Stonewall – 2.22.20 – “Rage Against the ‘Wall”

5 HIM got after it in the below-freezing gloom on a Saturday morning to challenge each other and themselves by way of an out-RAGE-ously complex set of workout routines courtesy of YHC.

PAX: Care Bear, Crawlspace, TheJeweler, The Situation

QIC: Cunning Linguist

Gloom Factor: Legit, in a bone-chillingly cold kind of way. You know when you still feel like you’re freezing after 15 solid minutes of working out? Yeah, that’s the one!

INTRO: YHC rolled up at 0529 due to missing his exit on 440 and having to circle back to the entrance to Stonewall (which included getting stuck at a railroad crossing, I kid you not), and thus, the One Minute Warning was called out and YHC gave the F3 Fistbump to all PAX present.

At 0530, YHC gave a moderately verbose version of the Disclaimer and then set off on a Mosey to the Gale Lane Community Park (affectionately known as “The Circle” by some PAX) for our Warm-O-Rama.

WOR:

12 x SSH
14 x LBAC (oops, YHC was still clearly waking up here)
12 x rLBAC
12 x WMH
12 x SnL Squats

Then, one loop of the track and back to the starting location of WOR for our Theme of the Day: The recently-announced Rage Against the Machine reunion tour being held in various locations across the US in 2020.

Rage (or RATM, for the cool kids) was formed in 1991 — 29 years ago. And thus, we started on a Rage-themed routine for THANG 1

THANG 1:
The RAGE Routine
29 x Reverse Lunges
29 x Air Press (overhead)
29 x Gorilla Hummers
29 x E is for Burpees (because words are hard, people)
All OYO, with lap around the track between each letter in the word RAGE.
High plank upon completion

At some point during the aforementioned routine, a car pulled into the small parking area at this park, and it was difficult to discern what was going on inside. Be safe out there, folks (even in the broad daylight of the morning)!

Countdown from 30-1 was called out, then we moseyed back to the gazebo nearest STARTEX for THANG 2.

THANG 2:
DIDs (2 rounds)
15 x Dips
10 x Incline Merkins
5 Decline Merkins

Another countdown from 30-1, then Mosey to the main house at the top of the park for THANG 3.

THANG 3:
ATMs
10 (4-count) x Alternating Shoulder Taps
10 x Tempo (Slow and Low) Merkins
10 Fast Merkins

Another countdown from 30 to 1 was needed (desperately, as YHC was perhaps on the verge of Merlot Splashage at this point in the workout), then we got started on THANG 4.

THANG 4:
Modified Dora
OYO
50 x Merkins
Lap around the large house
100 x LBCs
Lap around the large house
150 x Squats
Lap around the large house
Al Gores upon completion

Mosey to Playground for our final THANG of the day.

THANG 5:
7s
6 pull ups
Mosey to fence at house on hill
1 jump squat
Countdown until we had to cut short for time (believe we ended at 3 pull ups and 4 jump squats) and Moseyed to STARTEX for Mary.

MARY:
All IC
10 x Flutter Kicks
10 x LBCs
10 x Alabama Prom Dates
10 x Freddie Mercury
10 x WWIs

At this point, the clock struck 0700 and we were good to go for countoff, COT, and BOM. Oh, and 2 runners (Black Lung and Right Said) appeared at around this time after putting in another solid 8+ miles this AM. Well done gents!

COT/BOM

MOLESKINE:
Always an honor to lead, and the Men of Stonewall put in a fantastic effort this AM. Thank you for letting me take point for an hour!

BULLHORN:
-TAPs for all families (including the Fogarty family) that are suffering right now.
-TAPs for TheJeweler and his M – ask him directly for more info if you wish to dig deeper into what this means!
-BOLO for Biscuit Run details on Slack – the event is next weekend!
-Same for the En Fuego-led CSAUP – also being held next weekend, BOLO for more deets on Slack!

As stated above, it is always an honor to lead you men! This is your Colonel, signing off!

-CL