MARCH 12TH MAN VISION AND VALUE

VISION:

Def: Unusual competence in discernment or perception: intelligent foresight

VALUE

Def: Worth in usefulness to the possessor: utility or merit. A principle, standard or quality considered worthwhile or desirable.  

I felt as if I was walking with destiny, and that all my past life had been but a preparation for this hour and for this trial

Sir Winston Churchill

My premise is that a true leader is defined by how he handles and comes through disruption.  This disruption leads to clarity, the true leader now has a context for living out his life.  Through this context a True Leader’s Vision now becomes crystallized in such a way that he can add long term Value to his wife, his family, his community, his world and his legacy.  

Lately I have been reading authors like John Eldredge, Pat Lencioni Tommy Newberry and Michael Gerber.  While they don’t articulate the D2C2V like I have, they all are in unison on the concept of Vision. Think about the above definition “unusual competence”, “intelligent foresight” if you have no context how can you have any Vision for the future?

How does an unusual competence or intelligent foresight relate to a Vision for you life?  It starts with being unusual, it is not the norm, not something that the donut makers, clock watchers and the “here for the party” guys understand.  Being unusual in a usual world is what F3 is all about…0530, the Gloom, CSAUP, leading others for free. To reinvigorate male leadership into our communities it takes being unusual.  

Competence is defined as the state or quality of being adequately or well qualified…a specific range of skill, knowledge or ability.  Now if we are all accelerating on a daily basis our level of competency will improve and we will become those HIM that are unusually competent. It is by competence that we have the courage and the wherewithal to take on tasks that are visionary, that have something bigger than today attached to them.  

Intelligent foresight is a phrase that I think best describes Vision.  Anyone can have the foresight to know certain things from time to time, hell a broken clock is right twice a day.  What does it look like to be intelligent in your vision for the future? It is a unique understanding of where you came from (Disruption), where you are going (Clarity), and how you will get there (Context).  The Vision and the Value add are the target and the legacy respectively.

Let’s take a look at a couple of HIM that have cast a Vision that will harvest long term Value.  

Above all else, a warrior has a vision, he has a transcendance to his life, a cause greater than self preservation.

John Eldredge

If you have ever been around Red Skull you would be hard pressed to argue that he doesn’t have a Vision for his life that adds long term Value to those around him.  For the uninitiated, Red Skull came to F3 via an EH from Toga. Red Skull runs an organization here in town called 413 Strong where we hold our AO The Stronghold.  This is the Vision for 413 and the Vision Red Skull has for his life: Our vision is to create a path to legitimacy, independence and self-sufficiency for men who are looking to radically improve their lives.  

Red Skull and his partners sold their company several years ago and was subsequently introduced to 413 Strong.  Sure, as a successful suit, Red Skull could have opted for another company to grow, build and sell; he could have sold his consulting services to the highest bidder; heck he could have been a mentor at the EC downtown.  Instead, Red Skull had a Vision to change the trajectory of men’s lives who for whatever reason had the cards stacked against them.

Red Skull’s Vision for changing lives, making communities better and instilling a walk of faith in men sounds very similar to what DREDD and OBT started that all of us have bought into.  

How does Red Skull’s Vision create Value?  Take a look at the success stories on their website, ask the employers that have put his guys to work, ask the families of the 413 guys, ask Isiah.  

We all have a Vision in our inmost being.  That Vision needs to be crystallized in order to be shared so that it can add long term Value to those around us.  Ask Red Skull how he came up with his Vision, I am sure he would love to share.

One of the other PAX that I learned True Leadership from through the concept of Vision and Value is Umbrella.  Umbrella was EH’d by DREDD and OBT through the Art of Manliness podcast after having recently moved to Brentwood from Kentucky.  Ya’ll may know him as the AOQ for The Racetrack, I have also come to know him as a HIM with a Vision that all of us can aspire to and as a HIM that is creating long term Value for those around him.  

Looking through Umbrella’s Twitter bio, you see a lot of the usual…Husband, Dad, Insurance Broker, F3er.  If you observe his life you would see him as a Mentor, a Philanthropist, a Connector, a Leader. I had the good fortune to spend the weekend with Umbrella and his boys last summer at F3 Dads camp sponsored by F3 Birmingham.  With the exception of Insurance Broker, I saw him exhibit all of the other ways I describe him.  

Back in Middle Tennessee I can also see the Vision that Umbrella has cast for his life as he mentors the men in his office.  Also, as you may have experienced, Umbrella is one of the most vocal PAX petitioning for the importance of the 2nd and 3rd Fs of F3.  Umbrella is a member of a business owner’s group here in town, C12, that has a mission of sharing Jesus with their employees, their vendors and their customers through their work.  

How does Umbrella pick up the mantle of Philanthropist?  Again, don’t ask him, take a look at his Twitter feed and look at all the things the company he leads, VMI, is involved in that are focused on making families whole and on the betterment of our community.  Men of Valor, Nashville Rescue Mission, 2nd Harvest, United Way, Catholic Diocese of Middle Tennessee and the list goes on.

The greatest example of Umbrella’s true leadership through his Vision creating long term Value comes from a tweet he posted on 3 October 2018; it is a letter from one of his boys telling people who his dad is.  A True Leader exhibits Vision creating Value in such a way that those around him are impacted and leaves a palpable legacy behind.  

The two greatest days of a man’s life are the day he was born and the day he realizes why.

Mark Twain

As I reflect upon what I have learned about leadership through the Vision creating Value concept I am quick to realize that our actions, our intentions and our investments speak much louder that our words about them.  So, as you think through and ponder what your Vision is and how that will instill long term Value, listen to your heart, to what has been written on your soul by your maker and then follow that still small voice.

Parting shot:

I leave you with a snapshot of my Vision statement which I argue creates long term Value as a point of future discussion and to ask you to hold me accountable for that which I am writing:

I love my Maker well by having an ongoing, interactive and vibrant relationship with Him.

I love my wife well by pursuing her while at the same time dying to myself.

I love my children well as an encourager, pointing them to Jesus and being the chief repenter in our family.

I love my friends well by drawing out their best, helping them articulate their why and accelerating to their articulated purpose.

I love my community well by being part of a movement to reinvigorate male leadership in that community.  

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Teddy Roosevelt

 

March 12th Man DISRUPTION

DISRUPTION

Def: The opposite of stasis and the status quo…DREDD refers to disruption in F1 as the key to influencing movement to advantage.  In this scenario, the LEADER is the Agent of Disruption; I would like to take a different perspective and look at DISRUPTION from another vantage point in this post.  As a reader of this post, I hazard a guess that you fancy yourself a LEADER.  In that case, how as a LEADER do you (or I for that matter) respond in the face of DISRUPTION?

As a disrupter, you … “Initiate Movement” – DREDD  or “Take the High Ground before the High Ground takes you” – JOCKO.

Those quotes are apropos and words to live by when you are taking the fight to the enemy, when you are in flow with LEADERSHIP. What happens when you aren’t the AGENTS OF DISRUPTION but rather the subjects or recipients of DISRUPTION?  In those times, your response is where the GoRuck, GROWRuck, CSAUP, your Qs are worth their proverbial weight in gold.

As you read this, think of a time when you have been the subject of DISRUPTION.  Travel to that place for a few minutes with me and allow me to hit you with this:

TRUE LEADERSHIP IS FORGED IN US DURING TIMES OF DISRUPTION

This concept has been on my mind for quite some time.  As I reflected upon the HIM among us that have really drawn me in during their DISRUPTION I landed on two specifically (I know there are many others just as exemplary) to illustrate how they taught me TRUE LEADERSHIP in the face of DISRUPTION.  I will close with what I have learned over the last 7 months as a 43 year old father of three and husband of one without a job who is awaiting the next chapter to be opened.

PAX – EBOLA

DISRUPTION – Job opportunity of a Lifetime in North Carolina.

I have known EBOLA for a long time, probably as long as anyone I am close to in F3 going back at least 7 or 8 years.  The first thing I can say about EBOLA is that he is a HIM amongst HIM. This is not his first dance with the quick footed partner of disruption and certainly won’t be his last.  And although he’s been to many a DISRUPTION rodeo and been thrown at each time, he has managed to dust HIMself off and get back after it each time.

The first lesson I learned from EBOLA is that he has a strong and deep faith; EBOLA has leaned into that faith as he waded through this big, life changing DISRUPTION.

Secondly, EBOLA knows who he is, how the Sky Q has designed HIM and who he is here to serve.  So, to rip off “The Rock” EBOLA knows his role and knows there is NO ONE else that can play that role.

Lastly, EBOLA has a mission to complete and the first target has been identified for him.  All of us will have a mission to complete (should we choose to enlist). For most of us it will look different than anyone else’s mission.

What I learned about LEADERSHIP from EBOLA in the midst of DISRUPTION: faith, role and mision are the keys to success.  

PAX – Grease Trap

Disruption – The loss of his oldest child, Job

If you have been around F3Nashville or F3Franklin for any amount of time, you have likely heard a bit of Grease Trap’s story, and that he and Katie lost Job late in the summer of 2017.  Let me stop for a quick sec, we didn’t “lose” Job, he simply went home ahead of us and is there now working on some sweet BATMAN artwork to share with us all.

So, how did the battle Job fought with cancer and his reunion with Jesus teach me leadership through Grease Trap?  There are some HIM I know that emit grace but let me assure you, there are none that did it then and continue to emit grace like Grease Trap.  The way he continued to pursue Jesus and at the same time continue to pursue the HIM of F3Nashville and F3Franklin is a study in true servant leadership.  Grease Trap did these things while continuing to serve Katie, love his family well and run a very successful business. His needs, while many, during the summer of 17 always seemed to pale in comparison to how well he loved Job, Katie, Zeke and Penny.  

Grease Trap’s singular goal was to get Job well.  He was always thinking of Job, Katie and the family while continuing to seek a brotherhood to protect and provide for him, to strengthen him and to give him rest.  The grace, vulnerability, passion and purpose Grease Trap showed us all that summer is true leadership and that continues today as Job’s memory lives on.

What I learned about LEADERSHIP from Grease Trap in the midst of DISRUPTION: You  must be others focused, knowing you are not alone that there is a fellowship that seeks to protect you and you must live a life full of purpose.

PAX – Bagger Vance

DISRUPTION – leaving multiple jobs seeking the silver bullet to success

As some of you may know, I left my job this past July with no back up plan, no options, and nothing even remotely on the horizon work wise.  I’d like to say I am like William Borden  but that just isn’t the case.

This self induced disruption has taught me vast amounts about leadership, here are some of my takeaways:

God is in Control…true leadership is making the next right decision based upon the choices in front of you while staying target focused and goal oriented.  We have to surrender our will to God’s plan for our lives. I used to say that I was guilty of pushing God aside to grab the typewriter so I could crank out a few lines of my story, telling Him to add them to the chapter.  How foolish?! It wasn’t until recently that I realized the story had already been written (with NO EDITS), printed and published…it is up to me to play the unique role only I can play.

Leslie (and my children) need my attention, consideration and provision (not always financial).  I was unable to die to myself until my identity (insert the jobs I have had ever since more money became my idol) was torched.  This burning of the boats forced me into one of two corners…self pity (the doldrums of the Mascot) or selflessness (the goal of the HIM).  By the Grace of God, I chose selflessness and man did it SUCK at the beginning. Over time, I realized I had no choice but to die to myself and completely surrender to Jesus.  This allows me to walk fully, faithfully and finally with Him.

My biggest idol is comparison and competition.  I finally realized, though I still struggle with it daily that comparison and competition is about as life giving as a steady diet of Doughnuts, Frappe Mochachino Lattes and porn.  Real leadership is leveraging yourself to serve others, to elevate them to the places they aspire to be, i.e. to a position of advantage.

In my own DISRUPTION, this is what I learned about LEADERSHIP – Someone Bigger than me is in control.  Provision for those closest to you allows you to truly come alive.  If you’re not a servant first, you will never be a true leader.

I hope this helps as you come face to face with DISRUPTION in your life.  Or as you are coming through DISRUPTION.  Or as you round the corner to  DISRUPTION.

PARTING SHOT: As LEADERS, should we seek circumstantial disruption or circumstances that will DISRUPT us and welcome that into our lives?

 

Resume Virtues vs Eulogy Virtues

As I was reading an obituary today, I reminded that I still haven’t seen “proficient at Excel”, “knew his way around a CRM” or “put together one of the best P&L sheets I’ve ever seen” in an obituary byline. Obituaries are saved for things that we really remember people for. What was the difference they made? How did they serve? How did they take care of those in their care?

As a leader, what are you focusing on today in terms of what you will be remembered by? How will you make a difference, even if it’s small, in the life of someone today? How will you make people feel today that are under your care? How will you find a way to serve those that you are leading?

This is not to say that as a manager or a leader, you shouldn’t be expecting the very best out of people in terms of their expectations or behaviors. But are you expecting the best because of how it reflects on you OR are you expecting the best because you can help someone achieve their goals?

The author David Brooks has an article that explores just this topic. The résumé virtues are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that are talked about at your funeral — whether you were kind, brave, honest or faithful. Were you capable of deep love?

As a leader, I’d invite you to read this article today and think about how you can better cultivate eulogy virtues.