[Pain Train] #PainTrain: Not Your Mom’s EMOM

Date: 2026-06-12 AO: Pain Train Q: El Capitan , PAX: Cheeks, Juicy J, Pebbles, FLO, Derby, Shakira, El Capitan FNGs: None COUNT: 7 CONDITIONS: THICK
WARMUP:
Climbing Stretch Routine Willie Mays Hays + Bacs / BacBacs 15x
THE THANG:
Mosey to 9-Square Court
EMOM (5 sets per round) // Indigenous Sandbag Run (1 lap around track after each round) 
~10 count rest after each lap
Round 1 – 6 Burpee + Pull-Ups
Round 2 – 7 Perfect Merkins
Round 3 – 8 Mtn. Merkins (4x Mtn. Climber + wide merkin)
Round 4 – 7 Vegas Weddings (4x J-Lo’s + Diamond Merkin)
MOLESKINE:
Seek to serve your family and neighbors “quietly” – not keeping score or seeking attention. All for the good of others and God’s glory.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Shakira really wants to hit up #the-brig. And SalPal is scheduling a convergence there for 06/27. Who’s in?!
COT:
Prayers for Squatter’s wife and family. Prayers for travel mercies this weekend.
Thank you FLO for the delicious FloJoe:tm:
PLAYLIST: ‘00s Alternative + Rap Bangers

The Knoll

Date: 2026-06-11 AO: The Knoll Q: Shakira , PAX: Sooie, Juicy J, Pebbles, Shakira, Roadkill FNGs: None COUNT: 5 Conditions: perfect weather filled with anticipation and excitement
Warm up: Warm up (jog increasing speed, side shuffle, high knees, butt kicks, open the gate, lung with twist)
Drills: Passing & dribbling
The THANG: World Cup Workout Trivia Time 90 minutes in a game = 90 hammers 45 minutes in a half = 45 partner ww2s 30 minutes Extra Time = 30 hammers 13 goals for messi = 13 skater squats 11 players on a team = 11 skater squats 5 shots in penalty shoot out = 5 skater squats
World cup game soccer format Every goal = 5 merkins 
Trivia Time pt. 2 World Cup 1994 = 94 american hammers  48 teams this year  = 48 skater squats US won bronze in 1930 = 30 skater ww2s
Bonus: Partners kick and chase the ball 1 minute plank to Shakira’s world cup hit “Waka Waka”
Moleskine: It’s easy to get stuck in our daily routine and forget that we live in a big world full of people very different than us. Take some time this week to celebrate how diverse the world is!

The Knoll

Date: 2026-06-09 AO: The Knoll Q: Shakira , PAX: Shakira, Pebbles, Étouffée, morning stār, Bumblebee🐝 (2.0), Bear Grylls ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ (2.0), Snoozy bear ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ (2.0), Mugsy🍻 (2.0) FNGs: 2 Snoozy bear ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ (2.0), Mugsy🍻 (2.0) COUNT: 8 CONDITIONS: perfect conditions for a nice sweat followed by a light shower
WARMUP:
Arm circles Willie Mayes Hayes Downward dog to merkin x 5 Butt kicks High knees Walking hamstring stretch
THE THANG:
Partner frisbee toss – Every throw squat and take a step back. +1 rep each throw – Repeat with burpees. Squats up to 15, burpees up to 8
120 squats total, 36 burpees.
Ultimate frisbee  – Every Drop = 1 burpee/6 mountain climbers – Every Score = 5 Lt. Dans/5 mike tysons
Lost track, but well over 60 mountains climbers and 50 Lt. Dans
Frisbee Golf Mary for time – Total group shots = reps – 36 mountain climbers to finish exercise
MOLESKINE: When I learned to play frisbee, I was very bad at it and it took me a long time to learn to have fun at something I was bad at. Find places in your life to do a reality check and calibrate when you need to have fun, adopt a learner’s mindset, and work hard.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT: Prayers for Squatter and his family, the Banker’s friends, and that we all would find moments to be grateful this week.
PLAYLIST:

The Knoll

Date: 2026-06-04 AO: The Knoll Q: Pebbles , PAX: Pebbles, The Banker, Étouffée, Sooie, Malibu, Juicy J, Samwise, Bumblebee, Bear Grylls FNGs: None COUNT: 9 CONDITIONS: Coolish, dewy
WARMUP: SSH Bacs Bac Bacs Windmills Slow Squats Slow Merkins Run to stop sign
THE THANG: 3 rounds of 11
Merkins/Squats MOT Bear Crawls Mike Tysons/Carolina Dry Docks MOT Duck Walk Squats/Jump Squats MOT Burpee Broad Jumps
MARY: None
MOLESKINE:
the MOT was a burner in this workout. Fantastic work everyone.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:
PLAYLIST:

