT: Matador’s international students event

Fly, you fools! 🧙‍♂️

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Toothless
PAX: Betty Ford, Focker, Topanga (Scott), Pole Dancer, Esposa, Oatmeal, Matador, sooner, DrRupp, Hot Water
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: One more nippy day, still warm comparably. Slippery on the grass though, conducive for injury.

WARMUP:
– SSH x 25
– Air presses x 10
– Michael Phelps x 10
– Willy Mays Hays x 10
– Carrot pullers x 10
– Scorpions x 10

THE THANG: Fly, you fools! :male_mage:

Mosey to tennis courts to the horns and drums of Howard Shore…

Defend Helm’s Deep
– Tag based capture the flag
– 10 x merkins to reset as a defender
– 10 x squats to reset as an attacker
– Mutual tags are allowed
– Downed players can be tagged to reset their count
– Attackers win when flag is captured and returned
– 7 minute cap, swap and play other side

Ride of the Rohirrim
– Rohirrim run across field between baseball diamonds, dark forces of Easterlings and Haradrim tag (a la sharks & minnows)
– Tagged players go back to start after performing 10 burpees, hold plank through next waves until all are tagged
– Teams swap positions and repeat
– Cut field in half and all bear crawl instead of run
– Teams swap positions and repeat

Last March of the Hobbits
– “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” – Samwise Gamgee
– Travel “there and back again” across the field
– Team must always be carrying one man, others are lunging. Cycle men out from the carrying group, cycling man runs to physically tag lunger who joins the carriers. All must be carried at least 20 steps, first full team to get there and back wins.

Destroy the Ring
– Overcome the mental and physical attachment to comfort with 25 burpees

Round table at the Green Dragon (Mary to time)

MOLESKINE:
All fun and games here on April Fool’s Day, evidenced by the ever industrious PAX finding ways to bend the rules to their purposes.

Defending Helm’s Deep went fairly smoothly, a few leaps over the tennis nets and an interesting tagged-but-tossing-the-flag strategy secured the win for both teams. Mutual tagging as a strategy “passed out of all knowledge” as teams fell back on a one-sided tagging approach.

Ride of the Rohirrim was not without incident – very few survivors made it across the fields though there were some very close calls. I’m sure I missed some, but I saw Topanga (Scott) absolutely lay out to tag Pole Dancer before he made it through. YHC managed to sprain an ankle while attempting to cut away from sooner, fulfilling the prophecy of all F3 games resulting in at least one injury. The bear crawl round proved to be far too difficult for the runners, with YHC being the only survivor due to playing dead under Matador after accidentally felling him in friendly fire before crawling to the end when the Eye of Sauron moved away.

Last March of the Hobbits was pretty much an instructional disaster which I will own up to, leaving much room for interpretation. After team 2 took a roaring lead by having everyone carry the one person to reduce the slowness of the lunging, team 1 copied that strategy and flew past during a switch while carrying our lightest member of the party, reminding team 2 that it was a minimum of 20 steps per person which they had misunderstood to mean only a maximum of 20 steps per person before switching. A valiant sprint was made after that reminder, but to no avail.

Almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section, but the Hobbits celebrating with a flagon at the Green Dragon were not as safe as they seemed…someone ripped a loud, juicy fart, inspiring Topanga (Scott) to comment: “Well that was straight from the eye of Sauron.” It was too much for the PAX to take, exercises suffering in quality for several minutes until Focker forced focus with his slow burn reverse leg raise.
Last but not least, almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section. Unfortunately the Hobbits at the Green Dragon weren’t as safe as they seemed…

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– brewsday is TODAY! 4:30p @ 12S Taproom!
– Spring Fling is this Sunday at the Warner parks, shelter #5, families & friends welcome!

COT:
– sooner shared
– Pole Dancer shared
– Focker shared

Grateful for the vulnerability in the CoT, PAX. YHC shared a word about the importance of fun and silliness in our every day lives, and shared appreciation for the PAX joining me in that today.

As always, it was an honor to lead, men. I’ll SYITG throughout the week!

