Dora for everyone

AO: greenmachine
Q: Pep
PAX: Chunks, Cowboy, Grape, moneyshot, Sherlock, Matador, Esposa, Betty Ford, Black Lung
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS: cool but wet ground

WARMUP: none

THE THANG:
– dora-ish
– one partner runs in a rectangle (endzone to 50 yard line to sideline to endzone back to sideline)
– while other partner doing a slower movement
– switch when first partner meets second partner
– slower movements:
– komodo dragon
– murder bunnies
– bear crawls
– reversies
– dora:
– exercises:
– 50 mericans
– 100 windshield wipers (each side half)
– 150 fire hydrants (each side half)
– 11’s
– exercises:
– mericans
– squats

COT:
prayers:
– esposa’s wife’s shoulder (going to doctor to find out what to do) prayer for jumping children
– grape’s knee cap (the michelangelo anterior davinci metaclorian tendon is the medical term)
– cowboy’s uncle had a stroke

Big Freedia, Small % of Completed Passes

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Pole Dancer
PAX: Cocktail, TheShield, sooner, Oatmeal, Matador, Toothless, Young and Restless, Focker, bluemule, Esposa, Betty Ford, DrRupp, Steve Austin, Joe Dickey
FNGs: None
COUNT: 15
CONDITIONS: Dewy and Cool

WARMUP: Quick mosey to the fields, active warmup, stretching OYO while delivering instructions for the thang

THE THANG: DORA and Ultimate Frisbee! Set to the rhythmic stylings of New Orleans bounce tunes (obviously a fan favorite of the PAX)

Paired off for a DORA buy-in proceeding some all-offense ultimate!

50x Supermans
100x Burpees
150x Squats
200x Mountain Climbers

Once completed, we split into teams for a half field offense-focused frisbee scrimmage. Each possession ends in either a point for the offense (scoring a goal) or a point for the defense (a turnover). At the end of the possession, go back to the start and switch who’s on offense. Loser of the point performed 5 merkins.

After some lackluster attempts at offense, we instituted a game-wide 10 burpee penalty for each subsequent possession that did not end in a goal. The result was 4 straight possessions that did not end in a goal.

Moral of the story: Middle Tooth plays STIFLING defense (and our completion % more than 10 yards downfield was worse than Jayson Tatum’s 3 point % last night).

MOLESKINE: Welcome to three PAX downrange, come back around next time you’re in town!

Also great to see a return of TheShield!

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Brewsday today, first beers on moneyshot! Yours truly will be in attendance, see y’all there!

COT: Prayers for the dearly departed

PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6UTW304bCrgZQ8Tu1aoRpX?si=a7936594a5e148ee

Field Day

AO: greenmachine
Q: Firefox
PAX: Betty Ford, Shania, moneyshot, Sherlock, Pep, t-cell, Young and Restless, Esposa, Matador, LB, Steam, High Heels
FNGs: None
COUNT: 13
CONDITIONS: Perfectly fine

WARMUP: PAX split up into 2 groups and did a rice bag run twice around the track. We welcomed :downrange: posters from Knoxville Steam and High Heels during the run. t-cell was missing his LBAC.

THE THANG: With the school year coming to a close, in the grand tradition of I Have No Idea Why, we held our very own haphazard Field Day celebration. If you haven’t witnessed or been a part of one of these, everyone gathers and participates in random events. Sometimes there are winners, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Part 1: Partner Races – PAX partnered up, starting at the end zone and raced down to mid-field and back.
– Race 1 – Wheelbarrow (with partners swapping places at mid-field)
– Race 2 – Leap Frog
There were winners! Hurray!

Part 2: Rice Bag Relays – PAX split into 4 groups. 1 member of each team traveled 30 yards and back with the rice bag, handing off to the next member of the team. All others held a plank.
– Race 1 – Run
– Race 2 – Run
– Race 3 – Run
– Race 4 – Broad Jumps (which maybe were more like Bunny Hops)
There was a bit that I did not explain well at all in which a winning team’s cone was pushed back 5 yards as a “reward”… but yeah, we kinda abandoned that part. Also, Pep and t-cell turned this into a contact sport.

Also, some teams won! Some more than others.

Part 3: Rice Bag Relay – Even Ricier
The 4 teams consolidated to two teams and did a zipper relay with the ricebag. PAX got on their six, alternating position so that the person next to you was facing toward you (like teeth in a zipper). 1st team member did a WW1 with the rice bag overhead and passed to the next team member, then ran down to the end of the line. Teams passed the rice bag this way to the 30yd line and back.

Part 4: Wind Screws Everything Up
We attempted to play “Flip the Cone” but, in addition to having one less player, the wind was flipping over any upside-down cone. So, the first round was ended prematurely. We modified to scatter short cones in the middle of a 30x15yd play area. Teams lined up at opposite ends and had to travel to pick up a (single) cone and bring it (a single cone) back to their starting line. We did 2 or 3 rounds of this with bear crawls and another round with murder bunnies.

Part 5: Pick up all the crap I brought

Part 6: Back at Startex, 20 V-ups and 30s of a hollow body hold

MOLESKINE:
– Some poor explaining on my part and some unfortunately windy conditions. But we were flexible and everyone was a good sport. Except that t-cell guy.
– Loved getting to use the big field and track. Hopefully I’ll be invited back to Q again!
– I did not have blue ribbons. Instead we had donut holes. Thanks to Betty Ford for bringing the coffee.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: N/A

COT:
– Matador family health scare
– YHC dealing with workforce reductions on team

Roll the Dice

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Subway
PAX: Oatmeal, Focker, DrRupp, Toothless, sooner, Pole Dancer, Betty Ford, Esposa, TheShield, Hot Water
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: warm 68ish

WARMUP: SSH, Stretching, Mosey

THE THANG:

Buy in before each roll:
10 SSH; next roll 10 squats; next roll 10 burpees – repeat

Based on dice roll – go to that number station:
And perform 25 reps of each movement

Station 1
Americans
Ranger Americans
HR Americans
High Low Americans

Station 2
Curls
CPRs
Rows
Lawnmowers

Station 3
Lunges
Squats
Seesaw Lunges
Calf Raises

Station 4
Overhead Press
Taint Scrapper
Thruster
Truck Drivers

Station 5
American hammers
Mtn Climbers
Flutter Kicks
BBSU

Station 6
Chest press
Grave diggers
Side Bends
Blockees (my fav :face_with_spiral_eyes:)

Ended with three minutes of Mary ab work

MOLESKINE:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Wings were good; Brewsday May 6th

COT: grateful to get out there on a beautiful Tuesday AM with you all! Thanks for letting me lead.

Impossible/Manly/Murder Mile

AO: greenmachine
Q: Focker
PAX: Betty Ford, Toothless, SalPal, Pep, Cowboy, Pole Dancer, Works for a Guy, t-cell, Black Lung, moneyshot, Young and Restless, Esposa, Matador, Shania, Topanga
FNGs: None
COUNT: 16
CONDITIONS: Moist

WARMUP: Drive your car to the workout

THE THANG:
400 meter burpee broad jump :burpee:
400 meter lunge :leg:
400 meter bear crawl :teddy_bear:
400 meter “run” :man-running:

MOLESKINE: -the bear crawl makes the burpee broad jump feel like the lunges
-Works for a Guy unsurprisingly took the crown
-everyone was under one hour!
-coffee, Purity chocolate milk, and Donut Den treats provided (thanks Toothless!)
-one of my new favorite traditions is this horrible mile
ANNOUNCEMENTS: see ya next year!

COT: I think everyone wrestled with their respective higher power during the bear crawls

Middle Tooth Mafia

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Goose
PAX: Toothless, Topanga, Oatmeal, Matador, Esposa, DrRupp, sooner, Betty Ford, LB, The Shield
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Perfect

WARMUP: Willie Mays Hays, Cherry Pickers, Goog Mornings, Arm Stretches, Arm Circles

THE THANG:
– 2 laps native american runs
– 150 Merkins, WW1s, with run between every 25 reps.
– Lunges: 3 trips down and back with 10 squats every 10 strides.
– Circle of Mary, fielders choice, 20 reps max

ANNOUNCEMENTS: nightmoves tonight!

