April Fools

AO: iiipillars
Q: Grape
PAX: princessaurora, Go Fish, Shania, Canned Heat, t-cell, Pep, Haggis, Swiffer
FNGs: None
COUNT: 9
CONDITIONS: cold again

WARMUP:

While the origins of April Fool’s day are disputed, some believe it traces all the way back to Noah, when Noah sent the dove out from the ark on April 1 while there was still water all around, which was a foolish thing to do.

SSH
5 Burpees
SSH
4 Burpees
LBAC F
3 Burpees
LBAC F
2 Burpees
LBAC R
1 Burpee
LBAC R
Stretch
Mosey, but then stop every so often to do 10 merkins

THE THANG:

Circle up and do Webb Jacks
40 OH press, 10 merkins, 10 plank jacks
36, 9, 9, etc.

Partner up Dora
400 Flutters
300 OH Press
Switch partners midway through
200 O squats
100 Leg lifts
Partner runs backwards down and back on the field

Plank until failure

Mosey back to startex

MOLESKINE: don’t get distressed when life throws chaos at you

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Plankpril, Spring Fling, Brewsday, check slack

COT: prayers for Ms. Webb, Ms. Mullis, Sam Savage, kids’ mental health, wisdom in prioritizing life’s responsibilities

:grapes:

Fly, you fools! 🧙‍♂️

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Toothless
PAX: Betty Ford, Focker, Topanga (Scott), Pole Dancer, Esposa, Oatmeal, Matador, sooner, DrRupp, Hot Water
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: One more nippy day, still warm comparably. Slippery on the grass though, conducive for injury.

WARMUP:
– SSH x 25
– Air presses x 10
– Michael Phelps x 10
– Willy Mays Hays x 10
– Carrot pullers x 10
– Scorpions x 10

THE THANG: Fly, you fools! :male_mage:

Mosey to tennis courts to the horns and drums of Howard Shore…

Defend Helm’s Deep
– Tag based capture the flag
– 10 x merkins to reset as a defender
– 10 x squats to reset as an attacker
– Mutual tags are allowed
– Downed players can be tagged to reset their count
– Attackers win when flag is captured and returned
– 7 minute cap, swap and play other side

Ride of the Rohirrim
– Rohirrim run across field between baseball diamonds, dark forces of Easterlings and Haradrim tag (a la sharks & minnows)
– Tagged players go back to start after performing 10 burpees, hold plank through next waves until all are tagged
– Teams swap positions and repeat
– Cut field in half and all bear crawl instead of run
– Teams swap positions and repeat

Last March of the Hobbits
– “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” – Samwise Gamgee
– Travel “there and back again” across the field
– Team must always be carrying one man, others are lunging. Cycle men out from the carrying group, cycling man runs to physically tag lunger who joins the carriers. All must be carried at least 20 steps, first full team to get there and back wins.

Destroy the Ring
– Overcome the mental and physical attachment to comfort with 25 burpees

Round table at the Green Dragon (Mary to time)

MOLESKINE:
All fun and games here on April Fool’s Day, evidenced by the ever industrious PAX finding ways to bend the rules to their purposes.

Defending Helm’s Deep went fairly smoothly, a few leaps over the tennis nets and an interesting tagged-but-tossing-the-flag strategy secured the win for both teams. Mutual tagging as a strategy “passed out of all knowledge” as teams fell back on a one-sided tagging approach.

Ride of the Rohirrim was not without incident – very few survivors made it across the fields though there were some very close calls. I’m sure I missed some, but I saw Topanga (Scott) absolutely lay out to tag Pole Dancer before he made it through. YHC managed to sprain an ankle while attempting to cut away from sooner, fulfilling the prophecy of all F3 games resulting in at least one injury. The bear crawl round proved to be far too difficult for the runners, with YHC being the only survivor due to playing dead under Matador after accidentally felling him in friendly fire before crawling to the end when the Eye of Sauron moved away.

Last March of the Hobbits was pretty much an instructional disaster which I will own up to, leaving much room for interpretation. After team 2 took a roaring lead by having everyone carry the one person to reduce the slowness of the lunging, team 1 copied that strategy and flew past during a switch while carrying our lightest member of the party, reminding team 2 that it was a minimum of 20 steps per person which they had misunderstood to mean only a maximum of 20 steps per person before switching. A valiant sprint was made after that reminder, but to no avail.

Almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section, but the Hobbits celebrating with a flagon at the Green Dragon were not as safe as they seemed…someone ripped a loud, juicy fart, inspiring Topanga (Scott) to comment: “Well that was straight from the eye of Sauron.” It was too much for the PAX to take, exercises suffering in quality for several minutes until Focker forced focus with his slow burn reverse leg raise.
Last but not least, almost everyone had a chance to provide an exercise in the ab section. Unfortunately the Hobbits at the Green Dragon weren’t as safe as they seemed…

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
– brewsday is TODAY! 4:30p @ 12S Taproom!
– Spring Fling is this Sunday at the Warner parks, shelter #5, families & friends welcome!