Soft Start New Year 2025 – Lovin’ The Loop

AO: detention
Q: Cowboy
PAX: Esposa, Deep State, Donkey Hammer, Accounts Receivable, Movin On Up, Pedialyte, Works for a Guy, Matador
FNGs: None
COUNT: 9
CONDITIONS: Balmy , Warm for a December Day

Disclaimer,
WARMUP: SSH, Baby Arm circles front and Back, Air Press, Squats, Good Mornings, WMH, Imperial Walkers, High Knees, Butt Kickers, Fire Hydrants, Baryshnikov Squats,
Capri Lap around the Loop
Some Parking Lot Work: Sprint 50%, Sprint 75%, Skip there a back, Bernie

THE THANG: Paired Up Dora
As a Pair do 100 Merkins, 200 Little Baby Crunches, 300 Air Press Squats. With Loop Lap at each Quarter of Each Round.
As a Pair do the exercise together and at quarter completion of that set run the Loop in opposite directions. (ie at 25, 50 75 of 100s; 50,100, etc of 200s)
5 Slap Merkins where you meet on the Loop. Return. Finish set.

Parking Lot Shuffle between Cars, 5 Burpees at the end.
Mary: 10 Fire Hydrants, 10 Donkey (Hammer) Kicks

MOLESKINE: This week feels like 2025 has already started. It is a soft start to the New Year.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Lean Pax Starts 1/6, Convergence at Titan Wednesday am 6:00, JuiceDay (alternative to BrewsDay during leanPax) 1/7.

Cruel Work

AO: cruelhall
Q: Cowboy
PAX: Donkey Hammer, Young and Restless, Accounts Receivable, Mistah Mistah, EZ-Go, Matador, PoundPuppy
FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
CONDITIONS: Crisp and Cold or was it Hot and steamy. Can’t remember

WARMUP: SSH, GM, WMH, Downward Dog – Calf Stretch
Burpee Buy-in – 11
Mosey to the Pavilion behind school
THE THANG:
4 Corners, 4 Stations, 4 Groups. Each group at a sifferent station. Do the exercise, hold for the six. All travel at the same time
Round 1 Reps = 10 Travel = Crab Walk
Burpee Buy-in – 10
Station 1 = Side Step Squat 2is1
Station 2 =Git Ups
Station 3 = Tuck Jumps
Station 4 = Iron Mikes

Round 2 Reps = 9 Travel = Bear Crawl
Burpee Buy-in – 9
Station 1 = Bowing Merkins
Station 2 = Bowing merkins
Station 3 = Elbow to Knee – Suzanne Somers Style
Station 4 = High Low Plank

Round 3 Reps = 8 Travel = Duck Walk
Burpee Buy-in – 8
Do Round 1 & Round 2 Exercises plus these
Station 1 = Single Leg Squat
Station 2 = Git Ups
Station 3 = Tuck Jumps
Station 4 = Iron Mikes
Burpee Buyin 7
Burpee Buyin 6
Mosey Back to Star Deck via Indigenous Peoples Run + Burpee
Burpee Buyin 5
Burpee Buyin 4

Mary and Time

ANNOUNCEMENTS: – Turkey Trot 11/28, BrewsDay Dec 3

270 to Win

AO: detention
Q: EZ-Go
PAX: Works for a Guy, Accounts Receivable, Winona, Movin On Up, Donkey Hammer, EZ-Go, Matador, Mistah Mistah, Uncle Jerry, Deep State, Pedialyte
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Easy, Breezy, Beautiful

WARMUP:
Trump Twists
Kamalalunges
26 4ct American Hammers

THE THANG:
*Grab a block
The electoral college is a key tenet of the system of American government. In order to understand it, you must experience it. And experience it we did.

For each BLUE state – BLOCK SQUATS
For each RED state – MERKINS
For each SWING state – BURPEES

Alabama: 9 merkins
Alaska: 3 merkins
Arizona: 11 burpees
Arkansas: 6 merkins
California: 54 squats
Colorado: 10 squats
Connecticut: 7 squats
Delaware: 3 squats
District of Columbia: 3 squats
Florida: 30 merkins
Georgia: 16 burpees
Hawaii: 4 squats
Idaho: 4 merkins
Illinois: 19 squats
Indiana: 11 merkins
Iowa: 6 merkins
Kansas: 6 merkins
Kentucky: 8 merkins
Louisiana: 8 merkins
Maine: 4 squats
Maryland: 10 squats
Massachusetts: 11 squats
Michigan: 15 burpees
Minnesota: 10 squats
Mississippi: 6 merkins
Missouri: 10 merkins
Montana: 4 merkins
Nebraska: 5 merkins
Nevada: 6 merkins
New Hampshire: 4 squats
New Jersey: 14 squats
New Mexico: 5 squats
New York: 28 squats
North Carolina: 16 burpees
North Dakota: 3 merkins
Ohio: 17 merkins
Oklahoma: 7 merkins
Oregon: 8 squats
Pennsylvania: 19 burpees
Rhode Island: 4 squats
South Carolina: 9 merkins
South Dakota: 3 merkins
Tennessee: 11 merkins
Texas: 40 merkins
Utah: 6 merkins
Vermont: 3 squats
Virginia: 13 squats
Washington: 12 squats
West Virginia: 4 merkins
Wisconsin: 10 burpees
Wyoming: 3 merkins

Then MARY:
270 to win – 30s increments of low plank, right side plank, left side plank, six inches, and v-ups until 270 s had elapsed

MOLESKINE:
What an educational experience we all had. I feel so prepared for the election tomorrow!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Tennessee Tussle and F3 Half Marathon this weekend

COT:
Pray for our leaders (Romans 13)

Always a pleasure, thanks for allowing me to lead.
-EZ

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

AO: detention
Q: Focker
PAX: Topanga, Mistah Mistah, Matador, Movin On Up, Uncle Jerry, Pedialyte, EZ-Go, Winona, Accounts Receivable
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS: Almost long sleeve time

WARMUP: SSH, squats, dive bombers

THE THANG: grab coupon
Tabata work. 50 sec on, 10 off.
3 rounds of each exercise group then run top loop
Round 1: thrusters and flutter kicks
RUN
Round 2: rows and WW1
RUN
Round 3: swings and heel lifts
RUN
Round 4: burpee jumps and planks
RUN
Round 5: curl to press and crunchy frogs

MOLESKINE: mid to low Mumblechatter today due to progressing core difficulty noted. Lots of gas passing also due to core work

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Chili time on 10/20! See slack ^^^for details

COT: prayers for traveling, prayers for Esposa to be back soon (we all miss you), prayers lifted for those who were in the hurricane path

CruelHall gets Handsome!

AO: cruelhall
Q: Freakonomics
PAX: Donkey Hammer, EZ-Go, Pedialyte, Matador, Mistah Mistah, Works for a Guy, Old Maid, Natural Ice, Spinal Tap, Cuban Missile, Freakonomics, Fortran
FNGs: None
COUNT: 12
CONDITIONS: dark and cool

WARMUP: SSH, Low and Slow Squats and Merkins, Little Baby Arm Circles, Willie Mays Hays and Good Mornings

THE THANG:
Handsomizer men on one line, CruelHall men on the other. Run to the center, 10 reps 2-man clap pushups. lunge back. Repeat 5 times for 50 push up reps total.

Start with 12 reps each of five exercises. Bicep curl (coupon), overhead press (coupon), overhead tricep extension (coupon), rows or pull-ups, squats (2 count). Run around the covered area, repeat with 11 reps. Run, repeat with 10, etc. Your Q got down to 7 reps.

Six minutes of Mary – somehow the most low-ab exercises I’ve ever done.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Nashville Chili Cookoff is coming up. Check 2ndf and with Natural Ice for details.
COT:
Old Maid family sickness and stress for mrs.
Pedialyte’s sister is expecting her second child at any moment!

Pistol Pete!

AO: detention
Q: Grape
PAX: Black Lung, Winona, EZ-Go, Pedialyte, Works for a Guy, Movin On Up, Mistah Mistah, Michael Freiburg, Deep State, Natural Ice, Matador
FNGs: None
COUNT: 12
CONDITIONS: doesn’t get better than this in Nash

WARMUP: SSH, WMH, LBAC, Moroccans

THE THANG: in honor of Pete Sampras’ first grand slam title on 9/9/1990, we did a bunch of running and burpees

S- 14 suicides
A- 90 Alabama prom dates
M- 64 merkins
P- 15 prison cell merkin burpees
R- 30 regular burpees
A- 40 ab thrusters
S- 45 SSH and 44 squats

5 MoM

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 9/11 and 9/14 convergences

COT: prayers for Mistah Mistah’s friend, for Natural Ice interview, for EZ-Go’s sick household

:grapes: