Q: Sooie
PAX: Pitmaster, Tebow, morning stār, Derby, El Capitan, Half Lyfe, Ex-Pat, Sooie, Tonks (2.0), Fish Biscuit (2.0), Eagle (2.0), Bumblebee (2.0), Rubicks (2.0), Gabby Cat (2.0), Foxy (2.0)
FNGs: None
COUNT: 15
CONDITIONS:
On the rain-lashed knoll, beneath a sky of iron-wrought clouds, the sodden grasses cling to our boots like the tendrils of some voidborn beast. The air, thick with mist, melds garb to flesh in the cool, sunless, morning light.
WARMUP:
As the chrono strikes 0530, our band of 12—soon to be 15—gathers. I, the Q, begin by clearly stating the non-professional capacity in which I will be leading thus deflecting all potential lawsuits of disgruntled PAX.
We rouse the frame for the tasks ahead:
• Side Straddle Hops: 12, counted in cadence
• Baby Arm Circles: 12 forward, 12 reverse, in cadence, loosening shoulders.
Lo! Silhouettes pierce the mist— Tebow, Pitmaster, and Eagle, our tardy kin, swell our ranks to 15. We trek among the three beacons outlining the tasks to undertake a live, knoll rendition of Among Us.
THE THANG:
Three stations, ~80 yards apart in a triangular constellation, bear tasks to test our mettle. Each demands 260 collective reps, with a limit of 10 per PAX per visit:
• STATION 1: Pull-Ups/Swing Rows
• STATION 2: Dips
• STATION 3: Step-Ups, (2=1)
Papers drawn from the Q’s helm decree fates: 13 bear “C” for Crewmate, scattered to Beacons 1, 2, or 3; 2 bear “I” for Imposters cloaked in guile. The quest is clear: Crewmates must complete all station reps to triumph. Imposters must snuff out the crew with a silent tap to foot or shoulder, their treachery veiled by false labor.
The fallen enter a spectral limbo, holding a plank where they have fallen ‘til a passing crewmate spies them, then cycling a torturous mantra—10 Merkins, 20 WW2 Sit-Ups, 30 Squats—until the quest’s end. Emergency councils, summoned by SSH when any PAX begins hopping and all join, convene at the site of the fallen to banish a suspected Imposter.
The Clash:
I, first to fall, am tapped by an Imposter’s stealthy touch en route to Station 1. Planking in the wet grass, I await discovery. Tebow, true witness, finds me, but the crew, blinded by doubt, casts him out in a council. We two share the spectral cycle—10, 20, 30, a grinding hymn. Another falls, a second council banishes a crewmate in error. Four now haunt Station 1’s limbo. Yet a third strike reveals an Imposter—TONKS, unmasked by suspicious deeds! With one imposter left and nine crewmates standing, the stations’ tallies dwindle—10 reps remain at each. As 0600 chimes, the crew completes the final reps, claiming victory o’er the Imposters deceit.
The Pursuit’s End:
With tasks fulfilled, we turn to primal chases—games of Infection and Toilet Tag, fleet-footed sprints across the knoll until 0615 seals our labor.
MOLESKINE:
Outdo one another in showing honor.
-Romans 12:10
We take time to honor one another. Prayer requests offered.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Check slack
COT:
Enjoyed the more laid back pace of Summer sipping Mtn. Mojo and Choco milk whilst the 2.0’s frolicked amongst the playground.