COT:
– sooner shared
– Pole Dancer shared
– Focker shared

Grateful for the vulnerability in the CoT, PAX. YHC shared a word about the importance of fun and silliness in our every day lives, and shared appreciation for the PAX joining me in that today.

As always, it was an honor to lead, men. I’ll SYITG throughout the week!

Tortoise & Hare, Run #4

AO: thestronghold
Q: Red Skull
PAX: Salami, Chunks, Crawlspace, Dan Tanna, Purple Tiger, Barney, Young and Restless, Decaf, Poker Face, Hello Kitty, By Design, All Wheel Drive, Hot Water, Greyhound, Fresh Start, Hoop Dreams, Richie Rich
FNGs: None
COUNT: 18
CONDITIONS: 46 degrees and dark

WARMUP: Standard pre-run warm-up: SSH, Squats, IWs, Stretching

THE THANG: RUN!! 3 miles plus more to pick up the six or some extra special time in the circle with Chunks for extended Mary.

We had several PRs today – Greyhound at 22:05, All Wheel Drive at 27:45 and Y&R with a new PR!

MOLESKINE: This class continues to put forth a great effort on Tuesday mornings. 7 out of 9 4:13 Strong men beat their average time today and 9 out of 9 of them crumbled during Mary, led by Chunks.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Only two more opportunities to get out and with the class. Don’t miss out.

The annual 4:13 Strong Standing Strong Dinner is Thursday 4/24 at Rocketown. A few F3 seats remain so if you are interested, let me know.

COT: Prayers for family, wisdom, strength and endurance.

3/31

AO: detention
Q: Winona
PAX: Deep State, Esposa, Mistah Mistah, Pedialyte, Michael Freiburg
FNGs: None
COUNT: 6
CONDITIONS: soggy

WARMUP: stretch

THE THANG: 40 Merkins
40 squats
Native American run around the block
11s on the hill. Merlin and v up
Rowx20
Lungx20
Squatx20
WWIx20
Burpee burnout
Plank it out

MOLESKINE:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

COT:

Spring 2025 9-Square Tournament

AO: pain-train
Q: Wolfpack
PAX: Timber, Cheeks, Stubs, Siri, Pitmaster, G-string, The Merchant, Sooie
FNGs: None
COUNT: 9
CONDITIONS: Cool and calm

WARMUP: SSH, Merkins, Squats, WMH, Mosey

THE THANG:
Bearcrawl Battle for starting King

9Square
– Two 15 minute halves
– Halftime run around the track
– Corners did 10 merkins between rounds
– Middles did 10 squats between rounds
– King does burpees equal to amount of points between rounds
– If King gets out he has to run to the buses and back

Congratulations to THE Timber who has been crowned our new Universal 9-Square F3 Champion of the Woooorrrlllddddd! And also now owns the record of 15 points!

MOLESKINE: Mumblechatter was consistent and glorious throughout.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Spring Fling April 6th, Merchant Hot Wings April 26th, PainTrain Merkins Madness March 31st

COT: Moment of silence and reflection, especially for those prayers unsaid we keep close to our hearts. Give us the strength and courage to bring those up with honesty to ourselves so we can bring them to others when help is needed.

Need for Speed

AO: handsomizer
Q: Spinal Tap
PAX: Fulton (St. Louis), Grape, Black Lung, Natural Ice – CBO, Freakonomics, Dragon Spark, Juicy J
FNGs: 1 Juicy J
COUNT: 8
CONDITIONS: Perfect

WARMUP: Usual

THE THANG: Grassy Area: dips, decline merkins, step ups, squats

Stairs: Stairway to heaven with incline merkins at each step with 20 dips at each platform

Incline sprints: 50, 80, :100: effort

Finish with fire hydrants and Jane Fonda

ANNOUNCEMENTS: F3 family event coming up at Percy Warner. Sign up for Venmo Natural Ice – CBO to contribute

COT: prayers for Grape parents and Black Lung colleague Issac who was diagnosed with brain cancer

I Can Drive 55 with a Few Friends

AO: bomber
Q: Vector
PAX: Pep, Firefox, Papa Bear, Strutter, DintyMoore, Chunks, CubCadet, SalPal, Cream Cheese, Wet Wipes, Tim the Toolman, Sherlock
FNGs: None
COUNT: 13
Today’s Q was to acknowledge YHC’s 55th birthday a few weeks back. The theme? What’s the best part about birthday parties? No, not the gift bags. The friends. So today (after a Strutter request for a Hagar classic), we celebrated friends.