The Knoll

Date: 2026-06-02 AO: The Knoll Q: Juicy J , PAX: Pebbles, Half Lyfe, Shakira, Siri, Juicy J, morning stār, Bumblebee 2.0 FNGs: None COUNT: 7 CONDITIONS: perfecto – little wet
WARMUP: Running around the hood, high knees, butt kicks, sidewinders
THE THANG: Jump Squat Ball Toss Competition- double jump squats, toss, step back, repeat. See who can go the farthest away. Half Lyfe and Pebbles won the most rounds. although morning stār had the best moment- literally a full extension dive and catch
WW2 Partner Toss Competition: See how many you could do with a 3 minute timer, then 2 minute timer. Pebbles and Half Lyfe win again!
Dora Dora
Merry of Abs
WINNERS got a fresh F3 Sticker and organic chocolate peanut butter balls.
MARY:
MOLESKINE: “Comparison is the thief of Joy” – so how about we just stop comparing (ie social media, etc)? Here’s why…
Generational Wealth: Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation will transfer $84.4 trillion in assets by 2045. The top 1.5% of households control 42% of that transfer. Friend of yours always driving the nicer car, bigger house, or better school? Generational wealth is everywhere. So don’t compare…
Nepotism: 9 in 10 people have personally witnessed nepotism influence a hiring decision. 40% of U.S. workers have been hired at a company where a relative already worked. Only 1 in 5 employees believes their workplace is completely free of nepotism. Feel like you’re always smarter than your boss or the execs are doing “better” than you? Well Nepotism is EVERYWHERE. Don’t compare…
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Spring Fling coming up. Date TBD.
COT: Prayers up for Squatter, Half Lyfe family situation, and all those unspoken :pray:
PLAYLIST: Yellowcard

[Pain Train] Pain Train

Date: 2026-05-29 AO: Pain Train Q: Squatter , PAX: FLO, El Capitan, Pebbles, Juicy J, Derby, Lady Liberty, Siri, Pitmaster, Squatter, Floppy Fish FNGs: 1 Floppy Fish COUNT: 10 CONDITIONS: Clear, purdy nice
WARMUP: SSH IW BAC Stretching Mosey while explaining the thang
THE THANG: Run the loop. Along the way do these exercises; 25 Merkins 20 Lieutenant Dans 5 Burpees 5 Pull-ups End loop with sandbag murder bunnies up to 1st pavilion, leave sandbag and return with burpee broad jumps Rinse-Repeat
MARY: Flutter kicks American hammers Up and Outs
MOLESKINE: Gave update on cancer healing journey for my M
ANNOUNCEMENTS: None
COT: Ended with prayer and coffee
PLAYLIST: None

