Backblasts

Gentlemen,

I came across this poem a few years ago and it has stuck with me ever since. I’d like to share it with you all now:

A careful man I want to be — 
a little fellow follows me. 
I do not dare to go astray, 
for fear he’ll go the self-same way. 
I cannot once escape his eyes. 
Whatever he sees me do he tries. 
Like me he says he’s going to be — 
that little chap who follows me… 
He knows that I am big and fine —
And believes in every word of mine. 
The base in me he must not see — 
that little chap who follows me… 
But after all it’s easier,
that brighter road to climb, 
With little hands behind me — 
to push me all the time. 
And I reckon I’m a better man 
than what I used to be… 
Because I have this lad at home 
who thinks the world of me. 
-Rev. Claude Wisdom White

As the father of a young boy, this sentiment hit hard. A tiny human full of life and curiosity looks to me to discover how the world works and how we should conduct ourselves in it. He watches and mirrors every move I make, learns from every personal interaction I have, and (scariest of all) listens to every word I speak. He is there all the time measuring the statements I make against the actions I take and that scares the daylights out of me.

Gentlemen, this sentiment leads me to my leadership theme for this month: Lead by Example. Those of us who are fathers know this idea very well. Our children will see us as the paragon of humanity and work their whole young lives to imitate us both consciously and subconsciously. Those of us who have yet to become fathers see this at work in the lives of those who have led us well and in the reflections of those whom we are tasked to lead. It’s an idea echoed in one of F3’s Q-ing standards: “If you can’t do it, don’t Q it”. Leading by example is the single most important characteristic of any leader. It should always be kept top of mind for us as we train our leadership abilities.

My son has watched my evolution from the sad clown state to that of one who actually cares about what he does with his life and his body. He has seen me go from a guy who wakes up late, rushes into work at the last minute, and spends his life drowning in a mixture of video games and self-pity to a man who is up before the sun, pushing his body to grow, and training both my mind and the minds of my family. He has come to admire this transformation and desired to push himself to do the same. The most exciting evidence of this exampled leadership is in his most recent request: “Dad, if I wake up early can I work out with you too?” It’s been 2 months now and this tiny human of 10 years has woken up (on his own) at 4:30 every morning to hit the ground outside in the cold, wet, dark of the morning by 5 to warm up. Some days he loves it and can’t get enough. Others, like this icy, rainy morning, he grimaces and forces himself through it. But the most amazing thing I’ve witnessed is the fact I have not had to push him once. He has seen my constant example and has begun holding himself to the same standard. This is a reflections of Plato’s insight, “The best way of training the young is to train yourself at the same time; not to admonish them, but to be seen never doing that of which you would admonish them”.

This is the core of being a leader. Lead yourself first. Build yourself in all facets through unmitigated daily discipline. Spend every day holding yourself to the highest standard at work, around friends, and with your family. Those who lead you will take note and push themselves to be greater because of it. Those who follow you will admire this discipline and be mentored by your actions. Take that brighter road to climb. Do not dare to go astray. Develop unmitigated daily discipline in all things. And always remember, somewhere, there is a little fellow who follows you.

-Reveille