CONDITIONS: Balmy

WARMUP:
Standard Vector Birthday SSH set — 55 (set to I Can’t Drive 55 – Sammy Hagar. You’re welcome, Strutter)
LBAC x 20
RLBAC x 20
Overhead Press x 20

THE THANG:
Count off and get a partner. Your homework – find out an unknown fact about your friend t reveal at COT.

Mosey to Rec Center.
Pair of friends run around the Rec Center (fun fact finding time) while the rest of PAX work on 55 reps of the following:
Freddy Mercs
Regular Pull-Ups
Iron Mikes
Excellent Form Squats
Normal Merkins
Dips
SSH

Rinse and repeat x 3.

Mosey back to flag for Mary with Hello Dollys, Flutter Kicks, and Box Cutters.

PLAYLIST:
Why Can’t We be Friends? – War
Friends in Low Places – Garth Brooks
Friends – Jody Watley with Eric B. & Rakim
With a Little Help from My Friends – Beatles
You’re My Best Friend – Queen
Thank You for Being a Friend – Andrew Gold
Just a Friend – Biz Markie
You’ve Got a Friend in Me – Randy Newman
All My Rowdy Friends are Coming Over Tonight – Hank Jr.
Best Friends – English Beat
My Best Friend’s Girl – The Cars
All the Right Friends – R.E.M.

COT:
Prayers for those affected by cuts in public health and research.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Spring Fling this Saturday April 6th — check Slack for deets (right Cream Cheese?)

A Few Select Random Facts:
Wet Wipes posing nude in print
CubCadet doing black ops security for Yo-Yo Ma’s son
DintyMoore’s old bottle collection (which he puts highlighters inside off with black light backlighting?)

Thanks HIM for pushing me into year 55!
SYITG,
Vector :microbe:

Burpee Bonanza

AO: thestronghold
Q: Natural Ice – CBO
PAX: Chunks, Red Skull, Skeet, Dan and Dave, Purple Tiger, Barney, greyalbum, Decaf, toga, Young and Restless, Natural Ice – CBO, Freshstart, All wheel drive, Richie Rich, Fulton, Hotwire, Hoop Dreams, Hello Kitty, Poker Face, Grey Hound, By Design,
FNGs: None
COUNT: 21
Backblast: Burpee Bonanza
Conditions: Perfect in the low 40s.
Warmup:
Pax got the blood flowing with:
– 40 Side Straddle Hops
– A short shoulder burn of Arm Circles, Seal Claps, and Air Presses
– Some light stretching to loosen up
The Thang:
We took off on a mosey, dodging holes in the dirt path, and stopped at a random parking lot in front of a business—just in time to wave at the security cameras.
Since consistency is key, I chose my favorite kind of misery: 5 burpees on the minute, every minute, with a “resting” exercise between rounds. It’s only 5 burpees—how bad could it be?
Round 1:
– 10 minutes, 10 rounds of burpees
– “Rests” of LBCs, Lunges, and Squats
After our first set, we moseyed back toward the Startdex, stopping in another parking lot for Round 2. Rinse and repeat for another 10 rounds.
With time still on the clock and some gas left in the tank, we kept pushing. 5 more rounds of burpees, swapping in some core-focused rests to balance out the burn.
At this point, we’d hit 125 burpees, but why stop there? We added 5 more. No big deal. And then another 5 just because we could.
Final Count: 135 burpees.
Moleskin:
Sometimes you have to trust the process and do hard things. The hardest thing you’ve ever done is only the hardest thing you’ve ever done—until you do something harder. Grateful for my brothers who push me to that next level.
COT:
– Prayers were lifted!
– Announcements: Some crazy 50-mile ruck coming up, and the Spring Fling on April 6th!

A Few Merkins More

AO: the-knoll
Q: The Merchant
PAX: Half Lyfe, Lady Liberty, Étouffée, Pebbles, Stubs, morning stār, Sooie, Gold Digger, Bumblebee, Derby
FNGs: 1 Derby
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS:
A little chillier than Tuesday, but dry and clear skies

WARMUP:
10x SSH, 20x BACs, WMHs, 5x Motivators

THE THANG:
Dora: Split up into pairs
One person ran a lap from the playground to the baseball diamond and back, while the other repeated an exercise until they returned, then the two swapped

Repeat until each duo finishes 200x each of:
Alabama prom dates
Merkins
Lunges

Everyone went in a circle and picked an exercise for the group to do 10-20 of, then we ended with a ring of fire.

MOLESKINE:
We briefly contemplated the importance of rest

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Spring Fling
The Merchant’s Hot Buns Spicy Wing Challenge