Pump up the jam

Date: 2026-03-06 AO: cruelhall Q: Tinkertoy PAX: Matador, Toothless, Esposa, Donkey Hammer, Pepsi, Swig, Pound Puppy, My Pleasure FNGs: 1 My Pleasure COUNT: 9 CONDITIONS: 65* and clear. “Some would say perfect (Trump voice)”
WARMUP: Mosey/donkey kicks/knee2chest/Frankenstein/imperial walkers/hillbillys/good morning/willie mays hays/slow squat/arm circles/phelps/air press
THE THANG: 11’s -Hand Release Merkins -Coupon Thrusters Mode of transport: bear crawl 1/2 lunge 1/2 / mosey back
3 sec tempo up/down -21 coupon press -11 WW1 with coupon -21 coupon S2OH -11 WW1 with coupon -35 Merkin
MOLESKINE: Why did I do this 2 days in a row?
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Merkin madness. March madness tailgate in the works at Donkey Hammer front yard. TBD. BYOB.
COT: Swig’s 5year old neurological regulation. My heart monitor and MRI coming up returns normal readings.
PLAYLIST: 80s techno.

Texas Independence Day (v.5)

Date: 2026-03-03 AO: middle-tooth Q: sooner PAX: Cal Worthington, DrRupp, Toothless, Cowboy, Betty Ford, Young and Restless, Chunks, Pepsi, Matador FNGs: None COUNT: 10 Warm up
Preview – ​Side-Straddle Hops: 28 Reps (IC) — Texas was the 28th state. ​Imperial Walkers: 18 Reps (IC) – Battle of San Jacinto lasted 18 minutes ​Hillbillies: 18 Reps (IC) — total Commemorating 1836.
​The Alamo Circuit –
Station 1: 13 Days of Glory (The Escalator) ​Perform as many rounds as possible (AMRAP) for 13 minutes. No stopping. ​13 Texian Burpees (The “Texian” Burpee: Add a star-jump at the top). ​13 Merkins (Standard). ​13 Air Squats (Deep and disciplined). ​13 Big Boy Sit-ups. Run “Scout” lap after every full set.
​Station 2: The “Come and Take It” Ground-and-Pound ​Buddy Carry / Fireman’s Carry: 50 yards (Swap at the halfway mark). ​Alternate (if no buddy): Bear Crawl 50 yards. ​The Penalty: If anyone stops moving during the Bear Crawl/Carry, the whole PAX performs 5 “Santa Anna” Slaps (Carolina Dry Docks).
​Station 3: San Jacinto Sprint (The Decisive Victory) ​Mirroring the 18-minute battle that won independence: ​18 murder bunnies. 18 bunny hops ​36 Mountain Climbers (Double-count, for the year 1836). ​Sprint to the “Line in the Sand” (Pick a landmark 50 yards away). ​18 Monkey Humpers (In honor of the confusion of the Mexican retreat). Repeat x 2
The Lone Star Core
​The “Brazos” Plank: Hold for 60 seconds. During the hold, call out one name of a Texas hero (Travis, Bowie, Crockett, Houston, Seguin).

Paraphernalia Pump

Date: 2026-03-02 AO: detention Q: EZ-Go PAX: Deep State, Movin On Up, Andrew McDermott, EZ-Go, 8 Ball, Matador, Esposa, Pedialyte, Donkey Hammer, Toto, Pound Puppy FNGs: None COUNT: 11 CONDITIONS: Spittin’
WARMUP: Mosey to pavilion with various workout paraphernalia (:arrow_left: did you know how that was spelled)? 25 SSH
THE THANG: Station 1: Complexes with Kettle Bells 5 kb to chin 5 Rows 5 Power clean 5 Squat press 5 Good mornings X3 rounds
Station 2: Paraphernalia Pump Station 1 – Sandbag Squats Station 2 – KB Turkish getups Station 3 – Weighted vest burpees Station 4 – Triple arm killers w bumper plates *Tabata – 120s on, 20s off
Had a whole station with burpees and sprinting still to go, but didn’t get to it…
MOLESKINE: It was great to get out there and throw heavy things around – good for the soul.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Merkin Madness (check slack for details)
COT: Pray for my family, wife’s been dealing with medical stuff for the past month
PLAYLIST: Sweating to the Oldies
Love yall :v:EZ

