Squatter Sendoff

Date: 2026-06-01 AO: Westeros Q: SalPal , Squatter PAX: CubCadet, Tim the Toolman, Pep, Makita (Anderson Fader), Chunks, SalPal, Shy Guy, Spinal Tap, bluemule, Squatter, The Merchant FNGs: None COUNT: 11 CONDITIONS: Exceedingly arrogant.
WARMUP: For the birds.
THE THANG:
Sally: Partner 1 Lunge Walks/Murder Bunnies, Partner 2 Swings + Pullups
Squatter: Hellish Tennis Ball Game, 22s of Merkins, Squats, Abs, moseys between every 2-3 sets.
MARY: A little bit.
MOLESKINE: Olivia Rodrigo is the OG, Shy Guy =/ Siri (let’s move on from it people), Cubby hates bunnies, murderous or otherwise.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Grow School 6/13 at the-castle, Strutter 3 Part Birthday Party this week, Ultimate 11’s on 7/11, CSAUP 50, Check Slack
COT:
Squatter, for his wife and the next 22 days as they do treatment. Pep for his quarterly review. All other intentions unspoken or unmentioned in the backblast.
Squatter, we love you to pieces, prayers and blessings as you accompany your bride in this journey. We’ve got your back. Send us pictures and let us know if you need capital to launch F3 Tiajuana. I’m sure Natural Ice can find some money in the budget for a West Coast starfish effort.
PLAYLIST:

F everything, we re doing five blades

Date: 2026-05-28 AO: Green Machine Q: moneyshot , PAX: Pep, bluemule, moneyshot, Works for a Guy, Cowboy, Shania FNGs: None COUNT: 6 CONDITIONS: moist
WARMUP: ssh, hillbillies, IW, nightclub, Phelps
THE THANG: 400m and merkins, dips, squats, ww1 with escalating 30,40,50,60 reps
MARY:
MOLESKINE: when the competition does 3 blades, go 5
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:
PLAYLIST:

Titan

Date: 2026-05-27 AO: Titan Q: Juicy J , PAX: DintyMoore, Pep, bluemule, Juicy J, Natural Ice, Big Red, Spinal Tap, The Merchant, Chunks, Squatter, Makita (Anderson Fader), CubCadet, Reddish (Fairview) FNGs: None COUNT: 13 CONDITIONS: humid as the Amazon
WARMUP: Mosey around the park. Wake up the sleeping friends of the park, side straddle hops, night clubs renamed to Imperial walkers (Chunks fault), low slow squats, Willie may Hayes, arm circles and backpacks.
THE THANG: Partner TOSS Competition. 3 rounds. Non stop squats. Step back w partner. See who can last the longest. Side straddle hops when eliminated. DintyMoore and CubCadet champs.
PARTNER RACE 3 rounds. down the park w bouncy ball. Toss ball far as you can. Sprint. Burpee. Rinse and Repeat. DintyMoore, Squatter bluemule Spinal Tap Natural Ice and many other winners.
Circle of Doom Abs to Finish.
All winners got fresh new F3 Stickers. DintyMoore was the total points champ overall and won a gourmet coffee package.
MARY:
MOLESKINE:
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Summer Fling coming up
COT: pray for our brother Squatter wife and family. Give them strength and healing. Pray for The Merchant divorce settlement Pray for Tim the Toolman Aunt passed
PLAYLIST: Nickelback and Creed and Alien music

Middle Tooth

Date: 2026-05-26 AO: Middle Tooth Q: Oatmeal , bluemule PAX: Oatmeal, DrRupp, Pep, bluemule FNGs: COUNT: 4 CONDITIONS: Moist
WARMUP: run to parking deck + trivia
THE THANG: five elements of the US army fitness test
MARY: more trivia
MOLESKINE: no idea what this is
ANNOUNCEMENTS: none
COT: we completed this
PLAYLIST: just the joy of labored breath

