PAX: 3rd Degree, Stats, Show Me, NumbTucks, Ragdoll (Q)
Let’s talk for a minute about poor life decisions.
Staying up until midnight the night before your Q because of a work function is a poor life decision.
Drinking too much whiskey at said work function the night before your Q is a poor life decision.
Performing a PT test with 3rd Degree in the minutes before your Q is a poor life decision.
Q did all of these things. I make poor life decisions.
PRE-PARTY AND SUCH
Round about 4:58 I look at the radar and see the rain has stopped and ol’ sparky has moved east, so we’re go for launch. Sitting at low 70’s, humid. Soggy ground. Muddy pavement.
Now here’s how this went down.
I show up at 5:15 to lay down some cones for our running Thang. But 3rd Degree is sitting there all lonely with no one taking him up on his call for a pre-party, sadly unrolling the shovel flag, and shuffling his soggy Deck Of Death from Tuesday’s workout.
So I guilt myself into this thing and agree to 2 minutes AMRAP pull-ups, followed by 2 minutes AMRAP merkins, followed by 2 minutes AMRAP situps. So I blow my arms out on the first two, and get about 90 seconds into the situps and just start laughing because I’m so miserably bad at them.
It’s 5:31 so 3D and I head back to the parking lot to meet up with Statsy and NumbTucks. Show Me pulls in late and parks his big black pickup truck about as far away from the group as possible. We wait for him while he huffs it in from Smyrna.
Disclaimer doesn’t need to include lightning but does include that I drank Old Fashioned’s last night, to my great detriment it turns out. We Side Straddle Hop to 20. We stretch thine legs. We mosey to the track.
THANG 1: Mile Run with Sprint Segments
3x around our humble track is a mile. I’ve placed cones at two segments within the track, marking a distance of approx. 20 yards. During these segments the PAX are to sprint.
We crank out 40 merkins in cadence. And then we run. Plank and wait for the 6 when you’re finished with a mile.
Q is the 6. I blame the Bulleit Bourbon.
They also did not plank for me. Though they did wait, so I can’t complain.
THANG 1.5: Lunge Walk
Must get to the bridge. Bridge is a quarter track behind us, so we lunge walk thata’way.
NumbTucks takes off like a scared kitten in a lightning storm. Says he hates lunges so he wants to get them done fast. Omaha about halfway there because lunge walking is silly. We mosey the rest of the way.
THANG 2: Crawl The Bridge
Simple rules. Bear crawl the bridge. Special request from 3rd Degree.
Turn around and do it again. This time Q says you will Crawl Bear the bridge, but also need to spend some distance Crab Walking it.
All those without alcohol in their bloodstream do Bridge & A Smidge. Go you!
Q requests a 12 count from Stats, because he wants 2 more than 10.
THANG 3: The Liberal Leap
To the tune of the recently-released Armin van Buren remix of Van Halen’s “Jump”, the PAX hold Al Gore position for the duration of the song. Each time he sings “JUMP!” the PAX squat jump.
Song is 3:40 and includes 40 squat jumps. 3rd Degree reviewed it on Yelp! as “Suitably miserable” or “Delightfully awful” or something … he didn’t like it. Or maybe he did. I don’t know.
THANG 4: Timekiller
Back to the pain ground for:
– 10 Under-(mud)doggies
– 10 Derkins
– 10 Copenhagens
– 20 Flutter kicks
– 20 American hammers
NAMEORAMA & COT
We prayed for all our F3 brethren, both present and in absentia. We prayed for strength in our families, and wisdom in career choices, and hope within our relationships of friends and community.
We reminded each other that when you step into the boxing ring, you’re gonna get some punches and bruises. But life takes place inside the ring. Be the man in the arena. Be present. Be involved.
POST PARTY:
Numbtucks, 3rd Degree, and Ragdoll did 12 Yurpees while Stats and Show Me went to snatch my cones (thanks guys).
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Thanks to the PAX for their patience with me this morning. I had actually planned for a 2nd mile run and a good deal more merkins but my poor life decisions stunted my capabilities this morning. Thanks for pulling me along and leading the leader. You guys are da’ best.