Holy Week 2025

AO: greenmachine
Q: sooner
PAX: t-cell, Grape, Pep, Matador, moneyshot, Black Lung, Esposa, Betty Ford, Cowboy, Focker
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Glorious and Maundy

WARMUP: dynamic

THE THANG:

“AI can’t make this up”

Palm Sunday – Palm Swap – split up into two groups, line up in plank on opposite sides of the field, last pax sprints to front of opposite line until both lines meet in the middle

Stations of the cross – 12s: star jumps and crunchy frogs; travel is beak crawl/crawl bear; 10 yards

Maundy Thursday – Washing of the feet; stairs

Good Friday – lunge walk and 2 x double plank burpees at 10 yards; 60 yards

Holy Saturday – ring of fire

Easter – up downs to “christ the lord is risen today”

MOLESKINE:
Easter

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Grape is singing in his church choir and he invites you to come see him sing. He’s a tenor.

COT: Matador’s international students event

Back to High School

AO: greenmachine
Q: Pole Dancer
PAX: moneyshot, Pep, Black Lung, Betty Ford, Shania, Esposa, LB
FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
CONDITIONS: Drizzly

WARMUP: Mosey through the field house and onto the track for a lap, dynamic warmups and stretching on the field

THE THANG: reworked exercises back from my high school soccer and track days;

1. Corners!

Run diagonally across the field, corner to corner. Exercise on the corner, karaoke the width of the field to the next corner, exercise. Repeat ad nauseum.

Exercises x20:
– Merkins/Dry Docks
– Squats/Iron Mikes
– Supermans/Lateral Supermans
– WW1s/Diamond Sit-ups

2. Stair Jumpers (stadium steps)
– jump up one stair at a time, right leg
– one stair at a time, left leg
– one stair, both legs
– two stairs, both legs
– three stairs, both legs
– two stairs, both legs
– one stair, both legs

Mosey to the parking lot and 10 minutes of Mary.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: BBQ Sunday, Night Moves in East on Saturday

COT: Prayers for my wife and puppy as they recover from their respective surgeries, folks dealing with storm damage, those on the job hunt.

Appreciate the hospitality from the Green Machine crew!

Playlist: Passin’ Me By Radio
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1E8ENeNzGVJ3Q3?si=1108794c46db4ab3

Fly, you fools! 🧙‍♂️

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Toothless
PAX: Betty Ford, Focker, Topanga (Scott), Pole Dancer, Esposa, Oatmeal, Matador, sooner, DrRupp, Hot Water
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: One more nippy day, still warm comparably. Slippery on the grass though, conducive for injury.

WARMUP:
– SSH x 25
– Air presses x 10
– Michael Phelps x 10
– Willy Mays Hays x 10
– Carrot pullers x 10
– Scorpions x 10

THE THANG: Fly, you fools! :male_mage:

Mosey to tennis courts to the horns and drums of Howard Shore…

Defend Helm’s Deep
– Tag based capture the flag
– 10 x merkins to reset as a defender
– 10 x squats to reset as an attacker
– Mutual tags are allowed
– Downed players can be tagged to reset their count
– Attackers win when flag is captured and returned
– 7 minute cap, swap and play other side

Ride of the Rohirrim
– Rohirrim run across field between baseball diamonds, dark forces of Easterlings and Haradrim tag (a la sharks & minnows)
– Tagged players go back to start after performing 10 burpees, hold plank through next waves until all are tagged
– Teams swap positions and repeat
– Cut field in half and all bear crawl instead of run
– Teams swap positions and repeat

Last March of the Hobbits
– “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” – Samwise Gamgee
– Travel “there and back again” across the field
– Team must always be carrying one man, others are lunging. Cycle men out from the carrying group, cycling man runs to physically tag lunger who joins the carriers. All must be carried at least 20 steps, first full team to get there and back wins.