May the Westeros Be With You

Date: 2026-05-04 AO: Westeros Q: Vector , PAX: Papa Bear, Shy Guy, Pep, Spinal Tap, Vector, bluemule, CubCadet, Tim the Toolman, Natural Ice, Squatter, Topps FNGs: None COUNT: 11 A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (well, in Missouri in 1977), YHC was 7 and his parents took him to see Star Wars (not “Episode 4” or “A New Hope” – in my day we just had one trilogy and we liked it). Needless to say, it was incredible and unlike anything young soon-to-be-named-Vector had experience. After many sequels and countless $$$ spent on action figures (which I still have in my collectable Darth Vader head container), it remains a strong childhood memory (despite later diversions into midachloridians and Jar Jar). So to celebrate May the 4th/Star Wars Day, the PAX re-enacted that first SW movie. So let’s go shoot at whomp rats and get going . . .
CONDITIONS: Crisp and bright, like a two sun sunrise on Tattooine.
WARMUP: Stormtrooper Hops, Imperial Walkers, Little Yoda Arm Circles, Tauntaun claps, Overhead force presses, Reverse Little Yoda Arm Circles, Jar Jars (Michael Phelps)
THE THANG: #1 Take the Droids to the Old Man: Coupon Rows and Burpees (for R2 and Ben) for 22s (double because Artoo . . . )
Break to do the Kessel Run — not sure anyone made it under 12 parsecs
#2 Find a Pilot: Ring of Fire with coupon presses — all made it and were deemed worthy pilots
#3 Rescue the Princess: Lunges (for Leia) and Star Jumps in a round of 11s (representing the 11 live action released SW films — sorry, Mando – your film ain’t out yet so doesn’t count)
#4 Attack the Death Star Ring of Fire with merkins and advance into circle with each rep.
Mary: Force flutter kicks, Bounty Hunter Boxcutters, Death Star Dollys
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Check Slack – Holy Smokers, Juicy J marathon
COT: – Prayers for Squatter and his M and 2.0. While the workout and theme was done in fun, life can be serious. We lift up Squatter and his family — know that you have many brothers here to offer payers, support, love, anything you need.
RANDOM NOTES: – Appreciate the level of SalPal’s SW nerdom – Appreciate bluemule noting halfway through the work out that there was no way we’d get through all of the movie plots in time (Hmm, Empire next week?) – Glad I could feed Natural Ice’s Weird Al fandom once again with 2 deep cuts – It ain’t easy to plan a full playlist with SW themed songs, but I did have the disco version of SW theme that went to number one on the charts (it was 1977: all we had was disco, Star Wars and cocaine . . . )
PLAYLIST: Star Wars Main Title – John Williams/London Symph Orchestra Cantina Band – John Williams/London Symph Orchestra The Saga Begins – Weird Al I’m the Droid (You’re Looking For – Nerf Herder The Imperial March – John Williams/London Symph Orchestra Star Wars Theme – Meco Yoda – Weird Al Chewbacca – Supernova Return of the Jedi – Alex Jean The Empire Strikes Back – Meco Dual of the Fates – John Williams/London Symph Orchestra The Throne Room/End Titles – John Williams/London Symph Orchestra

Westeros

Date: 2026-04-27 AO: Westeros Q: Michelin Man , Vector PAX: Michelin Man, Grape, Papa Bear, bluemule, Vector, DintyMoore, Pep, Floss FNGs: None COUNT: 8 CONDITIONS: spring has sprung
WARMUP: back and hip exercises
THE THANG: see the pic
MOLESKINE:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:
PLAYLIST:

Green Machine

Date: 2026-04-23 AO: Green Machine Q: Focker , PAX: Young and Restless, Squatter, Esposa, bluemule, Focker, EZ-Go, SalPal, Horizon, Pep, Topanga (Scott), Cowboy, Wham-O, moneyshot, Andrew McDermott, Pepsi, Swig, Matador, Black Lung, Pedialyte, Puzzlah, Betty Ford, SquareD FNGs: None COUNT: 22 CONDITIONS: chill in the air that gave way to dripping sweat
WARMUP: walking from your car
THE THANG: 400m burpee broad jump, 400m lunges, 400m bear crawl, 400m run
MOLESKINE: everyone can’t wait for next year. I’ll make sure to give the countdown weekly
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Murder Mile in 365 days
COT: laughing and hugging and holding hands
PLAYLIST: Cowboy with the assist

Last man standing!!!

Date: 2026-01-21 AO: titan Q: Choo Choo PAX: Spinal Tap, Sherlock, Tim the Toolman, Hipster, Stumbles, Natural Ice, Drop Trow, Pep, Vector, bluemule FNGs: None COUNT: 11 WARMUP: some warmup with 5 core principles
THE THANG: Thang: we did 2 rounds of each Partner up. Keep pushing till one of you give up -> easy mosey -> switch partners HiFi merkins Curls American Hammers OH Press American hammers Swings
MOLESKINE: Its better to be a hole than a sink hole. A hole is something that you can see on the surface, you would know how wide, deep it is. But a sinkhole looks all good on the surface, it keeps corroding within then one fine day collapses, taking everything down with it.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: check out after-hours leanpax
TCLAPS to Tim the Toolman for being a HIM and getting blocks on demand.

LeanPax: Day 19

AO: westeros
Q: Michelin Man , Vector
PAX: Vector, Siri, Tim the Toolman, SalPal, bluemule, Grape, CubCadet, Michelin Man, Pep, Drop Trow
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS: cold. Not effin cold tho.

WARMUP: 41 SSH

THE THANG:

DORA – partners do:
100 – squat thrusters
200 – Chest press
300 – Curls
Travel- overhead carry block to car and back

LT Dans down the hill
Sprints – 50, 80, and 110%
Return to Startex

Cool Guy Mary

MOLESKINE: Thankful for MLK.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: LeanPax forever

COT: did it

Parking Garage of Glutes

AO: handsomizer
Q: Natural Ice , Spinal Tap
PAX: Spinal Tap, Old Maid, Freakonomics, bluemule, Natural Ice, Swamper, Lance Brock
FNGs: 1 Lance Brock
COUNT: 7
CONDITIONS: Wet and Wild

WARMUP: SSH, Stretchin, Merks

THE THANG: -Ran to the Parking Garage-
Natural Ice wanted to keep it simple
11s -Merks on one level and WW1s on the other – Keep it moving

Then Spinal Tap – went for A Dora, single leg glut bridges, reverse lunges, Romanian Split Squats, Advanced Alabama Prom Dates.

Lots of Running and Glute exercises

MOLESKINE: You only get wet once

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Holy Smokers Thursday night,

Spinal Tap & Natural Ice launching a small group this wednesday night. Kick off is 6:45 at Hopping River North – with Trivia

COT: Prayers lifted!