Dora for everyone

AO: greenmachine
Q: Pep
PAX: Chunks, Cowboy, Grape, moneyshot, Sherlock, Matador, Esposa, Betty Ford, Black Lung
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS: cool but wet ground

WARMUP: none

THE THANG:
– dora-ish
– one partner runs in a rectangle (endzone to 50 yard line to sideline to endzone back to sideline)
– while other partner doing a slower movement
– switch when first partner meets second partner
– slower movements:
– komodo dragon
– murder bunnies
– bear crawls
– reversies
– dora:
– exercises:
– 50 mericans
– 100 windshield wipers (each side half)
– 150 fire hydrants (each side half)
– 11’s
– exercises:
– mericans
– squats

COT:
prayers:
– esposa’s wife’s shoulder (going to doctor to find out what to do) prayer for jumping children
– grape’s knee cap (the michelangelo anterior davinci metaclorian tendon is the medical term)
– cowboy’s uncle had a stroke

Big Freedia, Small % of Completed Passes

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Pole Dancer
PAX: Cocktail, TheShield, sooner, Oatmeal, Matador, Toothless, Young and Restless, Focker, bluemule, Esposa, Betty Ford, DrRupp, Steve Austin, Joe Dickey
FNGs: None
COUNT: 15
CONDITIONS: Dewy and Cool

WARMUP: Quick mosey to the fields, active warmup, stretching OYO while delivering instructions for the thang

THE THANG: DORA and Ultimate Frisbee! Set to the rhythmic stylings of New Orleans bounce tunes (obviously a fan favorite of the PAX)

Paired off for a DORA buy-in proceeding some all-offense ultimate!

50x Supermans
100x Burpees
150x Squats
200x Mountain Climbers

Once completed, we split into teams for a half field offense-focused frisbee scrimmage. Each possession ends in either a point for the offense (scoring a goal) or a point for the defense (a turnover). At the end of the possession, go back to the start and switch who’s on offense. Loser of the point performed 5 merkins.

After some lackluster attempts at offense, we instituted a game-wide 10 burpee penalty for each subsequent possession that did not end in a goal. The result was 4 straight possessions that did not end in a goal.

Moral of the story: Middle Tooth plays STIFLING defense (and our completion % more than 10 yards downfield was worse than Jayson Tatum’s 3 point % last night).

MOLESKINE: Welcome to three PAX downrange, come back around next time you’re in town!

Also great to see a return of TheShield!

ANNOUNCEMENTS: Brewsday today, first beers on moneyshot! Yours truly will be in attendance, see y’all there!

COT: Prayers for the dearly departed

PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6UTW304bCrgZQ8Tu1aoRpX?si=a7936594a5e148ee

Field Day

AO: greenmachine
Q: Firefox
PAX: Betty Ford, Shania, moneyshot, Sherlock, Pep, t-cell, Young and Restless, Esposa, Matador, LB, Steam, High Heels
FNGs: None
COUNT: 13
CONDITIONS: Perfectly fine

WARMUP: PAX split up into 2 groups and did a rice bag run twice around the track. We welcomed :downrange: posters from Knoxville Steam and High Heels during the run. t-cell was missing his LBAC.

THE THANG: With the school year coming to a close, in the grand tradition of I Have No Idea Why, we held our very own haphazard Field Day celebration. If you haven’t witnessed or been a part of one of these, everyone gathers and participates in random events. Sometimes there are winners, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Part 1: Partner Races – PAX partnered up, starting at the end zone and raced down to mid-field and back.
– Race 1 – Wheelbarrow (with partners swapping places at mid-field)
– Race 2 – Leap Frog
There were winners! Hurray!

Part 2: Rice Bag Relays – PAX split into 4 groups. 1 member of each team traveled 30 yards and back with the rice bag, handing off to the next member of the team. All others held a plank.
– Race 1 – Run
– Race 2 – Run
– Race 3 – Run
– Race 4 – Broad Jumps (which maybe were more like Bunny Hops)
There was a bit that I did not explain well at all in which a winning team’s cone was pushed back 5 yards as a “reward”… but yeah, we kinda abandoned that part. Also, Pep and t-cell turned this into a contact sport.

Also, some teams won! Some more than others.

Part 3: Rice Bag Relay – Even Ricier
The 4 teams consolidated to two teams and did a zipper relay with the ricebag. PAX got on their six, alternating position so that the person next to you was facing toward you (like teeth in a zipper). 1st team member did a WW1 with the rice bag overhead and passed to the next team member, then ran down to the end of the line. Teams passed the rice bag this way to the 30yd line and back.

Part 4: Wind Screws Everything Up
We attempted to play “Flip the Cone” but, in addition to having one less player, the wind was flipping over any upside-down cone. So, the first round was ended prematurely. We modified to scatter short cones in the middle of a 30x15yd play area. Teams lined up at opposite ends and had to travel to pick up a (single) cone and bring it (a single cone) back to their starting line. We did 2 or 3 rounds of this with bear crawls and another round with murder bunnies.

Part 5: Pick up all the crap I brought

Part 6: Back at Startex, 20 V-ups and 30s of a hollow body hold

MOLESKINE:
– Some poor explaining on my part and some unfortunately windy conditions. But we were flexible and everyone was a good sport. Except that t-cell guy.
– Loved getting to use the big field and track. Hopefully I’ll be invited back to Q again!
– I did not have blue ribbons. Instead we had donut holes. Thanks to Betty Ford for bringing the coffee.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: N/A

COT:
– Matador family health scare
– YHC dealing with workforce reductions on team

Roll the Dice

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Subway
PAX: Oatmeal, Focker, DrRupp, Toothless, sooner, Pole Dancer, Betty Ford, Esposa, TheShield, Hot Water
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: warm 68ish

WARMUP: SSH, Stretching, Mosey

THE THANG:

Buy in before each roll:
10 SSH; next roll 10 squats; next roll 10 burpees – repeat

Based on dice roll – go to that number station:
And perform 25 reps of each movement

Station 1
Americans
Ranger Americans
HR Americans
High Low Americans

Station 2
Curls
CPRs
Rows
Lawnmowers

Station 3
Lunges
Squats
Seesaw Lunges
Calf Raises

Station 4
Overhead Press
Taint Scrapper
Thruster
Truck Drivers

Station 5
American hammers
Mtn Climbers
Flutter Kicks
BBSU

Station 6
Chest press
Grave diggers
Side Bends
Blockees (my fav :face_with_spiral_eyes:)

Ended with three minutes of Mary ab work

MOLESKINE:

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Wings were good; Brewsday May 6th

COT: grateful to get out there on a beautiful Tuesday AM with you all! Thanks for letting me lead.

Coupon Carry

AO: detention
Q: Focker
PAX: Deep State, Young and Restless, Pedialyte, Movin On Up, Average Size, EZ-Go, Esposa, Donkey Hammer, Topanga (Scott), Pound Puppy, Peabody
FNGs: None
COUNT: 12
CONDITIONS: Perfect

WARMUP: dynamic football warmup

THE THANG: grab large coupon for the group and mosey to bottom of bus loop.
One PAX goes backward up hill while others race to the top and do exercises while waiting. Then back to bottom and switch PAX
Navy seals
Burpees
Wall sit
Ww1
Inch worm merkins
Sit throughs
Flutter kicks
Deep squats
Dry docks
Slow heel drops
Diamond merkins

Mosey to playground and one PAX rifle carries coupon to top of ramp while other PAX work
Pull ups
Jump squats
Dips/skull crushers
Lunges
Navy seals

MOLESKINE: good solid work to loosen up our bodies for the week ahead. Good Mumblechatter, yet still difficult

ANNOUNCEMENTS: looking forward to Topanga (Scott) leadership and thank you Deep State!

COT: a call to appreciate the moments we have with our families because time is fleeting

Impossible/Manly/Murder Mile

AO: greenmachine
Q: Focker
PAX: Betty Ford, Toothless, SalPal, Pep, Cowboy, Pole Dancer, Works for a Guy, t-cell, Black Lung, moneyshot, Young and Restless, Esposa, Matador, Shania, Topanga
FNGs: None
COUNT: 16
CONDITIONS: Moist

WARMUP: Drive your car to the workout

THE THANG:
400 meter burpee broad jump :burpee:
400 meter lunge :leg:
400 meter bear crawl :teddy_bear:
400 meter “run” :man-running:

MOLESKINE: -the bear crawl makes the burpee broad jump feel like the lunges
-Works for a Guy unsurprisingly took the crown
-everyone was under one hour!
-coffee, Purity chocolate milk, and Donut Den treats provided (thanks Toothless!)
-one of my new favorite traditions is this horrible mile
ANNOUNCEMENTS: see ya next year!

COT: I think everyone wrestled with their respective higher power during the bear crawls

Middle Tooth Mafia

AO: middle-tooth
Q: Goose
PAX: Toothless, Topanga, Oatmeal, Matador, Esposa, DrRupp, sooner, Betty Ford, LB, The Shield
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Perfect

WARMUP: Willie Mays Hays, Cherry Pickers, Goog Mornings, Arm Stretches, Arm Circles

THE THANG:
– 2 laps native american runs
– 150 Merkins, WW1s, with run between every 25 reps.
– Lunges: 3 trips down and back with 10 squats every 10 strides.
– Circle of Mary, fielders choice, 20 reps max

ANNOUNCEMENTS: nightmoves tonight!

Holy Week 2025

AO: greenmachine
Q: sooner
PAX: t-cell, Grape, Pep, Matador, moneyshot, Black Lung, Esposa, Betty Ford, Cowboy, Focker
FNGs: None
COUNT: 11
CONDITIONS: Glorious and Maundy

WARMUP: dynamic

THE THANG:

“AI can’t make this up”

Palm Sunday – Palm Swap – split up into two groups, line up in plank on opposite sides of the field, last pax sprints to front of opposite line until both lines meet in the middle

Stations of the cross – 12s: star jumps and crunchy frogs; travel is beak crawl/crawl bear; 10 yards

Maundy Thursday – Washing of the feet; stairs

Good Friday – lunge walk and 2 x double plank burpees at 10 yards; 60 yards

Holy Saturday – ring of fire

Easter – up downs to “christ the lord is risen today”

MOLESKINE:
Easter

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Grape is singing in his church choir and he invites you to come see him sing. He’s a tenor.

COT: Matador’s international students event

Tabata Tabata

AO: detention
Q: Accounts Receivable
PAX: Donkey Hammer, Esposa, Accounts Receivable, Pedialyte, Deep State, Mistah Mistah, Cocktail, Peabody, Pepsi, Pound Puppy
FNGs: None
COUNT: 10
CONDITIONS:
Clear and 62

WARMUP:
Side straddle hops
Downward dog
Cobra
Yoga stretches
Imperial walkers
Hillbillies

THE THANG:
Que up the funk playlist (aka 80s porno tunes)

Mosey around baseball loop
Grab coupons and head to playground / grassy hill.

7s on the hill – atomic merks at the top / merkins at the bottom

Tabata round (50sec work / 10sec rest – 4 cycles)
Burpee pull ups
Curl to press
Iron crosses

Mosey back to parking lot
Sprints (atomic merkins) for 5 minutes

Mary:
5 min of round robin core exercises.

MOLESKINE:
Reminder to be intentional with our wives and our families. Engage each other and don’t be afraid to get vulnerable and ask emotional questions.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Cruelhall this Friday is moving to Handsomizer
.
COT:

Back to High School

AO: greenmachine
Q: Pole Dancer
PAX: moneyshot, Pep, Black Lung, Betty Ford, Shania, Esposa, LB
FNGs: None
COUNT: 8
CONDITIONS: Drizzly

WARMUP: Mosey through the field house and onto the track for a lap, dynamic warmups and stretching on the field

THE THANG: reworked exercises back from my high school soccer and track days;

1. Corners!

Run diagonally across the field, corner to corner. Exercise on the corner, karaoke the width of the field to the next corner, exercise. Repeat ad nauseum.

Exercises x20:
– Merkins/Dry Docks
– Squats/Iron Mikes
– Supermans/Lateral Supermans
– WW1s/Diamond Sit-ups

2. Stair Jumpers (stadium steps)
– jump up one stair at a time, right leg
– one stair at a time, left leg
– one stair, both legs
– two stairs, both legs
– three stairs, both legs
– two stairs, both legs
– one stair, both legs

Mosey to the parking lot and 10 minutes of Mary.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: BBQ Sunday, Night Moves in East on Saturday

COT: Prayers for my wife and puppy as they recover from their respective surgeries, folks dealing with storm damage, those on the job hunt.

Appreciate the hospitality from the Green Machine crew!

Playlist: Passin’ Me By Radio
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1E8ENeNzGVJ3Q3?si=1108794c46db4ab3