There and Back Again: The Labors of Charles Sanders Baggins

Date: 2026-05-28 AO: The Knoll Q: Sooie , PAX: Sooie, Pebbles, AAA, morning stār, The Banker, Malibu, Bumblebee (2.0) FNGs: None COUNT: 7 CONDITIONS: ““All the heaven seemed covered with a quite vivid and palpable plumage; you could only say that the sky was full of feathers…” — G.K. Chesterton” And verily, beneath such an empyrean did seven sojourning souls assemble for the morning’s labor. The sky hung draped in impossible colors: violet, mauve, pale green, and faint blushes of red spilling upward from the eastern horizon. The kind of dawn that almost convinces a man to become poetic against his will. Naturally, we began with the disclaimer: the sacred legal incantation shielding the Q from responsibility for any questionable life choices about to unfold.
WARMUP: We opened in the grand F3 tradition with Side Straddle Hops. Unfortunately, YHC briefly forgot how cadence functions and nearly resigned in disgrace as the PAX began chuckling at the unfolding numerical catastrophe. Order was restored before mutiny could take hold. – Side Straddle Hops – Walkout Merkins x3 – Low Slow Squats x10 – Imperial Walkers x10
Then came: Shoulders Into Boulders / Keep ‘Em Up / Freed to Lead The PAX rotated through arm and shoulder exercises, calling cadence for 10 reps apiece until either creativity or musculature failed us. Included among the torment: – BAC – BBAC – Shoulder Taps – Air Presses – Moroccan Night Clubs – Put the Glasses On – Seal Claps – Overhead Claps By this point the shoulders were sufficiently awakened.
THE THANG: Now fully prepared, we commenced the trials of Charles Sanders Baggins. One PAX at a time selected an exercise for the group to AMRAP while he proceeded to repeatedly hurl a sandbag approximately 28 yards across the playground in a variety of increasingly questionable fashions. The throw variations included: – Clean → Press → Full Body Chuck – Battering Ram Chuck (Right Side) – Battering Ram Chuck (Left Side) – Kettlebell “Granny” Chuck
Just as we were about to commence morning stār added a mosey to his warmup. Jogging back to his house to retrieve Bumblebee’s sandbag since the 60# behemoth would’ve proven to be unwieldy. He returned in time to participate in the first round of chucks.
As one might expect, chaos blossomed quickly. Merkins accumulated. Squats multiplied. WW2s were inflicted with reckless abandon. Shoulders deteriorated. Grip strength evaporated. And lo, no muscle group escaped taxation.
MARY: Having thrown sandbags to our hearts’ content and our rotator cuffs’ dismay, we concluded with a Ring of Fire up to five merkins. Then finally, one minute of deliberate breath work.
MOLESKINE: Reflected on meaning in the midst of futility…maybe.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Summer Bash TBD
COT: Prayer’s lifted. Sooie Brewie flowed once again. Enjoyed the post workout mumblechatter as The Banker shared his newly discovered passion for bird finding. Reminded me of a post/quote I came across: “As you age, it’s ridiculous how fast bird-watching creeps up on you. You spend your whole life being pretty indeifferent to birds…and then one day you’re like: “Dang, if i’m not mistaken, that’s a yellow-rumped warbler””

The Knoll

Date: 2026-05-21 AO: The Knoll Q: AAA , PAX: AAA, Pebbles, Étouffée, The Banker, Malibu, Juicy J, G-string, Timber FNGs: None COUNT: 8 CONDITIONS: warm
WARMUP:jumping jacks -slow squat -slow merkin -baby arm circles -jog stop sign and back
THE THANG: 100 pull ups 100 push ups 100 sit ups 100 squats Partner runs to stop sign and back, alternate exercise until each partner does 100 of each
1 minute squat jumps 1 minute dry dock 1 minute iron Mike 1 minute bench Merkin
MARY: leg raises, American hammers, flutter kicks
MOLESKINE: Grattitude, take a moment of silence to think of a few things we were grateful for.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: spring fling this weekend
COT: prayers for squatters wife, G in his job transition,
PLAYLIST: classic rock

The Knoll

Date: 2026-05-14 AO: The Knoll Q: Half Lyfe , PAX: Pebbles, Roadkill, Chains (Ryan Johnson), Half Lyfe, Juicy J, Malibu FNGs: None COUNT: 6 CONDITIONS: perfect Thursday morning. Clear skies, birds a chirping.
WARMUP: SSH, WMH, Windmills, Michael Phelps.
THE THANG: Dora Partner Up (see image)
MARY: Ring of Merkin Fire completed 4 rounds.
MOLESKINE: A little ambitious for workout today, but good to push yourself. PAX did awesome today.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: F3 Dads, Spring Fling, check slack
COT: count off, name-o-rama, prayers, coffee.
PLAYLIST: Various.

The Knoll

Date: 2026-05-12 AO: The Knoll Q: Pebbles , PAX: Pebbles, Half Lyfe, Juicy J, AAA FNGs: COUNT: 4 CONDITIONS:
Warmup: SSH, BACS, Slow Merkins, LSS, Indian run the hill
The thang: Team Murph 2 Move the weight. Every group is exercising while one group is moving weight to and from the back stop. Once total weight is moved, rotate.
Once the weight arrives from Playground at the backstop and rotation happens, group doing merkins carries weight back. Once weight arrives back at playground and rotation happens, group finishing pull-ups moves weight back to backstop.
All SBs / coupons piled together separate into (4) groups To start: Group 1 (bars) pull ups Group 2 MOT Group 3 (Backstop) merkins Group 4 (playground) squats
Leave room For Indian run to finish. Depending on group you can adjust weight, length of run, etc.

WARMUP:
THE THANG:
MOLESKINE:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
COT:
PLAYLIST: