Author: hambone

Date: 2026-07-29 AO: Insane Train Q: Sooie , PAX: Choo Choo, El Capitan, Juicy J, Derby, Roadkill, Half Lyfe, Sooie, Inch Worm, Bang Bang FNGs: 1 Bang Bang COUNT: 9 CONDITIONS: Soupy. Though, to be fair, less soupy than yesterday. A thicc blanket of clouds concealed what would’ve otherwise been a full and glorious Buck Moon (see attached image), leaving us beneath a darkened sky with only the oppressive humidity to keep us company. YHC delivered the customary disclaimer: I am not a professional. Do what you can. Modify as needed. Listen to your body. blah blah blah. I also made the following explicit promise: “”I’m not interested in making anyone spill the Merlot or redlining the entire workout. We’ll keep the heart rates manageable.””In hindsight, it is clear that I failed you. On both counts. But I digress.
WARMUP: We began with “Hop on Your Balls.” The PAX bounced upon the balls of their feet as we progressively loosened the body: – Right leg back, continue bouncing. – Left leg back, continue bouncing. – Loosen the shoulders. – Bounce like Bruce Lee. With the PAX sufficiently warmed, we proceeded to contemplate the fundamental pillars of our beloved institution: The Mission of F3 followed by: 5 eccentric Sandbag Overhead Presses The Credo of F3: 5 eccentric Sandbag Curls The Five Core Principles: 5 eccentric Sandbag Squats
THE THANG: Sandbag Suicide Summer Continues Four cones. Sixteen yards apart. And apparently, no regard whatsoever for the promises made during the disclaimer. Beginning at Cone 1, the PAX would throw the sandbag repeatedly until it reached Cone 2. Once there: – 3 Sandbag OHP Then walk the sandbag back to Cone 1. Again, we advanced the bag—throw by throw—to Cone 3. Upon arrival: – 3 OHP – 6 Curls Then walk the sandbag all the way back to Cone 1. Finally, the march toward inevitable regret continued. The bag was hurled toward Cone 4. Upon reaching the final cone: – 3 OHP – 6 Curls – 9 Squats Then, with the bag in tow, we walked the full distance back to Cone 1. One round complete. Then we changed the method of chucking. ROUND 1: Deadlift → Clean → Throw ROUND 2: Behind-the-Back Throw ROUND 3: Goblin / Granny Throw ROUND 4: Alternating Battering Ram Throw The PAX lined up, with the Jon’s coalescing at the right flank. If Puzzlah would’ve been there, we would’ve achieved a 50% Jon representation…again, I digress. The workout quickly revealed itself to be less of a leisurely summer excursion and more of an extended negotiation with the limits of human cardiovascular function (Juicy J excluded). Despite my earlier assurances, heart rates had been flirting with the redline for approximately twenty minutes. At this point, YHC was forced to confront an uncomfortable truth: I had failed you. So, between Rounds 3 and 4, we took a quick mosey in an attempt to bring the heart rates down and restore some semblance of civilization. Upon returning, we lined up to begin Round 3…except our FNG was missing. A brief search and rescue revealed that he had been conducting a thorough structural inspection of the foundations of the comfort station. The inspection was apparently conducted at close range with considerable enthusiasm. Roadkill’s running commentary regaling the PAX with a collection of anecdotes detailing YHC’s questionable Q decisions of days past made the workout much more bearable. T-claps to Derby, Half Lyfe, El Capitan, and Choo Choo for absolutely crushing all 4 rounds!
MOLESKINE: Reflected on building traditions and legacy within a family.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: – Bellevue Hang 8/12 (2nd wednesday of the moth) see FLO or check slack. – CSAUP see Chunks – F3 Community Presence at Bellevue Farmer’s Market (pending) see Derby
COT/COFFEETERIA: – Prayer requests were shared and lifted.
Unfortunately, coffeeteria wasn’t without it’s own incidence…Having survived the field, the PAX gathered for the traditional post-beatdown fellowship and then, in a cruel twist of fate, Juicy J went down during coffeeteria. Somehow, my Q had managed to deliver a delayed critical hit to his hammy. The sandbag had claimed another victim. At this point, I can only conclude that my Qs hit Juicy J harder than they hit everyone else…but I digress.
PLAYLIST: “Heat of the Moment”, “There’s no easy way out”…but these were only playing in my head.