It was a crisp 59 degrees last Saturday morning at Stonewall. There were 12 brave men, plus BaggerVance who joined after a shitastic run/ruck that left the Kroger bathroom violated.
The night before this workout, I was researching heart rate monitoring devices, and had a great idea for the workout I was about to Q.
The goal was to achieve max heart rate in the first 15 minutes to warm up. Then spend 35 minutes in a cross training circuit with 6 different exercises, and finish with 10 minutes of Ab work. This workout was inspired by scientific studies and theories from a man name Dr. Orange. Don’t bother trying to find him on the World Wide Web. This guys stuff can only be found at local libraries on microfilm.
The workout went pretty much to plan, with the exception of a few fumbles that I will most certainly point out as I know some interested eyes will add comments if I don’t volunteer.
To begin, my Q’ing skills showed a little rust. I started with the disclaimer to appease the bosses and then jumped into “jumping jacks”….excuse me! Side straddle hops. It took me a few seconds but eventually I got my “one, two, three” on and we were off.
25 Ssh’s
13 windmills
13 baby arm circles forward and then backward
15 imperial walkers
15 hillbillies
10 count Willy Mays hayes
10 count quad stretch each side
The pack was led on a 4 minute light jog around the perimeter and thru the basketball court and back to the parking lot
We mosey over to the parking lot entrance and I begin to explain the goal of the first Dr. Orange Workout.
The goal was to achieve a solid warm up based on your personal max heart rate. Currently, my max heart rate calculated by the Doctor was 175 beats per minute.
The goal was to progressively run from Granny White down to Leland on side street increasing heart rate over a 6 minute progression. The Doctor told me that a good jog would get most people to 65-70% of max heart rate. So that’s where we began. Each member was instructed to push themselves on each minute mark attempting to go from 75% rate up to 100% rate by the sixth minute. It was up to them to run at a pace that felt like they were progressing their heart rate up. The Jeweler was the clear alpha in this excercise. Granted, it was not a competition against others but rather with yourself. I assume you would want to know who was the one who dominated.
We finished the warm-o-Rama and moseyed over to the covered pavilion.
Now the confusing part. The workout. Dr. Orange had specifically told me that building muscle was essential to good health and using weights was necessary to do that. He also said it was important to keep your heart rate at a certain level to burn fat.
The goal for the workout was to complete 4 rounds of 6 stations and to stay somewhere @ 85% of max. Heart rate. Each station lasted 1 minute then we switched quickly and began the next.
1st station – deep squat with kettle bell (preacher squat)
2nd station -forward twisting lunge with barbell held with both hands in front
3rd station – standing on toes, jump switch and do arm curl with dumbbell (Princess Aurora was confused mentally and with his muscles on this exercise)
4 – over head press with weight while slightly squatting with back straight pressed against wood beam.
5 – picnic table dips- only do 10 during one minute. Goal was slow and deliberate movement on each one lasting 6 seconds.
6- one push up – this was to take exactly one minute. Goal was to go down as slow as possible and then back up as slow as possible. This was hard
We paired up, and approached each station with a partner and began. PA and I started with Preacher Squats.
It was a slow and steady grunt fest and coupled with no music it was quickly a grind. Mid way thru Dr Orange decided to throw a curve ball and sent the local trash man toting and dragging on an unfiltered Marlboro Red. He decided to change out the trash cans in the pavilion and took his sweet time. The smoke he exhaled began to fill our lungs and provided increased heart rates and a cool, burning sensation. . Bagger joined soon after and let everyone know that he had shit himself on his run and felt bad for the janitor at Kroger.
We finished the 6 station drill at supposed heart rate of 90% as the last minute I announced they needed to push themselves harder.
We circled up in the parking lot and each member led their ab exercise for a 15 count.
Finished with Ball of Man in prayer. PA was like a poet. His enunciation was majestic. And he masterfully and effortlessly closed out our science based exercises with words from the heart.
Amen. And thanks for opportunity to lead.
FtTal