LinkedIn Lunatics

Date: 2026-02-24 AO: middle-tooth Q: SalPal PAX: Matador, Esposa, Betty Ford, DrRupp, sooner, Toothless FNGs: None COUNT: 7 CONDITIONS: Frosty
WARMUP: Lap around track, 11s (pullups and Lt Dans)
THE THANG: Perpetual Motion Routine, 1 PAX was timer with kettlebell, remaining PAX deconstructed burpees.
MARY: Plank meeting, dealers choice.
MOLESKINE: Don’t be a LinkedIn Lunatic.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Merkin Madness, After Hours, Texas Tuesday next week with sooner, The Merchant Murder Mystery Night, Grow School on March 14th with Derby at insane_train. Check Slack for more.
COT: Betty Ford travel, Toothless family needs
PLAYLIST: – Warmup: Watsky, x Infinity – Thang: Fountains of Wayne, Welcome Interstate Managers

“Die Hard” – A Christmas Workout

AO: greenmachine
Q: Matador , EZ-Go
PAX: Shy Guy, Esposa, Hipster, Cowboy, Chunks, Grape, Topanga, Matador, Pep, EZ-Go, The Merchant
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: As cold as Christmas on the 30th floor of a skyscraper with the windows blown out

WARMUP: OYO party: SSH, Good mornings, Willie Mays, broga, etc

THE THANG: DIE HARD

Ascend 30 floors up Nakatomi Tower
-Run the Bleachers many times

Survive against terrorist-thieves, lead by Matador
Start in Endzone 
Bearcrawl (thru glass) to 50 yard line
20 burpees (climb up elevator shaft)
Peter parker to other endzone (crawl thru AC vent)
50 calf raises bc your feet hurt from glass
Bearcrawl back to 50 yard line
20 burpees
Peter Parker to original endzone
50 calf raises

Hostage Rescue Relay, lead by Matador
Partners — 1 person doing SSH while waiting
1 person sprint out to 30 yards
30 high knees (escaping down 30 floors)
Sprint back, switch places
Do this a bunch of times. There are many hostages

Hans Gruber hangs and falls to his death, lead by EZ-Go
Partners – 1 does a dead hang until failure
Other partner does V-Ups
Switch and do again, many times

The Final Shot, lead by EZ-Go
Reginald VelJohnson (Al) shoots final terrorist for John McClane
Partners – 1 of you takes the bullet (burpees) – the other… shoots the shot? Somehow related to the plot (full sprint across field and back) 

MOLESKINE: spoiler: they’re not actually terrorists, they’re just regular old German thieves.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: this is what slack is for

COT: prayers for challenges related to divorce, family hardships during Christmas travels. Gratitude for Shy Guy’s new baby.

4-31

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Matador
PAX: Cowboy, Betty Ford, Toothless, sooner, Barney, Matador
FNGs: None
COUNT: 6
CONDITIONS: cold and dry

WARMUP: stretching, broga, SSH

THE THANG: 4 rounds. 5 exercises per round. 40 reps of everything first round, 30 reps of everything second round, etc. Laps in between.

Round 1: 40 reps
1. Merkins
2. WWIs
3. Squats
4. Freddie Mercuries (2 is 1)
5. Mountain climbers (2 is 1)

Run around the parking lot
***meet in gated area with brick wall

Round 2: 30 reps
1. Burpees
2. Box jumps
3. Shoulder tap merkins (each side)
4. Dry docks
5. Iron mikes (2 is 1)

Run around the parking lot
***meet at home base

Round 3: 20 reps
1. Cowboy giddy up
2. Lunges (2 is 1)
3. V-Ups
4. Wide merkins
5. Monkey humpers

Run around the parking lot
***meet at front of school (swingset area)

Round 4: 10 reps
1. Diamond merkins
2. Split squats (10 each leg)
3. Pull-ups
4. Slow A-Rods
5. Decline merkins (bench)

Run around parking lot
*meet at home base

<5 mins left…
Do 1 rep of everything!

MOLESKINE: what is this

ANNOUNCEMENTS: check slack. Ugly sweater party, Christmas Eve drop-in at Peabody’s, NY day convergence at stronghold.

COT: God answers prayer. Toothless house sold! Moving to new house soon. Prayers for transition.

12 Days of Christmas

AO: detention
Q: Focker
PAX: Deep State, Esposa, Topanga (Scott), Accounts Receivable, Matador, Movin On Up, Pedialyte, Harry Caray, Andrew McDermott, Michael Freiburg, Kraut, Florida Man
FNGs: 1 Florida Man
COUNT: 13
CONDITIONS: cold cold cold

WARMUP: stretches, snow angels, toy soldiers, reindeer run

THE THANG:
1 curl with descending/lift the kid to bed
2 thrusters lift the trees
3 sit ups with bag
4 pull throughs/slide the box
5 squats/lift the box
6 crunchy frogs
7 overhead presses/lift the kid
8 squats
9 flutters
10 descending merkins/fill the sweater
11 lunges fill the pants
12 120 plank

Followed by 3 sprints and some gut work

MOLESKINE: FNG Paul getting out after Butterball Crawl. Excellent job Pedialyte and EZ-Go on the connection!

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 51 weeks for us to brainstorm on Butterball Crawl improvements and advertising

COT: prayers for Andrew McDermott friend and Harry Caray mother.

5:40 free men’s workout

AO: cruelhall
Q: Works for a Guy
PAX: Accounts Receivable, Matador, Esposa, Harry Caray, Pedialyte, EZ-Go, Tinkertoy, Works for a Guy, I am missing someone. Who am I missing??? I was a bit discombobulated with the late wake up.
FNGs: None
COUNT: 9
CONDITIONS: brisk but not cold

WARMUP: I don’t know. I wasn’t there

THE THANG: yo boy woke up at 5:33 so that was awkward

But anyway I pulled up at 5:40:

Get block

11s with dips and burpees – farmers carry in between

20 each

curls
Overhead press
Squats
block pick ups

Run – 5 pullups

Tricep extensions
Rows
calf raises each leg
WWIs

Run – 10 pullups

Repeat once

Time

ANNOUNCEMENTS: turkey day at the Hall. 7am. EZ-Go has way too many pancakes for it.

COT: continue to pray for Dale Clay and family

Help I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up

AO: cruelhall
Q: Tinkertoy
PAX: Matador, Works for a Guy, Esposa, Kraut, Pedialyte, Harry Caray, Focker, Pound Puppy
FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
CONDITIONS: Optimal at 56*

WARMUP:
Dynamic: mosey/toy soldier/donkey kick/side lunge.
Static: GMs/bow to ground/hand to sky/broga/squat to straight leg

THE THANG:
3 rounds
-30 step ups (15 each leg)
-lunge down
-mosey back
Hold plank until all in or go for an extra round

3 rounds
-25 chair squats
-low prisoner walk down
-mosey back
Hold plank until all in or go for an extra round

3 rounds
-20 pistol squats (10 each leg)
-side lunge down
-mosey back
Hold plank until all in or go for an extra round

Beep test (20meters)
-go until no one is left
Jog around test until all in

Marry abb circle for 3min.

MOLESKINE: Focker would rather run than participate in leg day. Works for a Guy defeated the beep test. Matador and Harry Caray honorable mention.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Butterball run

COT: Prayers for Dale’s family and community as they deal with sudden loss. Reminder that life is fragile. Prayers for Pound Puppies family as his work travel picks up.

Mid Terms

AO: greenmachine
Q: Hipster
PAX: Cowboy, Focker, Shania, Squatter, Topanga, Grape, Esposa, Chunks, Movin On Up, Matador, Black Lung
FNGs: None
COUNT: 12
CONDITIONS: Cool and damp

WARMUP: Quick WAR

THE THANG: TEST TIME

AMRAP 20 seconds, rest 10 seconds, 8 sets of each movement, recording # of reps for each set:

– Mercans
– Sit Ups
– Squats
– 2 Count Flutters
– Dips

BEEP TEST – run a lot until you can’t

MOLESKINE: The next test day will be the end of January, start training now!

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Check slack

COT: TAPs for Grape, Ginger, Hipster, and urrybody else going through stuff.