Destroy the Ring
– Overcome the mental and physical attachment to comfort with 25 burpees

Round table at the Green Dragon (Mary to time)

MOLESKINE:
All fun and games here on April Fool’s Day, evidenced by the ever industrious PAX finding ways to bend the rules to their purposes.

Defending Helm’s Deep went fairly smoothly, a few leaps over the tennis nets and an interesting tagged-but-tossing-the-flag strategy secured the win for both teams. Mutual tagging as a strategy “passed out of all knowledge” as teams fell back on a one-sided tagging approach.

Ride of the Rohirrim was not without incident – very few survivors made it across the fields though there were some very close calls. I’m sure I missed some, but I saw Topanga (Scott) absolutely lay out to tag Pole Dancer before he made it through. YHC managed to sprain an ankle while attempting to cut away from sooner, fulfilling the prophecy of all F3 games resulting in at least one injury. The bear crawl round proved to be far too difficult for the runners, with YHC being the only survivor due to playing dead under Matador after accidentally felling him in friendly fire before crawling to the end when the Eye of Sauron moved away.

Last March of the Hobbits was pretty much an instructional disaster which I will own up to, leaving much room for interpretation. After team 2 took a roaring lead by having everyone carry the one person to reduce the slowness of the lunging, team 1 copied that strategy and flew past during a switch while carrying our lightest member of the party, reminding team 2 that it was a minimum of 20 steps per person which they had misunderstood to mean only a maximum of 20 steps per person before switching. A valiant sprint was made after that reminder, but to no avail.

Almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section, but the Hobbits celebrating with a flagon at the Green Dragon were not as safe as they seemed…someone ripped a loud, juicy fart, inspiring Topanga (Scott) to comment: “Well that was straight from the eye of Sauron.” It was too much for the PAX to take, exercises suffering in quality for several minutes until Focker forced focus with his slow burn reverse leg raise.
Last but not least, almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section. Unfortunately the Hobbits at the Green Dragon weren’t as safe as they seemed…

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– brewsday is TODAY! 4:30p @ 12S Taproom!
– Spring Fling is this Sunday at the Warner parks, shelter #5, families & friends welcome!

COT:
– sooner shared
– Pole Dancer shared
– Focker shared

Grateful for the vulnerability in the CoT, PAX. YHC shared a word about the importance of fun and silliness in our every day lives, and shared appreciation for the PAX joining me in that today.

As always, it was an honor to lead, men. I’ll SYITG throughout the week!

BEACH BODS 🏖️ 💪

AO: greenmachine
Q: Toothless
PAX: Pep, Cowboy, Betty Ford, Works for a Guy, Esposa
FNGs: None
COUNT: 6
CONDITIONS: Crisp, but enjoyable. Gloomy.

WARMUP:

– 30 x SSH
– 15 x Willy Mays Hays
– 15 x High Knees
– 15 x Carrot pullers
– 15 x Windmills
– 10 x Scorpions

THE THANG: BEACH BODS :beach_with_umbrella: :muscle:

Separate into two groups, one group moves around a 50 yd box while other group busts out reps. Mosey-Shuffle-Bernie-Mosey around the box. All PAX complete all prescribed reps of the following exercises, plank and wait for all PAX in group to finish each exercise before starting the next one.

– Big boy sit ups x 50
– Euro steps x 50
– Atomic Merkins x 50
– Crab Jacks x 50
– Happy crunchy frogs x 50

– Bulgarian Split Squats x 50
– Outlaws x 50
– Dry docks x 50
– Smurf jacks x 50

MOLESKINE:

PAX made it through BEACH B’S, as YHC stressed form as the most important aspect of the workout so we took our time. Surprising how much harder these reps were when focusing on perfect form and not compensation with other muscles! Learned that Esposa has some knowledge to drop surfing and has been on his own Surfing Safaris. Pep really liked the run portion of the workout, and as usual Works for a Guy crushed the reps.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

– AOQ Grow School 3/22, stonewall @ tel:0600-0800
– Merkin challenges continue!

COT:

Prayer requests shared, along with gratefulness for ability to be out and active. Coffeeteeria was excellent thanks to Cowboy’s consistent efforts.